Not invited to Parter's Christmas

[drinkribeina]

I may be being unreasonable here, and if so then please say!

Been with DP 3 years, both have kids, none together. We don't live together.

Every year DP spends Christmas Day at his Mums, with his older sister and her partner. I usually go to my parents. This year they have said they do not want me to go as my Dad is elderly and they are worried about catching Covid.

I will be spending Christmas Day on my own. My DP has not invited me to his Mum's for the day (I get on very well with his family and do an awful lot for his Mum). His Dad died a few years back.

Am I wrong for thinking it would be nice for DP to invite me to spend it with him and his family rather than let me spend it alone?

What everyone else said. But I'd wait till Christmas Eve to text him saying 'got a better offer to spend Christmas including tomorrow so won't be coming' and then watch him come back to ask about when he'll get his console. Sorry Mr. Scrooge, no Christmas gift for you after all!

I'd send the games console back and tell him to 'ask one of his mates' if he wants one

I'd also tell him to 'see what his mates are doing on Xmas eve' too as I'd not be going round.

I'm sorry op but leaving you alone in Xmas day abs actually making this a conscious decision is beyond shitty.

I'd also drop into a conversion with his mum that you'll be alone in Xmas day as your do doesn't want you there, or if you really want to stay over on Xmas eve, when someone asks you what you're doing (which they will) say 'I'm on my own this year' and when asked if you'd like to stay (which any normal, decent human would) say 'sorry but dp has already said he doesn't want me here for Xmas day

I also agree with everyone else. He wants you over on Xmas eve for his games console and a shag

I think I'd be telling him I'm having my period that day and wrap a chocolate orange up in a large box to give him for Xmas

Sell the console and dump him. He clearly doesn’t give a shit about you

Op so you actually know and admit he is selfish but yet you choose to be with him??
Agree with everyone else, it's clear as day he doesn't really care for you. Know your worth and dump the user.

Wow sell the console and spoil yourself

Tell him to get fucked while eating expensive chocolates.

He will never chance he will always be a selfish twat.

His actions speak louder than his words

Invitation round to his on Xmas Eve only

You deserve better

He wants a shag on Christmas Eve, and his new console. Then he wants you to fuck off so he can play on it.

He doesn't care about you at all. Please raise your standards and get rid of him.

@Pechanga

He wants a shag on Christmas Eve, and his new console. Then he wants you to fuck off so he can play on it.

He doesn't care about you at all. Please raise your standards and get rid of him.

Yup

Whatever about up to now spending christmases separately, that’s fine if that’s what you always do but as soon as he found out you’d be on your own his immediate reaction should have been

“well there’s no way I’m leaving you on your own. I’ll ask Mam if there’s room for another at the dinner table & if not, we’ll have dinner together at yours & then maybe visit her after for after dinner drinks. Either way you won’t be alone”.

If this wasn’t his immediate reaction, then jog on asshole.

When he asks where his games console is, tell him you gave it to your mate as 'thanks' for having you over for Christmas lunch.

In what ways is he selfish OP? To be honest he sounds like he's not really arsed about you one way or another which is pretty shit really. I'm sorry, a person who genuinely cared for you would be doing their upmost to make sure you were OK, he doesn't even pretend to care. You deserve better than that.

On the plus side, you should have no trouble selling on the console.

I'm not one for Christmas and think there's too much pressure for one day... but happily allowing you to spend the alone when you could easily join them is awful. I can't get my head around that he'll have his happy Christmas day with his family knowing you're on your own at home. He's a twat OP aren't you hurt and upset when you are telling him that you'll be on your own?

Sell the console at a profit and tell him to go fuck himself.

I can assure you I am not a troll, my youngest is currently poorly (with Covid unfortunately) so I have been looking after them.

To be honest it's been a bit of a shock reading all these replies. I know he his selfish but it's a different thing entirely to have hundreds of people agreeing with you (and more!). I do really appreciate everyone's replies.

When he said to ask your friend what she's doing, that made it very clear he doesn't want you there for Christmas.

I'd also not want a relationship with someone who was incapable of compromise by alternating Christmas between the two families.

Don’t get the big deal about spending Christmas together tbh!

My husband and I separate at Christmas every year as we both want to see our own families so we just do that it’s just a day and it keeps all the parents happy 😂

Some years we’ve went on holidays, one year I had to work so I stayed in London and went to a friends instead and he went home

It is just a day tbh and I don’t really get the big deal

@Heyahun

Don’t get the big deal about spending Christmas together tbh!

My husband and I separate at Christmas every year as we both want to see our own families so we just do that it’s just a day and it keeps all the parents happy 😂

Some years we’ve went on holidays, one year I had to work so I stayed in London and went to a friends instead and he went home

It is just a day tbh and I don’t really get the big deal

Wow that's amazing

@Heyahun

Don’t get the big deal about spending Christmas together tbh!

My husband and I separate at Christmas every year as we both want to see our own families so we just do that it’s just a day and it keeps all the parents happy 😂

Some years we’ve went on holidays, one year I had to work so I stayed in London and went to a friends instead and he went home

It is just a day tbh and I don’t really get the big deal

You have missed the whole point of the thread. OP posted here because it matters a lot to her and that is what has made the whole difference. It’s one person using the other for his own benefit, quite unlike you and your partner.

He doesn’t want to do alternate Christmas though and why should he have to

If the poster has a problem with that and can’t handle it then the relationship won’t work for her I guess.

Bless you Op. Look it doesn’t matter that every single one of us on here think this is completely unacceptable.
What matters is YOU know it.
Please just find the guts to sell the stupid machine and bin him before Christmas.

Your kids will thank you, you will thank you. The worse that will happen is that you will be alone for Christmas........oh yeah ...you are already.

.

@Heyahun

Don’t get the big deal about spending Christmas together tbh!

My husband and I separate at Christmas every year as we both want to see our own families so we just do that it’s just a day and it keeps all the parents happy 😂

Some years we’ve went on holidays, one year I had to work so I stayed in London and went to a friends instead and he went home

It is just a day tbh and I don’t really get the big deal

Yeah but it’s a discussion you have had and are happy with.

What if your husband said he was sending Christmas Day with his ex and you should find a similar friend to spend the big day with? See problem now?

@Heyahun

Don’t get the big deal about spending Christmas together tbh!

My husband and I separate at Christmas every year as we both want to see our own families so we just do that it’s just a day and it keeps all the parents happy 😂

Some years we’ve went on holidays, one year I had to work so I stayed in London and went to a friends instead and he went home

It is just a day tbh and I don’t really get the big deal

You have such empathy and understanding...........NOT

@Heyahun

Don’t get the big deal about spending Christmas together tbh!

My husband and I separate at Christmas every year as we both want to see our own families so we just do that it’s just a day and it keeps all the parents happy 😂

Some years we’ve went on holidays, one year I had to work so I stayed in London and went to a friends instead and he went home

It is just a day tbh and I don’t really get the big deal

My first

You can and will do better than him Op
You have so much more to give than this man
Do t waste your love on such a selfish man
Every day you put yourself before him will be a better day for you and your children.
1/ Return games console

2/ Return his sister’s money
3/ Buy a treat for yourself, something from your children’s Christmas list ( if they make a list for Santa) and some easy to prepare food for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with the money left

A partner- free Christmas Eve and Christmas Day is the far better option Be free of this man and his selfish ways