Snoop or not?

[thelockdown2]

NC for this as I'm active on other threads - naice penis beaker etc.
Daily Mail are wankers (just in case).

Anyway I need some advice please. I'm currently pregnant with our 3rd and I don't know if I'm being hormonally paranoid or if something is going on.

I've just got this horrible gut feeling/spidey senses that DH is doing something he shouldn't be. Our sex life has tanked, he's secretive with his phone, he parks up outside our house but is "on a work call" for 45 minutes and won't come in. He's shown very little interest in me recently.

Anyway I've acquired his passwords for Facebook messenger, google and discord. He's recently removed the apps from his phone but continues to log into them. I can only surmise that he thinks it'll be harder for me to get into if the apps aren't on his phone. Why remove them if you're still logging into them?

My question is - can I log in to these without him receiving a notification? His google account has previously been logged into my phone when he's used it, and as a result I could see his search history about 18 months ago which threw up some major questions in our relationship but we worked through it.

Now without the "don't snoop if you don't trust him just leave him" advice it's really not that simple. Am I just being insane? And if I'm not then I'll need irrefutable proof before blowing up my family.

So will he know if I log in and check?

@EpochTime I did need to hear that little nugget of rationality.
I think looking at the battery usage tonight will give me a good idea of how worried I need to be.

I already feel quite drained and exhausted with it all and I haven't even done anything yet.

I did try and have this conversation with him about two weeks ago and he literally brushed it off as everything was fine.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. You're especially vulnerable because of your pregnancy. His behaviour sounds incredibly suspicious. I wonder whether it's still the flower woman - have you seen her social media?

I'm just so scared of what I'll see

I understand, OP; I've been there myself and what was discovered was beyond my worst nightmares

Unfortunately it appears he may have seen your forgiveness for his previous lies as a green light and to just be more careful next time, and what you're describing now has red lights flashing everywhere

So really it's a choice between sticking your head in the sand or ripping that plaster off, and the question is whether you can live with knowing deep down what he's up to and not doing anything about it

Id check dating websites with very localised settings.

@HollowTalk I've tried looking on Facebook for her but can't find her - but I don't have an account. He does though 🙄 Found LinkedIn but there's fuck all on there.

@Puzzledandpissedoff just need to figure out a way of not tipping him off with all these damn notifications. I'm still torn on whether or not these flags can come with a reasonable explanation or not.

And cant you just find the number hes calling from the car then ring it yourself/change the number in his phone to yours

@user1471565182 Done that - not a whiff of anything.

@user1471565182 Fucking genius. I'll check the call log tonight. Genuinely don't know why I didn't think of that.

@Puzzledandpissedoff Aren't you the poster whose thread started "cancel the cheque"? I have always wondered what happened in the end - did you ever hear from that woman?

I have an idea. I'll PM you now.

just need to figure out a way of not tipping him off with all these damn notifications

I know, OP, but with the sudden (and unmentioned) new phone there's every chance he's already realised you're onto him

None of us can fully know of course, but what you've described sounds as if you're already well past the need for doubt. The cat and mouse hunt for "proof" (I recognise it all too well) can easily drive you mad, and even if you catch him out he'll probably expect to be forgiven again

From last time you already know you're with a cheat, and instead of working hard to reassure you he's now giving you ample reason to worry again - so the only real question left is whether you can go on living like this?

I haven't RTFT but if you look at a Linked-in profile the person can see you have looked at it.

I don't want to risk disrupting OP's thread so will PM you, @HollowTalk

Thanks, Puzzled. I've just sent you a message, OP.

Honestly @thelockdown2 the calmer you can be the better it is for you and baby AND the less he'll cotton on to your suspicions.

@HollowTalk Where do I find private messages? Do I need to log into the browser version not the app?

@scottgirl I used a friends profile a while back.

@thelockdown2 good work.

@HollowTalk Got it thank you - I did reply let me know you got it.

A little low tech solution is to just leave ur phone in his car with a sleep app switched on....it records any noise made so if he is in the phone in the car u can hear what was said. Also did u know ur iPhone can be used as a mic - switch it on and leave it anywhere and u can listed into what’s being said in real time......
If u know his pin try looking at his location - google allow you to pinpoint where you were weeks/months ago.

@Astella22 How exactly do I check location?

Should be able to see everything (if he has google location switched on) by going to www.my activity.google.com

Also I get this email after I signed in

‘Your Google Account was just signed in to from a new Windows device. You're getting this email to make sure that it was you’

You could always get another phone, put it on silent, and hide it in his car to track it and see where he goes. Pretty sure you don't need to bother doing this though, unfortunately, the writing is on the wall. Really sorry you are going through this.

I definitely get an email when I log into Google. It also says the same of the device, so will list either my make of phone/tablet or my laptop.