He even questioned what kind of mother I’d be because I wasn’t trying to make the best possible house for our future baby.
So he married you. Talked about children. And presumably thought you were good enough to be the mother of his children. But only on condition that you do everything on his whim and without question? And presumably he's still suitable to be a good father despite the fact that he's not done anything more than go to a couple of expos and told his wife she's unsupportive of his pie in the sky nonsense?
Honestly he's very happy to give you a good kicking and put you down but there's never a question in there about his motivation and his decision making.
By his own logic he will be a shit father because he hasn't got off his own arse to build a house, but you don't see him framing it like that do you.
Besides which since when were good parenthood skills and potential defined by your willingness to participate in Grand Designs? Is Kevin McCloud's the anti-supernanny? Does having been willing to have a trench full of concrete and running out of money to pay the builders for 6 months whilst you live in a caravan make you more maternal, better at changing nappies, more patient when they scream all night, more able to cope with a nightmare toddler or better placed to help them with their homework? Does the enourmous debt you've wracked up on your credit card for you fantasyland help you put shoes on your kids feet or help buy them school uniform?
I genuinely am having doubts now about my skills as a mother because I have failed the 'staring at brutalist architecture' test and haven't spent hours pondering over whether bifold doors have had their day and i should be choosing sliding doors because you can have larger frames to the outside countryside.
This guy is a monumentally bellend who really isnt missing an opportunity to shit all over you.
He will never build his Grand Design. He will also be too busy chasing the lastest woman who doesn't ultimately live up to his fantasy and he can blame for his own fuckwittery.
He doesn't like women. They are just excuses and tools for him to be a lazy fucker without taking any of the responsibility.
If you stay with him, there will always be a reason why you are shit and have held him back. He will blame every one of his failings on you, because he's a childush arsehole.
Do you really want to live like that?