Wanking to porn in bed while your asleep

[LemoneyGin]

Woke up last night to OH wanking to porn on his phone. I've previously said to him that I would find that really uncomfortable and have asked several times if he's ever done it whilst I'm asleep next to me & he said no never. Clearly that's a lie & he's admitted it's been 'a few times', I feel really deflated about this - he's lied to my face & has no respect for me (otherwise he would have respected my wishes). How can I trust what he says? We're due to be married next year.

@Bk21

This post isn't about me and my marriage. I left a comment for OP and that was it.

That's not exactly how posting on an open forum works.

Wanking is perfectly natural and healthy, but it is a sexual activity.

In my book, you don't engage in sexual activity in the same room as someone else unless that person has consented (ie you know they're happy with it), whether that be strangers in a train carriage or your spouse next to you in bed.

[quote Bk21]@Nunoftheother we've never considered it.[/quote]
😂😂

@AnneLovesGilbert

Why do you think that?

I don't know - I just can't imagine any guys not doing it. I have trust issues from a previous bad relationship and have tried really hard to get to a good place with my OH. I don't know where to go from here, I don't even feel comfortable at the thought of sleeping in my own bed now as I don't trust him not to do it again

Lying is bad news.

Why does the thought of your husband wanking make you feel uncomfortable?

@JazzyGeoff

Wanking is perfectly natural and healthy, but it is a sexual activity.

In my book, you don't engage in sexual activity in the same room as someone else unless that person has consented (ie you know they're happy with it), whether that be strangers in a train carriage or your spouse next to you in bed.

This is true. In certain scenarios/ situations this can be classed as sexual abuse etc. The issue here is that the OP had stated clearly that this is not something she wanted. Other people have different preferences but that's not the point.

That's gross!

@Cash02

Why does the thought of your husband wanking make you feel uncomfortable?

It doesn't. It's wanking over porn when I'm asleep next to him and have previously asking him not to do that which does.

@Bk21

This post isn't about me and my marriage. I left a comment for OP and that was it.

I don’t think for a minute that your DH isn’t solo wanking. Are you just joking?

Thats Pretty gross.

@yahyahs22

I don't do it myself for personal reasons and my DP says he doesn't but probably does as he's not Christian like me, but I don't expect him not to at all. Never ever been an issue in our relationship. If he wanted to he could. But not next to me watching porn while I sleep, I would definitely ask him not to do that

I don’t think it’s anti Christian to wank? God gave you the pleasure zones so it’s almost unchristian not to enjoy?

He's shown a total lack of respect to watch porn and wank in bed next to you. I would be very upset.

@guga

I feel like if any guy says they don't watch porn they're either lying or they have no sex drive

This is insulting to men actually

I have an ex who never watched porn. In his job he once spent 6 months categorising abusive images of children some of whom were older teenagers/passable for 18 at a push. Porn didn't appeal to him after that. 6 months was all he could do and was then moved to another department.

[quote Bk21]@Nunoftheother we've never considered it.[/quote]
I thought you said it was a big no?

Absolutely nothing wrong with wanking in fact it's healthy, but he needs to take himself off to the bathroom or something if he's doing it when you're in

OP I’m on your side in that there’s no way he should be doing it next to you if you’ve told him not to. Have a conversation with him again and if it happens again he can sleep on the sofa.

@aeiouaeiouaeiou

He's shown a total lack of respect to watch porn and wank in bed next to you. I would be very upset.

I am very upset. I haven't been normal with him all day.

But there's nothing he can say or do to make me feel better is there? Because I don't trust him anymore

If wanking in bed while you are asleep is your red line, then that is fine but I dont think you can or should expect him to stop.
If you don't trust him though OP, then you should end the relationship.

That is really gross...can he not go into another room? Or even the bathroom?

I feel like it’s something beyond disrespect that he is wanking in the bed next to you.

If he doesn’t understand how wrong that is, then I don’t know how to convince him.

Put the wedding on hold.
Think about couples counseling.
Good luck

Nothing wrong with masturbation, with or without partner input... but would not like partner using porn next to me in bed. As one person said a bit sleazy...Maybe you need an honest discussion instead of treating him like naughty puppy...

What’s going on in your own sex life ? Are you having regular sex ?
The porn and walking I don’t mind but next to me yes I would , I’d be offended that he shan’t wake me up for it!

Well I just can't get over the idea of Mucky and her OH watching a film and all of a sudden they whip their pants down and start wanking-whilst OH carries on watching the film!!
I seriously laughed so much!!!
Sorry Mucky-I agree with much of your posts!-but seriously!!!

@charliebear78

Well I just can't get over the idea of Mucky and her OH watching a film and all of a sudden they whip their pants down and start wanking-whilst OH carries on watching the film!! I seriously laughed so much!!! Sorry Mucky-I agree with much of your posts!-but seriously!!!

I laughed at that as well

Jesus, my husband gets the side eye if he rustles his packet of crisps!