Online dating in your 50's - mark 2

[Fiftyandmore]

Here we still are :)

@TiggerDatter I don't think you are missing out. I've kissed someone even taller and unless you really fancy them it's not worth them bending down 😊

@HairyArsedMan laughing at your reviews of the different sites. I'm on Bumble and can confirm that I am far from twee. I think on Hinge you would also find all the children of everyone you have dated, judging by the ages of many of my 'messagees'!
Hope your meet up is still on for this weekend?

@Greyandrare123 sounds as though your fab man is saying all the right things. Are you definitely wanting only a physical 'no strings' relationship though? You sound a bit undecided with having to keep reminding yourself.

I have never heard of Hppn. Mind you I hadn't heard of Hinge either until I read a thread on here that mentioned it.

@Fiftyandmore sorry that your walk didn't happen today. Had you arranged where and when to meet?
Sounds like the determined one needs blocking. Doesn't want to take no for an answer!

@Hotchocolatey Christmas dates would be great. Especially as we will have a bit more freedom perhaps

I hadn't heard from Mr Gatwick since Monday and didn't message as I know he is very busy with the new job and also, I guess, I don't want to chase! I send an 'are you alive' message this morning. I knew he would laugh and not be defensive. He messaged to say that he was about to start a presentation and would phone afterwards. Had a lovely chat for half an hour, as easy as ever ... if a little cold as I was sitting on a park bench! When I mentioned that we were going into tier 2, he immediately said shall we meet up next week. He also mentioned about taking more time off work during Christmas and having another long lunch somewhere together. I feel as though I need a 'where are we going' chat. Mainly because I feel a bit guilty about seeing other people - no idea if he is too but doubt it as he seems so busy (unless that is why?! ). At what point do you seasoned olds have these conversations?

Sorry to have missed some people's comments. So hard to reply on the phone app!

@Fiftyandmore

I'll go on a date with you *@Hotchocolatey*!

I've just been blocked, I presume he didn't think I was funny! Conversation went like this:

Him: Hi, I'm John from Slough (names and places changed to protect the innocent). How about you?
Me: No, I'm not John from Slough :).

BLOCKED!

Can we have a three some date?

That made me laugh!! I think it's an excellent test to respond with something funny to see how they respond. If they don't find you funny, definitely one to swerve!

@Daftapath Why not 😊The more the merrier 😊

It is very poignant reading all the posts about loss and I think those who have suffered such a loss are all very brave getting back out there.
I have not posted for a while but reading up on all of your dating exploits I have decided you must all be gorgeous to get so much attention.
Still nada, zilch going on for me online.
I will admit I ventured out for a walk earlier this week with someone I met on OLD several years ago that I have kept in touch with. I rang him for some advice one evening as I had an issue that is too long a story to go in to. He offered to help and ended up coming around as he lives locally and I then agreed to go for a walk along the waterfront in the dark and arrived back home at mid - night.
He is lovely and kind, but I still do not fancy him although it was nice to have some male company. He talks...a lot, intense, deep and meaningful conversations. Thankfully he also listens and asks questions, but as usual I just wanted a lull in the conversations. Maybe I have been on my own for too long?

Hello @crimsonlake, lovely to see you :). I saw you on another thread the other day and wondered how you were.

Your man sounds nice and helpful - it's so frustrating when potentially all the ingredients are there except for that one vital thing! Good to know you have a friend you can turn to for help though.

I think it is easy to get used to your own company and set in your ways much quicker than you realise. Sometimes, when I'm in bed at 8pm with my flannel pj's, glasses, hot water bottle, hot milk, maltesers and a good book, I do catch myself wondering if that is a situation I would willingly give up!

*'I think it is easy to get used to your own company and set in your ways much quicker than you realise. Sometimes, when I'm in bed at 8pm with my flannel pj's, glasses, hot water bottle, hot milk, maltesers and a good book, I do catch myself wondering if that is a situation I would willingly give up!'^
Exactly me Fiftyandmore.
Sorry your latest walking date was a no show, however I know someone else will be along soon for you.
I have not been posting on this thread as I have nothing to report unlike so many of you. My standards are really not that high but I would like to meet someone with a face that I might like to kiss no recoil from :) Actually I have forgotten what kissing is like...sad as it is.

