I've wasted money and made myself obsessed.

[Marmalade414]

I've been a real idiot the last month. I'm currently wide awake as tonight was the night everything needed to stop.

I developed a strong intense crush a month ago. Was so sure the man felt the same. In my desperation I turned to a psychic who I've used before. I do trust her. She picked up he liked me and saw him opening up. She said he was recovering from a relationship though so was going to take a while to untangle things.

Then I discovered esty readers. How stupid am I! I've tried 8 this last two weeks. Absolutely every single one fed me different stuff.

I was so desperate to know. Then today I realised how stupid I've been. Nothings happened. He didn't approach me. . I left an honest review on a psychic page because she told me he'd give me his number. He didn't. She has since been private emailing me to say she will deal with my review publicly. Then she's tried to say he knows my address and just because I'm impatient doesn't mean it won't happen. Then she told me she didn't think my personality is nice like she read after all. Charming!!

Anyway I'm upset at my stupidity. But also I'm upset at how desperately obsessed I got over this man.

I went back to the psychic I trust tonight. She said a spirit is blocking him because he's too much like the men in my history. Apparently he's gone from being a sweet guy ready to open up but nervous. To abit of a player.

I'm so stupid.

Oh OP. Psychics? As if anything they say could be true. Thats no way to live your life - pure mumbo jumbo bullshit.

As Kelvin MacKenzie wrote when he sacked the Sun's psychic 'As I'm sure you will have foreseen......'

I just can't believe anyone would believe in psychics.

But I suppose they keep popping up so they must get some customers.

Don't you think if they were psychic they'd have used their abilities to be living on a South Pacific island, sipping mojitos, bring massaged by Dwayne Johnson lookalikes.

My aunt kept going to them when she was a struggling, lonely single mum.

As well as taking cash, one suggested she hand over her wedding ring (from her failed marriage) because of the bad energy around it.

Should've given her a fake for a laugh and watched her coming out of the pawn shop.

My aunt met her second husband by going out to bands/"dances" where middle aged people go and by talking to him. Imagine.

OP can you ask your friend to pass on your number to him in a casual sort of way... "This is her number, she's enjoyed chatting to you while you've been working here and you said you thought she was nice... give her a call if you're interested?"

Well what's the point of going to psychics about a romance with this man when apparently "as a mum" you don't even have time to look at him? How on earth were you expecting to further any sort of romance anyway? By him turning up at your door with his bags and his cement mixer, because a psychic laid it on his heart to?

Seriously if you want things to happen you have to make them happen. Lordy be

Ignoring the money you've spent on these con artists psychics. Why don't you write your number on a piece of paper OP? Hand it to him - and then walk away. Thats it. Thats all you have to do. Like you said, he'll be gone in a few days either way so you have nothing to lose honestly

OP have you read up on attachment styles? It sounds like you have an anxious attachment style, hence the need for psychics. Maybe have a read or watch some videos that can help you stop getting so anxious when you like someone. We’ve all been there but if it’s getting to the point you’re wasting money then you need to do some work on yourself.

@81Byerley
"The thing I've found out in my life is that things seem to happen for a reason"

The thing I've found out in my life, and that of everyone I know, is that they don't. What matters is how one faces them. It's tempting to look for patterns that don't exist, but it's also foolish.

Can't you just text your friend and tell her if he asks for your number to give him it?

OP you sound intelligent

Ah come on now....

In the kindest possible way OP, your updates and your fixation on this man and your conviction that random people who know neither of you can make this relationship happen merely by telling you what you want to hear, suggests that your current mental health state might be fragile...?

I would speak to someone you are close to in real life

Op, what the ??????
One breath you want this man to get to know you, have spent money trying to get answers, which will never happen because on you and him have the answers....

Next update is, how could you go on a date as a full time mum?!!? Eh....

What did you expect to happen? Him to knock the door, park himself on the sofa with DC and never leave again?

How did you expect to have any kind of dealing with him if you're far to busy being a single mum to actually date him?

It makes no sense?!....

