Thanks so much for your replies and food for thought everybody. Sorry it's happened to others. I also applied to be a Samaritans and Silverline volunteer but there were no vacancies. It is better to expect nothing from people.
Princess - it certainly is an eye opener and although very sad to discover those you thought of as good friends and used to keep in regular touch with, now it's out of sight out of mind. I'm not prepared to make all the effort and having one sided friendships anymore as I have in the past either. You just end up feeling an idiot.
Rainbow - I've told several and all of a sudden they're busy and disappear. The sad thing is this situation can happen to anybody and I won't be there for them in future. Will look into an online book club, thanks!
Moira - thanks a lot! You're right, from now on I'll be polite and professional at work but no more. Colleagues instead of friendship.
Lambchop - yes, it is hard. Fellow introvert here! We do need down time but I find left all alone we withdraw into ourselves too much. It's hard. You sound really nice and maybe just haven't met the right people.
Snuggy - the socialising certainly does drain you and it's a shame to put yourself out there when you don't get much back.
Tigger - as long as you're happy with that, that's fair.
Bee - sorry it's happened to you, they might need your friendship one day but hope you enjoy with your other friend. That's a positive!
MusicMan - sign this way! What a great idea, all up for that!
52 - yes and this is the time we need friendship more than ever.
Pye - exactly, you can't be bothered and that's what's happening these days. People wonder why they're so lonely then as nobody can be bothred. No point.
Anordinary mum - we do seem to be and it doesn't have to be like that. Yes, sadly many have agendas and the trust as well as the good will has gone. There is, books and boxsets are the way to go I think.
Bobbin - very true. So sorry and sounds like you've not found your people too. There does seem to be a sort of game where some of us aren't privy to the rules. You've tried very hard and that's something to be proud of. Glad you have a DH.
Women - good point. I grew up in a village full of families with young children and elderly people who had their own circles. I moved to a town hoping to find a better mixture of people with more going on but there's no interest and is rather unfriendly. Will look at moving again when a new job comes up.
Fox - that is a lot to deal with and any reasonable person would understand that's where you are right now. I'd like to think they'd even offer to help out, I would.
You're actually doing brilliantly being aware of this and it's hardly as if you're not bothering. You're making huge efforts by anybody's standards, let alone with everything you've got going on. Please call them. They might be lonely and thrilled to hear from you. The worst that can happen is they're not available. At least you've tried. There's nothing to lose. Could you invite them over to yours for dinner or a drink? Have a virtual pub or coffee meet? Even go food shopping with them for a catch up without the children in tow?
Good news, after only applying for four jobs so far I've already got an interview Wednesday and have bought a new dress for luck so at least that's something to keep busy.