Ok, it's a lot to take in. But what's most important is what you think. Not what he thinks. Not even what a bunch of experienced and wise vipers think! What do you think? Do you want to stay with him? Does he buy you nice expensive presents? Are you scared to be alone and clinging on to an unsatisfactory relationship because you don't believe you'll find better?
The last option there is what I did twenty years ago. I had a selfish boyfriend with a lovely family. He made it clear in a number of ways that he was only really interested in himself. But I did like his family. They accepted me. Without them, I would've been lonely. I convinced myself I could bring him round, be such a good - well, wife, because this was my thought process when marrying him - that he'd appreciate me eventually.
Of course, he didn't. He always put his career first, his wants for a large family first, and I couldn't fight him on any of it because I knew what he wanted mattered most to him and that was it. I'm still raising four children now that I love to the moon and back but I wouldn't have had if I'd felt my feelings were at all important. I was just clinging to a relationship that was no good to me.
I don't know if this resonates at all. But if it does, let me tell you that I finally let go after twelve years of marriage. I'd long since lost sight of who I was - and actually that's why I enjoyed being single for five years afterwards. I got to put me first, to prioritise myself, to think about what I wanted to eat, what I wanted to watch on TV. It was a journey of discovery, I can tell you! And it was a bit lonely at times, but Mumsnet helped, and in some ways it was easier to meet people without working round him.
And then after five years of learning to be comfortable in my own skin, I met somebody like me, who is the kindest, most thoughtful, most generous man I've ever met, and we've been together three years and I am so happy now. But the biggest difference this time round was that in the early days, if there's been a hint of dissatisfaction while we were dating, I would've been able to walk away. I only kept seeing him because I felt like I was walking on air every day!