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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My husband is miserable because he thinks our marriage isn't working. I was happy until he said this...

464 replies

IGJ10 · 16/11/2020 15:25

I've been married to my husband for 2 and a bit years - it's my first marriage, his second. I love him to bits. Around a year ago, I had some issues with trusting him - I found some excessively flirty/sexual messages with some of his longstanding female friends on his phone. He was open about the fact that he is very flirty with some of his old female friends because it helps his self esteem (which is painfully low - he has often questioned whether he's good enough for me and expressed feelings of disgust about himself). He let me have full access to his phone and changed the way he interacted with these friends, but I felt betrayed that even after we'd married he still needed that validation from other females. I can be honest and say I went from a confident, independent woman to a bit of an emotional mess. Initially I managed to deal with this quite well and we were very honest with each other. At the same time (earlier this year), he started a new job and a member of his team who is very young and pretty has been texting him a lot. And he responded - again, whilst not crossing the line officially (messages were mostly about work) there was a very flirty overtone and when I saw the messages I flipped out. Whilst he has, once again, amended the nature of his messages with her (and he shows me them when I ask), I've met this girl and it's obvious she's besotted with him and gives his ego a massive boost. He claims he feels just friendship towards her and I've accepted that and we've carried on as normal. I haven't asked to see any of his messages for 6 months.

A few weeks ago he told me he wasn't sure about our future, he feels unhappy and has been feeling like he's going through the motions. This was a shock to me. Particularly as he said he'd actually been feeling this way for well over a year (long before I saw the first bunch of flirty messages). I'm aware that my paranoia and trust issues affected him but I felt I'd resolved them and we were getting on an even keel. We've been talking about buying a house and starting a family. I asked him today if he has feelings for that girl and he said "I don't know. Possibly. I don't know what I feel or why I feel." He said he loves me. I asked him what's wrong with the marriage and he said he doesn't know. Despite everything, I've shown him total trust, even after what we went through. I am confused. We are hopefully going to start counselling but any pearls of wisdom would be appreciated. Apologies that this is so long.

OP posts:
IGJ10 · 19/11/2020 06:44

@Caeruleanblue

This is part of what I find frustrating. We actually did talk about it at the time - he said he had this big dream to build a house and I wasn’t engaged enough and he questioned the value I hold on our future as a result. He even questioned what kind of mother I’d be because I wasn’t trying to make the best possible house for our future baby. I told him of course at the time that I’m more than happy looking for our forever home, but to me building one has never been top of my list of ways to get there. And I went on to be actively involved with his self build forays. But he can’t let go of the idea that not only did I not jump onto the bandwagon instantly but that when I did get involved, my heart wasn’t in it. And I had to point out that’s because my heart really wasn’t in it! But I still wanted to be supportive. I can’t pretend to be someone else. I don’t know why he won’t let it go.

OP posts:
crosshatching · 19/11/2020 07:00

Well I can't say I blame you @IGJ10, anyone who's ever seen Grand Designs knows that you should definitely have a baby either well before or after a house build. Otherwise you'll find yourself spending a winter in a caravan in a beauty spot with no wind break between you and the North Atlantic, pregnant with triplets.

Seriously, the levels of entitlement he's showing are pretty concerning, please consider that your needs are as important as his won't you?

LilyLongJohn · 19/11/2020 07:06

This is part of what I find frustrating. We actually did talk about it at the time - he said he had this big dream to build a house and I wasn’t engaged enough and he questioned the value I hold on our future as a result. He even questioned what kind of mother I’d be because I wasn’t trying to make the best possible house for our future baby. I told him of course at the time that I’m more than happy looking for our forever home, but to me building one has never been top of my list of ways to get there. And I went on to be actively involved with his self build forays. But he can’t let go of the idea that not only did I not jump onto the bandwagon instantly but that when I did get involved, my heart wasn’t in it. And I had to point out that’s because my heart really wasn’t in it! But I still wanted to be supportive. I can’t pretend to be someone else. I don’t know why he won’t let it go.

How dare you have your own opinions op and not simply agree with your dh blindly. Hmm

lazylinguist · 19/11/2020 07:21

He even questioned what kind of mother I’d be because I wasn’t trying to make the best possible house for our future baby

Wow, so all the parents with regular bought houses must be awful parents eh? Dear lord this man talks some nonsense, doesn't he? It's another example of him being willing to spout whatever rubbish he wants to make you do/allow/agree with his whims and fancies.

SortingItOut · 19/11/2020 07:44

When he says you weren't supportive of his house building idea what he meant is that you should have taken charge and sorted it all out for him so he could have his dream.

His dreams are more important than anything and if you really loved him you would have made his dream happen.

He didnt want to put any work in himself apart from to say what he wanted.

No doubt all his female friends thought his dream was amazing....

WizardOfAus · 19/11/2020 07:51

He even questioned what kind of mother I’d be because I wasn’t trying to make the best possible house for our future baby.

With every update OP, he is worse and worse. This paragraph made my mouth fall open.

