I’m going to cancel Christmas in my house

[Unsurekitten84]

I think the UK should have made that decision tbh. No mixing of households. Keep the tier system. Just leave it this year.
I’m quite looking forward to not having to put the tree up or wrap the stupid stocking presents. In fact it is possibly one of the few covid upsides. The downside is my MiL will still demand to see us and is looking forward to everything going ‘back to normal’ for five days, during which she will see everyone she’s ever met 🙄. I’ve said I don’t want to go but dh has overruled me as apparently she has to see her grandchildren on Christmas Day.
We won’t be seeing my family though.

I’ve no idea about the backstory with your families but it seems horrid and quite cruel to cancel doing anything of the Christmas activities with your kids to spite your dh and MIL. You don’t need to see anyone but cancelling a 5yo Christmas just makes you seem like an utter cow.

One small thing. Say you'll go on the condition that next year is your parent's turn to see you. Seems fair.

No, because I’m fed up. But I don’t get to be fed up because I’m mum.

I’m looking forward to spending Christmas with my parents.

Wow, your poor children. You can’t be arsed so their Christmas gets cancelled? You’re not coming across great tbh.

So you're going to ruin Xmas for your kids over it? Lovely...🙄 could understand if they were teenagers and didn't care but your 5 and 12 year old will always remember the year their mum couldn't be arsed.

Dh will make us go to MiL’s - she always takes priority, luckily my family know their place.

Why do you have no say in what you do ? Why can't you tell your husband you want to see your family ?

I feel very sorry for your children

They’ve two parents.
Why is it my job alone?

I sort of know what you mean, when you say because your own parents have nobody else and your mil has other family. Why is it you can't see your family?

We are being a wee bit grinchy. We are only having one guest this year. My sister, who lives alone and won't have anyone else to go to. Other than that, we will probably only see people outdoors, which is what is allowed in our tier anyway. Think that's a good compromise.

Ah x posted with you but with your post of The only part I vaguely used to like was seeing my family and friends so your family and friends ok, your kids and DH and inlaws bad?

@Unsurekitten84

I don’t want to see MiL. I won’t be given a choice. Dh will say we are going so we will go. She’s seen all and sundry throughout the whole thing anyway. My children will be 5 and 12. They only squabble and annoy each other all Christmas anyway and wake up at 4am so everyone is overtired and fed up by 9am.

You don't have a C-problem, you have a DH problem. He sounds rather unpleasant.

Why are you unable to see your parents this year?

I do get where you are coming from.

But please don't punish your children in turn. It's not fair on them.

Gosh, you’ve a five year old and twelve year old at home. You’ve no desire to make it special foe them? To have a tree, decorations they can’t even have their stockings? You call their stocking gifts stupid? And your husband won’t either, so you’re both going to give your kids a shit christmas?

Well hopefully the mil does something for them.

Is he going to pick you up and carry you?

You have a choice.

Go because you feel it's better /easier than standing your ground.

Don't go and deal with his tantrum about it (I am assuming though that he doesn't harm you, if he is abusive then that's a whole other set of advice you would need)

Your bitterness will be something your children remember forever.

Stay at home, see no-one, and do Christmas. Let DH see his mum.

It annoys me even more that we should have had lunch with my parents this year, but now they will lose this year and we will still have to go to MiL’s next year for lunch

Why ?
If you historically go to your parents one year and your in -laws the next and it is your turn to go to your side, then on what grounds is your dh saying you all have to go to MiLs' ?

and

if you do go to MiLs this year, how are you working out that it is still her turn next year ?

You don't have a C-problem, you have a DH problem. He sounds rather unpleasant

What becayse he wants to see his parents on Xmas day and take his kids?

@Unsurekitten84

No, because I’m fed up. But I don’t get to be fed up because I’m mum.

But apparently you get to cancel Xmas because you're in a huff. God my DS is 5. He would be devastated if I just didn't bother with Xmas. Give your head a wobble!

As for the tree etc. I think kids - and adults - probably need a crapload of tinsel and chocolate after the year we've all had!

I’m unable to see my parents because of seeing MiL. It’s meant to be a three household closed bubble. So it would have to be her, us, my parents.
But she will see everyone she knows so that can’t be the case.
We were meant to have my parents over for lunch but now obviously can’t.

You've two children aged 5 and 12. Don't fight your own private battle with the kids Xmas as your weapon!

Have a grown up discussion with DH and reach a compromise both on MIL and on how you are going to make a nice Xmas for your own little family.

It may not turn out to be totally fair or totally the way you want it but that's life. You can handle it without ruining things for your kids.

Op are you having a tantrum becayse you won’t see your parents so have decided to threaten to cancel Xmas for everyone ?

And I’d agree, don’t weaponise your kids. If you’ve a beef over whose parents then deal with it like a grown up.