Dating Thread 197 - Dating into 2021 and beyond

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@NVision haven't caught up with what the others have said but I would say 22 is too young for you. Maybe look in the 25-33 range.
I would be happy to have a look at see if I can give any pointers on pictures or bio. I'm 27 so within the age you are swiping although not currently on any apps or looking.

Hey guys,

Can I join u lot? I’ve lurked for a bit and u always have a laugh/give good advice etc.

I’ve been single nearly 9 years through choice because of having young children. Been dipping in and out of OLD for 18months. I’m having a break at the moment because of Covid (I’m in a tier 4 area), once we move tiers I’ll reactivate my accounts and crack on

Hello @BlueSkyAhead the more the better I think!

Another observation from me - not everyone had the same taste in looks.

This always amazes me I send my RL OLD support teammate a picture of someone I think is so unbelievably handsome and hot I might just melt/swoon on the spot and she's usually 'Nope. Not getting it' or she'll send me a pic and I'm all 'Not even if you paid me'

Definitely have the hots for last nights video long haul chat and she thought I'd sent a joke profile pic. Couldn't believe it was actual. Then had to do awkward backpedaling 😂😂😂

We agreed we'd be perfect for going out on the pull as would never fancy the same guys. Sadly a couple of rural 50ish women in a pandemic unlikely to ever 'go out on the pull'
Dreams are free though.

Yes @Ruralbliss .... you should see some of the comments @Dancerinthemoonlight has made of my irons 😂😂😂

She can't see the Mr Planner thing, I dare to show her Mr Sounds 🤣🤣

Don't dare.

@NVision I'm going to give an alt view to @Dancerinthemoonlight as I would have loved to find someone like you aged 22 and my wild child days were ending...

Probs better to cast net wider than narrower and filter on a case by case basis as not all 22yr olds are the same in terms of life experience and maturity

That's hilarious @cravingthelook
It doesn't make a jot of difference if no one else finds them as swoonsome though does it. Actually makes life easier perhaps if not everyone wanting a piece of your iron.

I still go back to my pics/vids of last ghostly iron lack a total saddo and look lustfully and longingly at his beauty even though he was not good to or for me. That's how flipping gorgeous he is/was. I should delete them really but I'd miss them.

I honestly couldn't believe it when my mate was clueless as to what I saw in him. Mind you she never got to sniff him. That's was the ultimate clincher.

Oh yes.... the sniff 😊

Welcome @BlueSkyAhead

@cravingthelook i was just going to say the amount of pictures we have sent each other and gone nope don't see what you see on them.

@ruralbliss and @nvision I think it comes down to maturity level and what the individual woman is looking for. I'd say just be upfront that you want something less casual and more leaning towards serious. My go to line is 'I'm looking to date and see where things go. At the end of the day I'm looking for the right man to settle down with but I'm not looking to rush things'

Welcome @BlueSkyAhead and @Techgirldating

Welcome @BlueSkyAhead and @NVision

Difficult this dating lark...finally got a match, 3 sentences in disappears.

There must be a better way. Feel like I'm wasting my time, not that I'm doing anything but it's so frustrating.

@Techgirldating know how you feel. I keep telling myself it only takes one.

What’s everyone’s views on happy New Years messages? I mean with irons you’ve been in fairly regular contact with

@LongtimelurkerL I'd expect a Happy New Year message! Mr Yoga isn't well so called off our walk today which was ok as it is freezing. My ex did his usual chat with the kids and his partner bobbing in and out whilst muggins me held the phone. Somehow it does make me critique my own relationship unnecessarily. It shouldn't.

@bangheadhere40 general consensus is that most people have paused OLD due to pandemic and therefore only the thick skinned, desperate or crazies are 'out there' at the moment. Very thin pickings.

I advised my mate not to start her OLD journey just now as will easily be disappointed and dispondent.

Best to wait until things are less restricted and weather isn't non-conducive to walking dates.

I'm as close as I'm going to get to a sabbatical but don't want to look back and wonder if I missed 'my guy' so continuing to swipe but very few matches with decent people.

Hey ho. Better than no OLD is my view.

@LongtimelurkerL
I'm in two minds whether to send ghostly MrVW a hilarious "So I'm guessing the wedding is off... hope you have a good 2021" message

But not sure what's in it for me other than further dignity shredding when he never replies on the other hand would definitely be seen as the better person offering platonic staying in touch which I think I'd like right up to the moment I think about meeting his new lucky lady.

I'll probably sit on hands and talk myself out of it.

@Ruralbliss good advice. I'm definitely not thick skinned so must be in the desperate/ crazy category 😅

You're right though it's probably best to wait isn't it, for a newbie like your friend anyway. I'm kind of accustomed to the nonsense now.

@Eesha yeah I’m going to be upset if I don’t get one tbh.... which is making me feel anxious which is pathetic! Argh! Particularly because I feel like our last exchange (on Tuesday night) was sort of flirty in a cerebral way..fingers crossed I get one

Hope MrYoga feels better soon, it really is very cold! My ex is with his girlfriend and our DD - gah makes me feel worse as well. I think it’s normal

@Ruralbliss, please do whatever is necessary to stop you texting Mr VW ! Unless you feel you really can handle whatever outcome you get. I've been there, got the T-shirt with that kind of thing in the past. It never got me the reaction I guess I was hoping for - at best usually just a ' you too' which never went any further than them being polite.

Ooh New Year’s Eve everyone

Thanks @Onesmallstep67 yes I'm pretty sure I can handle any response including no response and would be sending tomorrow as a NYD msg rather than indicating I'm thinking of him tonight on NYE (which I'm not as delighting in textual comms with my latest iron & have virtual wine bar planned with far flung girls)

But yes worth considering the worst - being blocked, no response, 'who dis?', fuck off and never contact me again....

The best case is any response which I'll never reply to eg 'you too' which will be good as I think of him as a sound bloke who just didn't have the heart to bin me off when he stopped feeling it (early on if he ever was).

Bit of a shaky start to the evening - was doing the junk food trip for solo snacks but very icy outside and given I’m already semi-crippled due to ice my face was like 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑

Safe home with crisps and sweets and various goodies though can’t have alcohol still

Yeh I’m texting my two irons along with an amusing photo of something along with my long distance pals etc. Why not?

@SortingItOut

Hope you doing ok

@Ruralbliss keep sitting on your hands lol or message here if you need to let off steam