He questioned what kind of mum you would be? He’s putting doubts in your head that you won’t make a good mother because you don’t tow the line with his dreams?!

Why, why, why are you even staying another 30 seconds with him?

Please, please go now and never look back.

I also want to scoop you out of there. This guy is royally fucking you up with his horrible words and actions.

whataday12 · 19/11/2020 07:54

I think he's still messaging this other women and has feelings for her . Now the usual thing it's not working out between us I havnt been happy and you two end it and he's straight with her 😴

Dery · 19/11/2020 07:55

OP - every update you give makes him sound yet more immature and entitled. And has he once thought about what you need? The whole house-building thing is ridiculous. To suggest your reticence would mean you wouldn’t make a good mother is flat out nasty.

As PP have said: this is how he makes everything your fault. Judging by this, he’d be a hopeless father - he’s just endlessly wrapped up in himself. I’m pretty sure he equates sexual desire with love because there’s no evidence of proper, mature love for you in what he’s saying.

The problem is that if you think you might want children, the more time you waste with him, the more your fertility window closes - unless you want to have a baby with him but accept that you may well be raising her/him alone or in an amicable co-parenting situation.

I know you are uncertain about whether or not you want children but it bugs the hell out of me that he can waste another 10 years or more and still father children when you need to act now. He is wasting your child-bearing years. Yet more evidence of his selfishness.

Dery · 19/11/2020 08:02

Look up DARVO if you are unfamiliar with the phrase.

A good marriage does not turn you into a nervous wreck within 2 years. This man is bad for you.

Lozzerbmc · 19/11/2020 08:19

OP this is meant to help you- I discovered my DP was on tinder as a notification popped up on his phone - he sworn never again but this morning ive snooped and found sexual emails since - so they dont change! Im Planning exit strategy.

Fluffycloudland77 · 19/11/2020 08:24

I must be a shit wife because I haven’t done any of these things either.

It can’t be that unusual to not want to build a house. One episode of Grand Designs would put a lot of people off “Sadly Fleur & Hugo have separated due to a long & cold winter in a caravan & the house is open to offers” camera pans to shot of Hugo adjusting the ground source pump heating on a tiny Scottish island with no internet, school, shop in a Waitrose black spot.

IncludeWomenInTheSequel · 19/11/2020 08:30

Look, forget the house building nonsense!

It's just another smokescreen of a way in which he's breaking you down so you'll become a comprehensive doormat.

Please please leave before he accomplishes it.

RedToothBrush · 19/11/2020 08:53

He even questioned what kind of mother I’d be because I wasn’t trying to make the best possible house for our future baby.

So he married you. Talked about children. And presumably thought you were good enough to be the mother of his children. But only on condition that you do everything on his whim and without question? And presumably he's still suitable to be a good father despite the fact that he's not done anything more than go to a couple of expos and told his wife she's unsupportive of his pie in the sky nonsense?

Honestly he's very happy to give you a good kicking and put you down but there's never a question in there about his motivation and his decision making.

By his own logic he will be a shit father because he hasn't got off his own arse to build a house, but you don't see him framing it like that do you.

Besides which since when were good parenthood skills and potential defined by your willingness to participate in Grand Designs? Is Kevin McCloud's the anti-supernanny? Does having been willing to have a trench full of concrete and running out of money to pay the builders for 6 months whilst you live in a caravan make you more maternal, better at changing nappies, more patient when they scream all night, more able to cope with a nightmare toddler or better placed to help them with their homework? Does the enourmous debt you've wracked up on your credit card for you fantasyland help you put shoes on your kids feet or help buy them school uniform?

I genuinely am having doubts now about my skills as a mother because I have failed the 'staring at brutalist architecture' test and haven't spent hours pondering over whether bifold doors have had their day and i should be choosing sliding doors because you can have larger frames to the outside countryside.

This guy is a monumentally bellend who really isnt missing an opportunity to shit all over you.

He will never build his Grand Design. He will also be too busy chasing the lastest woman who doesn't ultimately live up to his fantasy and he can blame for his own fuckwittery.

He doesn't like women. They are just excuses and tools for him to be a lazy fucker without taking any of the responsibility.

If you stay with him, there will always be a reason why you are shit and have held him back. He will blame every one of his failings on you, because he's a childush arsehole.

Do you really want to live like that?

billy1966 · 19/11/2020 09:07

OP,

The house bullshit is only a deliberate distraction.

He actually sounds abusive.
Deliberately trying to upset you, confuse you, put you on edge as he throws ideas and expectations at you.

Moving the goal posts and then belittling you when you don't immediately adopt his latest idea.

He just sounds awful.

You will NEVER have a calm peaceful life with him.

He will always be looking over your shoulder at something else whilst busily putting it all back on you.

Awful.

Men like him leave women as shadows of their former selves.

Protect yourself and your future from him and his fxxk wittery.

Flowers
picklemewalnuts · 19/11/2020 09:53

He is just looking for ways this is your fault. He'd have been happy enough with you if only... you'd had no opinions of your own, thought every word he said was golden, followed him blindly through life and submitted to his every desire sexually.

