Snoop or not?

[thelockdown2]

NC for this as I'm active on other threads - naice penis beaker etc.
Daily Mail are wankers (just in case).

Anyway I need some advice please. I'm currently pregnant with our 3rd and I don't know if I'm being hormonally paranoid or if something is going on.

I've just got this horrible gut feeling/spidey senses that DH is doing something he shouldn't be. Our sex life has tanked, he's secretive with his phone, he parks up outside our house but is "on a work call" for 45 minutes and won't come in. He's shown very little interest in me recently.

Anyway I've acquired his passwords for Facebook messenger, google and discord. He's recently removed the apps from his phone but continues to log into them. I can only surmise that he thinks it'll be harder for me to get into if the apps aren't on his phone. Why remove them if you're still logging into them?

My question is - can I log in to these without him receiving a notification? His google account has previously been logged into my phone when he's used it, and as a result I could see his search history about 18 months ago which threw up some major questions in our relationship but we worked through it.

Now without the "don't snoop if you don't trust him just leave him" advice it's really not that simple. Am I just being insane? And if I'm not then I'll need irrefutable proof before blowing up my family.

So will he know if I log in and check?

@TwentyViginti Well it is really, I forgave him so I can't bring it up every time something goes awry.

Yeah I will address it, it has been a working progress over time - if i manage to pull off this next promotion (maternity leave allowing but that's another story) I'll be the main breadwinner, substantially so, and he can be the one to make the career sacrifices like staying home when the kids are sick.

Does he know you post on here?
He seemed very 'ready' to hand his phone over and that battery didn't show any use unless he hasn't had time to set things up and is using something else? Kik? Sorry naturally suspicious mind here probably not helping but instincts set you off on this.

Just re-reading and to add I think he knew you were on to him.

I dont think OP's being unreasonable at all. It still stinks of guilt and the fact she feels deflated is because she hasnt actually got any answers after that conversation. But I'd just give up on him, I would have before.

Did you say you know where his older phone is?

I mean have you actually seen it yourself being handed over?

Honestly I'm not sure but the speculation could kill me.

But I can't throw away ten years and my family on a hunch so I just need to keep my eyes and ears open. Either that or I've just warned him to be more careful. Let's see how it pans out.

I know some people may think I'm silly but I'm in a very vulnerable position right now.

You can throw away 100 years because you dont like his eyebrows if its making you unhappy.

@IronNeonClasp

Does he know you post on here? He seemed very 'ready' to hand his phone over and that battery didn't show any use unless he hasn't had time to set things up and is using something else? Kik? Sorry naturally suspicious mind here probably not helping but instincts set you off on this.

The guy now can't do right for doing wrong. If he hadn't handed over his phone it would've been suspicious and handing it over is ALSO suspicious?

OP I don't really know what more you could want of him regarding openness. Hell, if my exh had been that transparent it would've made a world of difference.

I feel actually really deflated and quite down. Not relieved like I thought I would

I understand, OP - this is the price of being with someone who you know has deceived you before, in that each new doubt can unbalance you all over again even as you try to get past it

Certainly your discussion sounds positive on the face of it, and yes he's been receptive to some of what you've said, but the fine words can't remove the very natural doubt and it's now just a matter of keeping an eye on things

It's not an especially pleasant way to live though, and I wish you the best of luck with it