Shaking from DP squaring up to me

[Panicking40609]

Posting in aibu for traffic, I’m sorry

I’m shaking. Argument with DP just happened, I was being passive aggressive cleaning up because he’s passing out, can’t even sit up straight because he’s drunk again. He started drinking wine at 8am this morning. We’re in the process of him moving in with me so during said argument he was packing things to leave.

He just snapped and squared up to me, I told him not to and asked him not to make the argument worse by bringing violence into it. (He has admitted hitting ex in the past). I genuinely thought he was going to hit me, I was mentally preparing for it. In the end I pushed him away and he just picked up his stuff and left.

I’ve locked the door but I’m shaking. I was so scared he would hurt my pets.

Love and strength OP. Hopefully he's shown you that you've made the right decision. What a fucking piece of work. Xx

OMG!
He was actually drinking, having arranged to meet you....and despite all his texts, he is now saying 'what anger issues?'.

Horrific as this has been , OP, thank god you found out what a shit he is now.

It doesn't make breaking up any easier, really, because you grieve for what you thought you had, what you wanted.

I stayed with someone who had issues because I (oh, how foolishly)thought that with my love and support he could change...as he kept saying he would. But it got worse - he would say 'you don't really love me...look what (awful thing) I have done now' and I would say 'of course I love you'...and he would be on to a worse awful thing. In the end I realised i was as caught up in his shit as he was and it was wrecking my life. But I so wish I had heeded the signs years earlier.

Take care of yourself, cuddle up with your kitties, and call all your friends on the phone, feet curled up on sofa.

Sorry Op but I'm glad he was so awful when you met up today, I could see you starting to give in, to think he wasn't that bad, that he cared really but now you know that's not true. He's never going to stop drinking for you or see that he's the bad guy. I hope next time you meet someone you'll take a long, hard look before you commit. Give your cats a big stroke from me and enjoy your quiet, violence free home (flowers)

Sorry you are feeling so rubbish OP. But you really are better off without him.

Well he's done you a massive favour by showing just how much of a delusional git he is!

Grieve for the loss of the man you thought he was - not for the loss of who he actually is.

Grieve for the loss of the man you thought he was - not for the loss of who he actually is.

This ^^

Stay strong

I'm glad he wasn't able to contain his inner aggressive dickhead at the meeting. Stay safe keep alert for the foreseeable future.

On wards and upwards op.

So you met him what, mid day? Early afternoon? And he had already been DRINKING. He has absolutely no intention:ability to stop drinking. OP he will not change. As the saying goes, "man takes the drink, drink takes the man". He's abusive and very probably alcoholic. What is the attraction of him? Your own desire or need for a partner? Fear of being alone?

You have the best Christmas ever without having the worry in your life, of him drinking ruining Christmas violence ect, your well rid of that life 💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐

OP I think you needed this to happen, because one point last night I thought you were really going to take him back and let him move in..

You see him for what he is now... scum 🌺

Good riddance

Enjoy your Christmas

He will always choose alcohol over you & anyone else unfortunate enough to become his partner because he is an alcoholic.
He drinks & then can’t control his temper.
You have had a lucky escape by discovering his addiction early on in your relationship.

@Panicking40609 you deserve SO much more than this poor excuse of a “man”... if it was your best friend, your sister or your daughter, what would you advise? I’m guessing because you love them you’d tell them to cut him out of their lives immediately. Love yourself enough to do it for you 🌸🌸🌸

I'm sorry you had to experience that, but I think you'll end up feeling that it was a good thing you did. Now you know exactly who he is.

Write it down on a piece of paper. In fact, write a list of shitty things he's done, especially the way he squared up to you and terrified you. Then if you find yourself weakening or only remembering the 'good times', take that piece of paper out and read it!

@Panicking40609

So just to clarify, he absolutely adores that dog. A lot of our arguments come from how he lets her do whatever and claims her bad puppy behaviour is my issue. She had vets today so I had to give her back. Met up in public as advised, he was drinking when I met him. We talked and I told him I in no way was getting back together with him especially with his issues not being addressed.

He then I shit you not basically said ‘what anger issues?’ ‘You can’t say I have to stop drinking, I’m drinking now and it’s not an issue is it?’

So everything he said he’d do all of a sudden wasn’t true. Then he shouted at me in public.

I’m home now, alone with my kitties. What a piece of shit.

Narcissistic piece of shit! Well done op you've done the right thing

Well done OP, please now just block his number and delete him from any social media and literally erase him from your life.

Drinking during the day, shouting at you.

You have just dodged having the dregs of society move in with you and possibly getting pregnant.

You have dodged a clusterfxxk OP.

Hopefully you will realise this soon.

Wow! But it’s all “YOU BEING MOODY!!!” Ffs! What a shit!!! Glad you can see it’s not you!

Thank god he was so awful again today so you could see through him! What a disgusting man. Hope you're having cuddles with the kitties tonight, stay safe and keep him blocked on everything

I hope you're okay you must be emotionally exhausted.
Not to sound cheesey But there is a nice man wanting to meet a kind person who thinks about protecting her helpless pets in the face of violence.
Put this down to a learning curve there are a few frogs unfortunately.

U have gD a lucky escape. Although it feels hard now .. in time u will know u are better off x

Probably will be the last time I post on this thread as I don’t deserve the advice and kindness.
He’s on the couch, I have been weak and he’s still being horrible. I know it’s not fair to feel sorry for myself as it’s my own doing. I don’t want this yet here he is and I’ve allowed it. I’m so confused.

All I can say is thank you to you all for the past few day

Panicking40609 please have a serious think about speaking to women's aid. You are being very foolish to saddle yourself with a man with anger issues who drinks and who you fear may hurt you or your pets.

Back on the thread someone very loudly proclaimed that you were not getting back with him and it seems they had more confidence in your ability to refuse him than was really the case.

I hope you will consider some counselling for yourself to understand why you value your own safety and peace of mind so little.

And please do not stop posting, next time he does or says something nasty, you may feel the need for some support. I am not trying to be cruel but I think you need a little wisdom from others who have seen this behavior up close (not including myself in that).

Please do not assume he gets to make the rules, you are an adult woman, you get to make a choice.