DH extreme stress - acting like he’s drunk.

[Levithecat]

I’m hoping someone can bring some perspective or insight.

DH was an alcoholic - secret drinker - I found out just over a year ago and it was awful. We nearly broke up. His excessive drinking started when our first child was born 7 years ago. He stopped when I found out and insists he hasn’t drunk since.

However, he occasionally (varies from twice a week to twice a month) has ‘episodes’ where he is stumbling, incoherent, not there. Can’t be trusted with the kids, argues with me. Basically drunk behaviour. He suffers from anxiety and stress (was off work for six months this year) and his GP and counsellor have decided that it’s some kind of dissociative state.

I am really struggling - part of me feels, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a fucking duck. However, we have had countless discussions, including me accusing him outright, and he insists it’s not alcohol (or anything else). He has been working hard on his mental health and is getting an assessment for dyslexia as I think this is a major factor in his anxiety, but clearly something else needs to happen. It’s got to the point that I’m considering leaving.

I’d love to know if anyone else has experienced anything like this? And if so, was it / how was it resolved?

@justasking111 - gosh that sounds terrifying for you! So pleased you’ve got to the bottom of it, and I hope you’re doing ok now

Could it be an undiagnosed TIA?

This can then disappear only to reappear at a low level again in moments of stress, busy workloads. Classic symptoms would be a droopy mouth and slurring speech, even mixing words up.

He's drinking. Of course he is. The lengths they'll let you go to, and the fear they'll let you endure to avoid admitting it should not be under estimated. Diabetes, stroke, brain tumour, MS, all discussed and worried over. Cut to the chase and ask him to do a breathalyser next time. Save yourself years of gaslighting and fear for his health.

She has divorced him, it's an old thread with the op very kindly came back and updated.

This reminds me so much of an ex female friend.

She would turn up to school to drop her daughter off, staggering in the playground, acting bizarrely- for all intents and purposes, drunk. But she would swear blind it was an anxiety disorder causing it and deny having consumed any alcohol. Didn't smell of it etc.

Turns out she was a hopeless alcoholic, had everyone fooled, including her husband.

Alcoholics will go to the most extreme lengths to protect their wants/needs. I get why it can take so long to accept what’s actually happening with someone you love, when you’re exhausted, worried, in survival mode etc. i always have sympathy when I see people posting similar threads to mine, and people’s responses here matter, even if OPs need time to see the truth. I’m grateful for the support I got here X