I'm not reporting much @crimsonlake other than failures!

The one who blocked me has unblocked me to say "what?"

fifty you're funny. That's an ace response. I'll bet he was one of those men who claimed to have a GSOH in his profile.

Thank you @WeWantTheFinestWines :). I can't tell you what his profile said because now he has not just blocked me but also unmatched me!

It's very slim pickings out there at the minute. @Daftapath are you interested in Mr Gatwick as a potential relationship prospect? Is the distance a real issue? He sounds nice, and it seems that you get on well.

Someone just sent me this - made me smile

The keen one is bombarding me with messages! How is he getting round me blocking him?

The one who blocked me has unblocked me to say "what?"

Are you going to reply "...when, why, where,how"
That will really confuse him

Not much for me to report, Mr Nice but bad teeth messages a little. Mr local, who became a friend, is still someone I talk to. He is attractive but no real spark plus he wants more children (which I think is unrealistic for lots of reasons) but he will have to come to that decision.

Have you seen the other threads on MN about dating? Our experiences seem common so not age related. I wonder if the annoymonity of OLD drives behaviour that wouldn't be there if people met face to face locally.

@Daftapath No, I reported in a previous post that she backtracked on it. Good to know early in the week though.

It's not the women on Bumble that are twee, it's the whole Bee thing ... "You're making quite a buzz", "You've gone through all the bees in your area".

@Fiftyandmore Sorry your date let you down. And for the blocking/unblocking thing. The thought that someone actively wants to irritate you who once sought to get to know you. It's such a silly reactive gesture.

On the angst, it's a long story, and I've only got myself to blame. Maybe I will get into it a bit more after the weekend in which a hike may or may not take place.

@Techway I've read a few of the other threads, yes. And you're right, the awfulness does seem to span all ages. I don't know if that makes it worse or better! I don't remember people behaving like they do now when I was young but a) I can't have encountered as many people in rl as I do on OLD so a smaller sample of people to potentially behave badly, and b) it was so long ago I've probably forgotten everything!

@HairyArsedMan I hope you're ok. It doesn't matter if you've only yourself to blame - most of have been in that position - and if it would help you to share then please do.

@Fiftyandmore the blocking/unblocking guy isn't an RAF officer is he? I had that with one who was very persistent. Was early days of me old and I let it drag on much longer than I would now. He ended up calling me a prick tease!

As for Mr Gatwick being a potential relationship, to put it clinically, he ticks lots of boxes and I very much enjoy his company. Nothing much has happened other than hand holding and chaste-ish kisses goodbye. I think that hurdle (and it feels like a bit of a hurdle for me!) needs to be conquered before I would say definitely yes or no to wanting to pursue a relationship with him. I think if we were to agree that we both wanted more, I could at least at some point tell my kids he was on the scene which would make having telephone conversations in the house possible!

@HairyArsedMan so sorry that I missed that! I thought I had read all previous posts, obviously not. As for hiking to get rid of angst. Excellent idea! I walk a lot. Did 8 miles this morning and whilst I wouldn't say it was hiking, it always settles my head and I arrive home in a much calmer frame of mind than when I go out. Walking got me out of my awful marriage and through my very litigious divorce. I wrote many an angry email (that were never sent. Mostly) whilst walking the towpath!

@crimsonlake it will be interesting to see whether more people start appearing online over the next few weeks.

Well I'm as boring af! I read back my messages & I'm like wtf!
Can't do small talk at all, I'm second guessing (disbelieving) everything these guys say, I'm keeping my cards very close to my chest..
is there any hope me

@Daftapath no he's a banker. Mr Gatwick does at least sound like there's potential - that's a lot more than I can say for anyone on my horizon! Do you mean the physical side is the hurdle you must get over? I'm impressed with your 8 miles - do you have lots of nice walks around you?