@hoodathunkit, please direct me to websites of people offering this type of " therapy"

my pleasure

This is just a very tiny sample

CPD accredited training courses for counsellors and psychotherapists on how to integrate supernatural aspects into their clinical practice with vulnerable people

Shamanic Approaches in Modern Psychotherapy

With Dr Angela Cotter, Christa Mackinnon, Dr Tim Read and Laurie Slade

Saturday 9 April 2016
6.5 hours CPD credits
source:
<a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20160913180336/conferevents.org/shamanism-programme.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20160913180336/conferevents.org/shamanism-programme.html

ENERGY PSYCHOLOGY - ITS EXPLOSIVE HEALING POTENTIAL
Psychoanalytic energy therapy and transpersonal approaches
A one-day seminar led by Ruthie Smith and Dr Phil Mollon
SATURDAY 9 FEBRUARY 2013 - LONDON
note: Energy psychology is about moving qi / chi / prana (invisible energies in the human body) in order to clear blockages and restore mental and physical health. Or something. Often combined with neuro-pseudoscientific bullshit IME
6 hours CPD credits
<a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20190620143225/conferarchive.com/energy_prg.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20190620143225/conferarchive.com/energy_prg.html

Counsellors and therapists concerned that Dennis Wheatley stye satanic cults breed and murder babies and torture children and adults in order to brainwash them and give them multiple personality disorder / dissociative identity disorder can get CPD accredited training from a range of providers on how to deal with the pesky satanists, recognise the signs of satanic ritual abuse, etc.

here’s an example from the Bowlby Centre in London

Ritual Abuse and Mind Control: The Manipulation of Attachment Needs
26th September 2009
<a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20120425055326/www.thebowlbycentre.org.uk/documents/Ritualpdf_000.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20120425055326/www.thebowlbycentre.org.uk/documents/Ritualpdf_000.pdf

here’s another one, this one featuring input from Elly Hanson, one of the mental health professionals who gave credence to Carl Beech’s clearly ridiculous false allegations. Includes the following text:
"
About this Event
The aim of this weekend is to raise awareness of the problems facing survivors of organised extreme abuse who suffer from resulting Dissociative Identity Disorder.
We will have a rare opportunity to look at the inner world of a survivor of organised extreme/satanic ritual abuse, how Dissociative Identity Disorder was created from birth through the use of programming and mind control. To look at the problems experienced in escaping from abusers, and those encountered in trying to get help and support from school/NHS/Police/Social Services/Therapists.”
source:
www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/dissociative-identity-disorder-created-through-organised-extreme-abuse-tickets-71255644551#

Then there’s the Pink Therapy special event about the intersection between prostitution and psychotherapy. Or something.

The final block of text reads thus: "Pink Therapy is to be commended for organising a conference that is beyond the cutting edge. The take home message is that therapists who do sex work are often being harmed – by the field of therapy.”

archive.is/KRD1N

Should a psychotherapist also work as a sex worker? That is one question. To me the more serious issue is with therapists who combine their therapy practice with sexual contact with the client, claiming to use sex as a healing modality. This is always abusive IMO.

Speaking of which, meet The Psychic Plumber - Richard Evans Lacey UKCP - therapist who clears blockages. Or something.

His psychotherapy training and qualifications include:

UKCP registered Psychotherapist
Shamanic sexual healing
Hawaiian Huna
Reiki to level one
Completed level 1 Reiki training with Andrew Southern
Attended ‘Sexuality and character’ trainings with John Hawkin
Attended ‘Releasing sexual trauma’ workshop with Dr Shakti Malan
Commenced ‘Energy training’ with Ki Health International
<a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20160316114739/psychicplumbing.com/psychotherapy-qualifications/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20160316114739/psychicplumbing.com/psychotherapy-qualifications/

He invites you to share your sexual fantasies with him at the Erotic event at the Barbican
<a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20160316121606/psychicplumbing.com/2010/08/21/explore-your-sexual-fantasies-with-me-at-the-erotic-event-at-the-barbican-centre-on-thursday-26th-august/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20160316121606/psychicplumbing.com/2010/08/21/explore-your-sexual-fantasies-with-me-at-the-erotic-event-at-the-barbican-centre-on-thursday-26th-august/

He really is accredited with the UKCP - his listing on their website includes the following text:
“I am qualified in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and specialise in Clean Language approaches. I synthesise this with learnings from family constellations, tantra, and shamanism. I make extensive use of my intuition and energetic awareness in my sessions."

<a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20201014141050/www.psychotherapy.org.uk/therapist/richard-eric-evans-lacey/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20201014141050/www.psychotherapy.org.uk/therapist/richard-eric-evans-lacey/

If I posted all the information I have about this kind of thing here I would be here for weeks.

I'm sure there are some good counsellors and therapists out there, but there are many who promote dangerous cults, many with the best of intentions.

