Breadcrumbing?

[notsurewhattodo22]

I'm feeling really down...I posted a while ago but it's no better.

I split with my ex ( if you can call it that) about a month ago. There was no real finality, we had a bit of a tiff and he said he couldn't give me what I want / need..and he wasn't prepared to.

Since then I've not seen him but he's kept in touch by text. There has been no mention about me and him...just boring stuff really. I initially tried to make it up but he said he wasn't sure and since then he's not mentioned 'us'.

It's doing my head in as I can't move on as I'm reminded everytime he texts. I also can't bring myself to ignore or block him as I still love him and there's that tiny bit of hope. I know he doesn't feel the same and he has no idea how sad I am about it. I don't want to humiliate myself going over it again.

He says he's very depressed at the moment so that keeps me there as I don't want to be nasty to him. He's been pretty bad to me though.

I feel like he's breadcrumbing me but I'm not sure....he could just be depressed and want a friend.

The lack of an ending though and then intermittent texts asking how I am is making me very confused.

I’m not sleeping great at the moment so I’m just exhausted, typically it’s that time of the month and I also had a migraine today so not the best of days.

Being in lockdown makes in ten times worse as well.

Good for you, your definitely making progress. Time is a great healer as they say, we will get there. I actually look forward to meeting someone who loves me, who’s interested in me as a person and my thoughts, someone who takes the lead and doesn’t expect me to lead all the time. I’m quite an affection person so it will be soooo nice to be with someone similar. But that is a while away before I even consider looking. I’ve spent all of this time putting someone else first so I’m going to spend 2021 putting me first and doing everything I want to do and learning to love myself again.

Really really missing him tonight ☹☹

You're missing your idea of him. What you wanted him to be. Not what he actually was.

Remember how he made you feel after your row? You really miss how you felt then, do you?

@TwentiViginiti no I don't miss how I felt then.

it's not all his fault by any means. I was harsh but it was due to frustration of being led on and thrown crumbs for a year! So I was so frustrated by him any little thing escalated. Xxx

I'm feeling terrible!

Not heard a thing since our fall out. I'm now doubting myself that I was mean, I told him he was leading me on ( which I felt he was). I then sent those other messages 2 weeks ago he ignored when I was trying to explain.

I don't know why I'm missing him so much 😪

I thought it best to delete all our messages / texts, but now I can't even read back to clarify how he was.

I had a dream about him last night so that's not helped.

I keep reminding myself that regardless of the argument he never really wanted to meet up and I wasn't happy, miserable in fact.

I'm not sure why I'm writing....just to get it out I think.

Would most women put up with a guy who is fine to not see them for weeks on end?

@notsurewhattodo22

Would most women put up with a guy who is fine to not see them for weeks on end?

Are you actually with him op? If not, how did it end?

Check out HG Tudor - Knowing the Narcissist on YouTube. It covers all the sorts of questions you’re having... it might help.
At the end of the day, you have to accept him for who he is, it wasn’t anything you did, you were reacting to him and the situation.
It’s good that you’ve had no contact. Keep it up and let the feelings wash over you, you will think of him less and less as time goes by.

How are you OP? This thread reminds me of what happened with me!

I've not heard a thing from him.

I still miss him...although I'm not sure what I miss. I keep thinking I should be over it by now 😥

@notsurewhattodo22

I've not heard a thing from him.

I still miss him...although I'm not sure what I miss. I keep thinking I should be over it by now 😥

What have you done so far to get over him?

Not sure how are you doing today? I've just read your thread through.

I ended things with my oh of 4 years last night. I won't go into detail but a lot of what you read is how I was treated and it's so hard to deal with.
We've had a great relationship as a whole, but he'd drag his heels on things.. He'd tell me he isn't responsible for my emotions whenever I tried to talk to him about 'us'
We had a minor dissagreement at the start of last week, but it was dealt with yet he'd early not dealt with and just didn't show up to mine last night.
I rang him (he doesn't like texting).. He didn't answer.. He then texts me.. By this point I'm raging and call him again and he answers and I lose it.
He could have done anything but that total disregard to me made me so upset. We had a few messages back and forth last night, he knew he'd pushed me..it was all about how I didn't understand and how he obviously didn't mean much to him.. If only he knew.

Anyway sorry to digress. Its so so hard I know. I woke crying and feel awful.. 😭

@heom45 so sorry you are sad and thanks for asking.

I'm doing a little better thanks, he's still on my mind but I'm not so gut wrenchingly upset.

I miss him still but there's no point me trying anymore, he never did.

Not sure sorry to hear that, it's a horrible feeling.. Hugs

Hey @notsurewhattodo22 how have you being? I’ve being following your thread