@TrickOrSlayTrickOrSlay there is most definitely hope for you! We all have different conversational styles - I think there's a lot to be said for keeping your cards close. It's better than the opposite. I'm ok at small talk but I'm a bit flippant and it's not always well received - see my posts from earlier today!

So some man just asked me to describe myself in 5 words. My knee jerk response was to ask if he was interviewing me for a post but I thought I'd play nice. I hate that sort of thing though so turned to Dd for help. Her helpful suggestions were "a really really bad cook" or "tequila tequila sambuca sambuca wine". I don't even like wine ... :).

Haha Fifty I like your dds banter!
I need to learn some good one liners..

@TrickOrSlayTrickOrSlay I think it also depends on who you are conversing with. I have some conversations that just never seem to flow and yet others start off amusing from the off. Who knows what makes them one rather than the other. It's definitely a two way thing and not you.

@Fiftyandmore I love a bit of flippancy and suspect your dd takes after you! My two would happily come up with something similar for me. I also hate those sorts of questions that put you in the spot. He isn't really going to learn too much about you that way.

Yes, I mean the physical side but also moving on to more than holding hands. It's difficult when you don't see much of each other. I feel as though we take the first couple of hours relaxing with each other again ... or maybe it's the wine!

I walk along the river. I did two moonwalks so 8 miles doesn't feel that far now! It's also pretty at which makes a huge difference.

Fiftyandmore, I can come across as flippant in messages. I think my problem is that I think I am being really witty and sometimes it perhaps does not translate well in to the written word. That said if they do not appreciate my humour they are no loss.

Im sorry I cant link at all on this phone today.
I think I am just a bit suprised that someone from Fab could be so decent. Im quite happy with a FWB arrangement as the pressure of planning things other than a date is too much for me. Ive no idea why Id think he wouldnt be decent but its caught me off guard. I had an expectation Id fancy the person maybe but not have much of an open and honest run of conversations. I dont want to be involved in his life and I am ok with the Fwb and delighted that I like him and happy that although its a physical thing for him, he is also happy to take walks with me.
Ive got another Fab date lined up for next week. Messages have been steady and general updates etc.
To recap. Ive had 6 dates in total in about 2 months. All walking dates.
Date 1. Tinder. Beyond strange. He messaged and then wanted a call quickly. He had verbal vomiting on the call. We had a coffee the next day and he sat and bragged the whole time and he didht even make much sense. He then messaged to say I was beautiful and could be come to my house. Blocked.
Date 2. Tinder. Younger than me. Handsome and charming. We had 2 dates. He is back in his home country for a while. We message and he sends me pics of himself looking cool.
Date 3. Tinder. He didnt walk at the same pace as me. He was a good conversationalist but didnt seem to make much effort. He suggested a follow up drink and I was up for that but he didnt persue it.
Date 4. Tinder. Didnt fancy him and he didnt ask any questions. Told him that it wasnt doing it for me.
Date 5. Tinder. Wouldnt leave the cafe to help me with my parking issue as it was raining. Didnt fancy him. Told him so before getting back into my car.
Date 6. Fab. Enjoy his company. Had 4 dates in total.
Had one too who arranged to meet me and was looking forward to it blah blah and then got a message 2 hrs before meeting to say he was working.
Thats me.
Best of luck to anyone having an interlope date this weekend either in or our of your pandemic pod.

@Greyandrare123 you've had a lot of dates, you're embracing this! My rl friend is back to her usual self as well - she's had one date this week, and one lined up for tomorrow and Sunday.

I've had a spate of men in their late 60's contacting me today. I expect they're nice men but most of them look older than they are. I'm only 4 years off 60 myself so I shouldn't be so dismissive - but I can't help it!

A new low has just been reached - I swear the man who's just messaged me is either Father Jack from Father Ted, or is his twin brother! He even looks pissed!

fifty I see your late 60s men and raise you a 74-year old. That's like me messaging a 34-year old. What is wrong with people?!

grey you have been busy, I'm impressed.