Not invited to Parter's Christmas

[drinkribeina]

I may be being unreasonable here, and if so then please say!

Been with DP 3 years, both have kids, none together. We don't live together.

Every year DP spends Christmas Day at his Mums, with his older sister and her partner. I usually go to my parents. This year they have said they do not want me to go as my Dad is elderly and they are worried about catching Covid.

I will be spending Christmas Day on my own. My DP has not invited me to his Mum's for the day (I get on very well with his family and do an awful lot for his Mum). His Dad died a few years back.

Am I wrong for thinking it would be nice for DP to invite me to spend it with him and his family rather than let me spend it alone?

Ah leave the OP alone. It takes time to make that shift in the brain. Maybe she doesn't believe he'll actually do what he has planned and it will take that event to clear it up.

Harassing and demanding satisfying updates doesn't help.

@gamerchick I want to clarify that I’m not demanding a satisfying update. I think the mistakes OPs sometimes make here is that if everyone thinks he’s a wrong’un but they’re still torn or they just can’t leave him, they feel they better not post again. I know MN are vipers but... it’s not like that. If she’s struggling, if she’s torn, if she’s overwhelmed, better to come back and say that and get support. And it may be some of the best support you get in your life. This isn’t an “only post if you’re willing to LTB within 7 days” board (shite, we’re not that Ring movie ), and there are SO many woman on here who could tell her they’ve been where she is, right in her shoes, with a boyfriend who did something selfish or cruel, but it was still so difficult to contemplate a break-up. I’m not returning, sitting here waiting for a “ra ra girl power” message. I’m waiting for OP to say what kind of support SHE needs, since SHE posted. If she feels she can’t leave him, I really, really, REALLY don’t think it’s going to be the pile-on she fears. So many of us have been with men who tore our confidence down a bit, and we can tell her a lot about what it’s like to try to make that decision if she needs help (maybe she fears the kids will miss him, maybe she’ll miss his family, maybe she fears being lonely, maybe they have friends in common, maybe he doesn’t chip in much but it’s more than nothing, maybe maybe). There are posters here who have been through it all, and they can help you think it through.

I'm not disagreeing with you right

Why are people abusing the OP? She has taken onboard what has been said, and graciously dealt with all the infamous stereotyping of being a single mum, yet she is being abused for not giving updates about the situation?

This is Mumsnet not a repeat episode of Jeremy Kyle show. If you want to see some action out of morbidity go and find it in your own lives.

@KarmaNoMore

Why are people abusing the OP? She has taken onboard what has been said, and graciously dealt with all the infamous stereotyping of being a single mum, yet she is being abused for not giving updates about the situation?

This is Mumsnet not a repeat episode of Jeremy Kyle show. If you want to see some action out of morbidity go and find it in your own lives.

👏 👏 👏

How are things....have you decided what to do yet @drinkribeina ?

What are you getting from him?

Specifically for Christmas. I can see that the general answer is 'nothing'.

@pompey38

OP must be to busy begging her way at the Christmas table as we speak 😂

Is it necessary to be nasty? Putting a laughing emoji doesn't make your comment funny, at all. OP feels shitty and sad enough, she doesn't need humiliating too. Being uncared for in a relationship is hard to navigate sometimes. Show some humility.

How did it all go OP?

What happened in the end @drinkribeina ?