Had enough of making all the effort and am going to become a hermit

[stayanotherday]

Hi

I'm a single woman (47) with no family.

I've been in the same job for 17 years, soon to be made redundant. Worked on a very friendly team for years. Worked hard but we all got on and had a laugh. Have also built up what I thought was a circle of good friends over the last 2 - 10 years by joining groups and doing voluntary work because it's wrong to feel lonely and not make efforts. No issues with neighbours but they keep to themselves.

Since lockdown we've been wfh. The office is closing anyway. I've messaged everybody about every 10 - 14 days just to say Hi and check in. I've asked now and then if they'd like to meet up for a (socially distanced!) coffee and if they were free for a chat on the phone which was declined.

I get people have their own lives and I've tried to balance caring enough without constantly demanding or bothering them. I also get it's a hard situation for all of us and everybody's struggling. There's been no arguments or unkindness but they just haven't bothered in return. Thought we were close but am shocked to realise that's not true and the friendship ends at the door.

I left it to see if anybody would get in touch since about a fortnight ago. They haven't. I've decided not to get in touch again. I don't want to be a needy nuisance and can't do anymore. It's not as if I've got nothing else to do as I've been applying for jobs, working, studying, shopping and doing housework.

I'm in a lockdown area so am limited for now but to be honest I've had enough of trying to make friends, ending up making all the effort and can't do it anymore. I hate being completely isolated and that it's come to this but I've been let down too many times in the past and I'm not being a mug anymore. It's knocked the sauce out of me.

The next few months will be interesting. I can work anywhere in the UK and might have to move to follow the work. If that happens I won't look back or bother with people anymore. It will be so hard but at least I'll know where I stand. Society didn't want me and now I don't want its pain anymore. No wonder we're such a lonely society. I don't know why I posted really, just wanted to put it somewhere.

Sorry for the essay and thanks for reading.

[MidnightColours]

@SparklingLime, thank you and to you too! Hope you had a lovely 1st January. Did you get up to anything?

[stayanotherday]

Thanks Sparkling and Midnight. Happy New Year to you too.

[stayanotherday]

Stay - pity you have Covid and only three people have been in touch. You learn from this once and for all. YOU CAN'T RELY ON ANYBODY. EVER. People let you down. At least you're still working and that's going well and just as well you're a self sufficient prepper with plenty of food in. Don't know what you'd do otherwise. You remember this. Keep yourself to yourself and onwards and upwards alone from 2021.

[MidnightColours]

Hello Stay, oh no, I did wonder why we hadn't heard from you. I thought you were taking a breather from the thread and didn't want to impose. How very wrong I was!
I hope you are better now? Please report back, many on your thread will read with interest. I'd like to know for sure.

[MidnightColours]

Hello Stay, how was your weekend and how are you doing today?

[JohnMcCainsDeathStare]

Hi Stay and all others - hope that January doesn't suck too hard.

Sorry to hear you have COVID - how are you feeling now? How is everyone else doing? I'm hopping between attempting to WFH while homeschooling - the boys are finding this hard.
Actually got some sunshine today - My SAD has been particularly hard this year. ANyone else?

[Onthebrink67]

Hi all sorry I’ve not been around feeling quite low re lockdown etc. Find this time of year difficult normally and this year has been worse than ever. Sorry to hear you’ve had COVID @stayanotherday how are you doing now? How’s everyone doing?

[SparklingLime]

Oh goodness, @stayanotherday! Just seen this. You poor thing. How are you doing now?

Hope you’re feeling a little better, @Onthebrink67. We have sunshine here today which makes a difference.

[SparklingLime]

This is worrying, OP posted that she had COVID ten days ago and nothing since. @stayanotherday, do let us know who you’re doing if you can

[SparklingLime]

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