Breadcrumbing?

[notsurewhattodo22]

I'm feeling really down...I posted a while ago but it's no better.

I split with my ex ( if you can call it that) about a month ago. There was no real finality, we had a bit of a tiff and he said he couldn't give me what I want / need..and he wasn't prepared to.

Since then I've not seen him but he's kept in touch by text. There has been no mention about me and him...just boring stuff really. I initially tried to make it up but he said he wasn't sure and since then he's not mentioned 'us'.

It's doing my head in as I can't move on as I'm reminded everytime he texts. I also can't bring myself to ignore or block him as I still love him and there's that tiny bit of hope. I know he doesn't feel the same and he has no idea how sad I am about it. I don't want to humiliate myself going over it again.

He says he's very depressed at the moment so that keeps me there as I don't want to be nasty to him. He's been pretty bad to me though.

I feel like he's breadcrumbing me but I'm not sure....he could just be depressed and want a friend.

The lack of an ending though and then intermittent texts asking how I am is making me very confused.

I know ☹ this was a couple of days ago now, I won't do it again and it's probably easier he did ignore me.

I'm finding it difficult as for so long I was nice to him, waited for him etc. For him to blame my shortcomings as to why things didn't work out hurts....

I was fine as long as I didn't question him, have any wants etc.

I am highly sensitive I suppose and any attack on me ( like last week) affects me for a while.

Can you do an online course on something? Or read a lot of books? Start a ludicrous exercise programme. Anything to keep your mind elsewhere.

Sounds similar to how my ex was, hot and cold all the time!!
I've just gone NC myself, it's so bloody hard!! I really want to reach out but what's the point?!

Hi strippedfridge going to try and focus on my work today!

I've not made any further contact and won't do.

To PP no...just think how the bad response / no response would make you feel.

@notsurewhattodo22

Hi strippedfridge going to try and focus on my work today!

I've not made any further contact and won't do.

To PP no...just think how the bad response / no response would make you feel.

I'm staying strong so far, luckily I don't have to see him face to face till weekend. Do you ever see yours out and about?

No, I never have to see him again...he lives a fair distance from me.

That makes the finality of it even worse really, struggling a bit today ☹ I can see objectively what has happened. He isn't what I thought/ what he presented to me and promised. I think I'm very much missing something that wasn't real, just lies.

Oh god I pathetically miss hearing from him so much today.

I'm just writing here how much I miss him instead of getting in touch with him again 😪

It's much better for you to write here, than be constantly feeding his ego. It won't be long before it's a new year. You don't want to drag this on into 2021. Look at some possible holidays, a total image change, new hobbies you may enjoy. A new life awaits, once you drop the shackles of pining for this headfucking loser.

Yeah I hope it's okay to write....

I miss him contacting me, miss telling him about my day, miss any hope I had left for us.

I go from thinking I've ruined it to thinking of all the stuff he did.

It just really hurts more than anything I think that I didn't mean much to him.

We were in touch pretty much 24/7 for 15 months bar the times we fell out for a few weeks.

It’s so hard but you will get there. Try not to dwell on what went wrong or what you did/didn’t do.
Focus on your future and on being happy again, the things you can control. Focus on 2021 and the new start, without the hurt and the arguments. x

That’s exactly how I feel @notsurewhattodo22 I alternate between sat her wondering if he’s ok to then thinking “no!! He DOES NOT LOVE YOU!!!” Nothing good will come of this!!”

I keep thinking “if only I do this or that” that he will love me again, but if he truly did then he wouldn’t have treat me this way and he would be contacting ME.

I just know that this WILL get better and like pp said, we don’t want to go into a New Year with someone who doesn’t deserve us.

@Sickofthisshit you are most correct 🙂

Plus there is nothing to stop them contacting us is there if they were so bothered, they obviously aren't.

Sorry @Sickofhisshit

If mine truly gave a shit he would have wanted to see me, not blamed me for everything or flaked at the first sign of me having an opinion.

Urgh still miss him....I just want to get to the point that I'm not sat here missing him and feeling I've ruined everything. As you say worrying if I'd done this or that etc things would have been okay.

Bet he's not sat here making threads desperately missing me.

@Sickofthishit what happened with your guy?

😁 @Sickofhisshit sorry x

My DH cheated on me, left me for her, then came back then contacted her again!!
I’m sick to death of him consuming my thoughts and my life!!
Hopefully if lockdown ends soon then I have a child free weekend away booked with my sisters end of January, cannot wait to have lots of vodka and talk shite with them and not give him a thought!!
He only has the kids on weekends (every other) as he works shifts during the week, so I don’t get much “me” time, however the bonus is I also don’t have to see him as he picks the kids up from school Fridays and drops them at school Mondays...not looking forward to Christmas break :(

Oh I'm sorry, what a pig! Xx

You are much better off without and I'm sure you will have a lovely weekend away.

I'm stuck working from home in the house all day which doesn't help, and can't see anyone now. Maybe try and do something nice on your child free weekend for you ( says me who does nothing 😁).

I've had NC for a week now, been awful, so tempted to contact but haven't.

Find myself missing him.

Since I deleted him I can't see when he's online, I guess that's best but it's really hard.

Don’t do it @notsurewhattodo22
I don’t feel an urgent to msg mine but do keep staring at my phone pathetically.
I just want this feeling to stop and it’s so tough having the kids here, when all I want to do is go curl up in a ball and cry

Isn't it hard! Today is the first day I've not cried about it. It's been pure hell, I hope there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Well done for not messaging, it's so hard isn't it x

And yes with kids there it's worse...how old are yours?