Relationship with married man for a year! Now what...

[conb123]

I know it's awful and I will be judged. But I have been in a relationship with a married man for over a year. His partner discovered the affair a few weeks ago and he's gone back to his partner and I am beside myself. It's literally as if I have never existed. How could he do this to me. Is it time to move on? I have wasted a whole year on this man. Promises me the world then drops me as soon as she finds out.
Some constructive advice needed please.

Wow you're brave...brace yourself for the responses

Only advice I have is go NC and seriously consider your morals
I can’t even be bothered to muster even a teeny bit of sympathy for you

Have you never read any novels, seen any films or read MN before? It's the same story twisted over and over and over again.
What advice can you possibly expect other than going completely non contact, licking your wounds and learning from your mistakes.
I'm not sure how old you are, or indeed he is, but you seem a bit naive not to have expected this outcome. He is obviously the cheater here, but you can't honestly have thought he was going to be much of a catch? He certainly isn't now.

Obviously it's time to move on.
You were complicit in a deceit and now you've been dumped because this man just wanted a bit of fun not a serious relationship.
I assume he spun you some lines.
Truth is you were never more than free extra sex.

He didn’t go back to his “partner”. I think the word you were searching for was “wife”. Big difference.

Well, to him it probably is like you never existed tbh. You were probably an insignificant part of his life and are now an inconvenience. He’s focussing on what he wants and you need to accept that and learn from it.

Get some self respect, learn from this and move on.

Well he is a fuckwit and you are well rid - but you knew that.
Having been on the other side of that shitty stick, let them duke it out and count your lucky stars you made it out the other side.

You meant nothing him other than an easy shag. Sorry OP but it’s true. You were the mistress. He doesn’t want you and never had intentions of leaving his life for you.

Get some self respect and move on and ffs leave married men alone.

@Kintsugi16

Well, to him it probably is like you never existed tbh. You were probably an insignificant part of his life and are now an inconvenience. He’s focussing on what he wants and you need to accept that and learn from it.

An insignificant part of his life for over a year?

Yawn

I am beside myself. It's literally as if I have never existed. How could he do this to me. Is it time to move on? I have wasted a whole year on this man. Promises me the world then drops me.

It's almost like his wife is probably saying the same thing right now (and her hurt and pain is justified tbh .) What were you predicting would happen?

When a man is prepared to lie to his wife, expect every word out of his mouth to be a lie to you.

When a liar tells you something, assume that it's likely a lie.

Married men who cheat aren't nice, honest, trustworthy men so if you take up with one, know what you're lowering yourself to.

Men will say anything to get sex. It's just words. Judge people on their character and you won't fall for smarmy, lying creeps because you'll know their game.

Your problem is your own low standards and wish to believe that you were better than his wife. That's why you were desperate to believe his lies. Your ego's dented because he's lied to and made a fool of you.

The only thing you can do is learn from experience, pick up some self respect, raise your standards and become someone worthy of a decent man.

I hope you're got your tin hat on op.
Block block block as they usually sniff around after a few weeks looking for sex. Eat chocolate, drink wine, cry it out. Then consider what you want and what your prepared to put up with.

He lied to his wife, he lied to you to get sex and now you’re wondering what happened?

He’s a cheat, he chose his wife and no doubt when the dust settles he’s be sniffing around you for sex again.

What are you expecting people to say? This was always going to be the outcome. It's a story older than time, and if you thought otherwise you were being terribly naive.

It doesn't matter how long you were shagging. You were always the bit on the side and he was always going to drop you when his wife found out.

You lose them how you found them!

Hi OP. I hate to say it, but if you were so significant to him then he would have left his wife for you. At this point, it's extraordinarily unlikely that he's going to leave her to start a relationship with you (I say start, because although you may have been sleeping together, albeit for a while, it was never a real relationship). If he does come back to you, it will only be because his wife has (hopefully) kicked him out and he has nowhere else to go. Is that really what you want for yourself?

You've had some excellent advice here already. Keep your head down and stay away and learn from your experience. You'll never get any sympathy here. Sleeping with someone you know is married or in a serious relationship is a really shitty thing to do, but you knew that.

You were the cake, he ate it. You let him.

How many times have you seen this played out?

Did you really think he was going to leave his wife for you? Could he never find the 'right moment' in the year hes been seeing you?

Let me guess, he told you him and his wife dont get along, they dont have sex etc when hes been fucking and deceiving you both.

Let this mistake be a lesson learned, not one you want to make again.

How did his partner discover the affair?

What had he promised you?

“When a man is prepared to lie to his wife, expect every word out of his mouth to be a lie to you.

When a liar tells you something, assume that it's likely a lie.

Married men who cheat aren't nice, honest, trustworthy men so if you take up with one, know what you're lowering yourself to.”

This. Why do you think you deserve to be treated better than he’s treating his wife?

I have no idea what you expect from this thread, MN is full of women who hate women like you. Women like me. You won't get any sympathy or constructive advice.
I've been there. Be thankful it was just a year. Men will always take the easier option. The option that causes least upset and upheaval. No one on here knows his feelings towards you but one thing I always think is, if he felt for me like I felt for him we'd be together. He doesn't and we're not.

My sympathy goes to this man's wife. You and him are disgusting. Learn some morals and you won't get hurt again.

Why would you trust A man that is capable of lying to his wife for over a year about where he's going/seeing/doing? And why would you think good of a man that is capable of betrayal of trust...
What made you think he wouldn't do exactly the same thing to you?

@Separatedandabitsad

How did his partner discover the affair?

What had he promised you?

She found messages on his phone He told me he was leaving her