And it would have got more extreme with time. He'd have needed more and more from you- a bit spicier, a bit spicier again, a still spicier again until it would have been into territory you'd never imagined. And probably involving other people.

Gregariousfox · 19/11/2020 10:01

OP it strikes me that by saying it's not helpful to apportion blame, he means he doesn't want to take any responsibility for anything. He's quite happy to blame you for not spicing up the sex life or not indulging his self-build fantasy. And yet he doesn't see that he needs to change at all, including not being involved in flirting with other women. Guilting you is a classic tactic of the manipulator and the type who will never take responsibility.

It concerns me that you've assigned yourself the role of fixing everything: fixing him, fixing yourself, fixing the relationship, when he's the one causing the problems.

I wonder if there's a clue in what you said about your dad. If he's never supported you, you may not have any expectations that men will meet your emotional needs. Anyway, I'd really recommend you go to individual counselling and sort out what you need in a relationship and what you have the right to expect. Because at the moment you're getting nowhere near what you deserve.

Good luck Flowers

ravenmum · 19/11/2020 10:05

I don’t know why he won’t let it go.
He won't let it go because it is literally the only thing he can come up with to distract you from all his numerous, enormous flaws.
This one totally spurious, obviously nonsensical thing is the best thing he can come up with as "proof" that it's not just his fault entirely.
He's probably kicking himself for getting together with someone who's simply nice and decent, as it gives him nothing to latch onto whatsoever.

Honestly, the ridiculousness of his claims should reassure you that it really is not you.

starvingfish · 19/11/2020 11:02

You have every right to be feeling insecure! I would be too! After marrying you and still needing validation from others to boost his ego?! It's not an excuse. You're blinded by love OP. Don't go to counselling and spend the time working on yourself, working on moving on to someone who will be an actual man.

IGJ10 · 19/11/2020 11:29

@picklemewalnuts
Involving other people is precisely what he’s interested in. Though, interestingly (or not!) he doesn’t particularly want other women involved, he wants to see me with other men. I said no...

OP posts:
blindinglyobviouslight · 19/11/2020 11:37

Wide eyed “Dh I’ve been thinking about our conversation. There’s a man at work I really quite fancy. In order for me to stay with you I need to see you stick a cucumber up your arse and help me fulfil my dream of walking the south west coastal path just the two of us in midwinter with a only a small tent and some pot noodles for sustenance. What do you think my darling?”

Grin Nailed it.

TwentyViginti · 19/11/2020 11:39

he wants to see me with other men

As pp including myself have said, he doesn't like women. He sees them as a service. What would the other hoops you have to jump through be after you shagged other men to please him?

It's ALL about his wants. Where are you in all this?

Why you are still with this spoiled manbrat now is a mystery to me.

Good luck OP.

ravenmum · 19/11/2020 11:41

Sounds like he enjoys being cuckolded? Part of his whole low self-esteem shtick?

IGJ10 · 19/11/2020 11:43

A lot to process here. I agree that not wanting to ‘build the way’ doesn’t make me a bad person or bad potential parent. I obviously took exception when he said this. I’m not sure if he apologised. His reasoning was that we should provide the absolute best we can for our future baby, this is our duty. After chucking out the house building idea, we had been (until a few weeks ago) looking for a good house to buy and make the most of the stamp duty holiday. And I’ve been doing most of the legwork. The irony is that we’ve now had to stop so we can sort our shit out. Which means, if we do survive, we’ll miss out on this. And even with the stamp duty holiday, in order to get a decent house where we live I’d have to borrow a significant amount from my family to make this happen. Which is a horrific ask since I don’t get on with my parents, but there are others who’d help. And I was quite prepared to do this because of my ticking womb time bomb, even though the house we are in now (3 bed townhouse, very small kitchen and garden admittedly) is more than acceptable to have a couple of kids. He feels strongly that having a beautiful space to live is very important to happiness. I said I agree it contributes to happiness but more important is loving your child, nourishing them, educating them, putting a roof over their heads and having happy parents. If we’re paying back massive loans and a big mortgage, money will be tight and that surely will affect childbearing and happiness more. My preference was to stay where we are, have kids then move when we can afford it comfortably and without borrowing. He still felt that I don’t value our future by doing this.

OP posts:
IncludeWomenInTheSequel · 19/11/2020 11:47

So now you're supposed to be his real-life porn.

And to add to it - he is making up obstacles to you having children.

He does NOT feel strongly that having a beautiful house blah blah blah. Stop regurgitating this shit as if it's true! You need to be so much more critical than this; he is massively fucking you over and you're on here telling us how a beautiful home is foundational to his family planning.

blindinglyobviouslight · 19/11/2020 11:48

Oh god OP he's awful.

Trying to emotionally manipulate you into giving him what he wants by saying you would be a bad mother if you don't. Low, low, low.

Telling you he will only be faithful if you shag other men whilst he watches.

Jesus Christ, don't waste your time with this pathetic loser.

As another poster said, ' You are married to a wanker who doesn't even bother to hide that he's a cunt.'

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