You're welcome

[quote WhereverIGoddamnLike]@Marmalade414

I'm really concerned about the replies you're writing. You keep going on about men are flirts, he could be a cheat, he could be flirting with and looking at girls on all his jobs, he could be a bad one etc. You've created a narrative that this guy has wronged you in some way, or is the type of man who would wrong you.

This guy hasnt done anything. He chatted to you, a friend of the woman who employed him for a job. He was nice. That's all he did.

You're the one who created this story on your head, because obsessed, spent hundreds on psychics trying to find a way to get this man and now you're saying things like he could be a cheat and a serial flirted etc.

He hasnt done anything wrong. You have no reason to feel.annoyed with him or to make up stories about him.

He is the one who should be worried about you and your obsessive behaviour over a man who has only said a handful of words to you.

Look, if you like him then ask him out. The worst that can happen is he says no and you never ever have to see him again so no embarrassment. If you dont want to ask him out then that's your choice, but stop creating a story where he is the bad guy because he hasnt asked you out so you're painting him as a flirt whi lead you on and probably does it to everyone. That's just creepy. Stop it.[/quote]
Spot on! Op really hasn't thrown off all the daft nonsense that these charlatans have been feeding her with and seems to be still allowing them to badly cloud her judgement. This poor chap has done nothing wrong apart from become the object of her obsession . ( disclaimer , he may actually be a total knob but that is nothing to do with any of these tricksters!)

@hoodathunkit, what has this to do with BACP registered counsellors in 2020? please?

@Marmalade414

I was sucked in by the Amazon reviews. But then I bet most of these I hindsight were written after reading what they wanted to hear.

I told the psychic last night who's on Tele! That I had left her 2 stars as her prediction hasn't happened. She said most people wait a couple of weeks before condoning the psychic. I said to her why do I need to wait two more weeks when the opportunity has passed and he didn't do what you said. She then got rude. Called me impatient. Said she would respond to my review publicly. I said to her instead of trying to discredit by review to save your reputation why don't you tell me as your customer why it didn't happen and why you was wrong. She said he knows where you live your just impatient. That doesn't mean he won't do it.

So she's covering her arse with oh but he will put his number through one day but she then had the power to extend the time didn't she. She could say within six months. Because let's face it. Everyone has forgotten in six months. If you don't forget then she can say the energies changed.

I can see perfectly clear now.

You were rude. If this isn't a wind up. Don't be so bloody ridiculous.

OP I'm trying to think of a kind way to say this but if a man I had been friendly to, or flirted with, was paying out hundreds of pounds on psychics to find out why I hadn't then "followed through" for want of a better term by asking him out etc then I would be very creeped out.

It would make me feel like I was being fixated on, obsessed over and boundaries were hugely being overstepped.

To second guess a strangers reasons for not having asked you out / ponder over whether they're a player, use an almost accusatory tone about him when he barely knows you is all indicative of a much deeper underlying issue.

I really think investing some money in counselling would be beneficial as it feels like you want validation from a man and are upset and angry when it isn't freely given. That starting place is a recipe for toxic relationship.

You also dismissed posters who suggested taking the initiate, saying because you have children you can't just go out for a drink. Again I'm trying to say this kindly, but you were given some proactive ideas about someone you want to date... then basically said the posters suggestions were silly because you don't have time to date.

Which makes your fixation on dating a particular person you barely know even less understandable.

I appreciate you've said now it's 'just' a crush but this is beyond that, it's concerning.

Taking the initiative that was meant to say.

What @newnameforthis123 said.

If I'd found out a bloke was going to these lengths, I'd be running a mile.

This is madness, just give him your number! If he doesn't get in touch then at least you've tried!

Thanks for making me feel like a total freak on the last couple of pages. He is unlikely to be back much now if at all. Its over and I'm moving on and stopping being addicted to esty readings. I'm hardly ready for being sectioned. I let a crush get out of hand for a couple of weeks. I don't usually develop one. It's silly. It's come in a weird year when life isn't normal. I'm sure it was just escapism. I'm not a stalker just indulged in something to give myself hope on a situation I couldn't really talk to others about.

Its over 100% it's not as concerning as you all think. I've caught on pretty quickly and I've not spent hundreds. Nowhere near! The readings on esty were all less than £5. Some were only £1

I won't be coming back to this thread now as it was helpful but has become abit unkind and that's not going to help me. But thanks to the first three pages at least. I got all I needed from your advice.

Onwards and upwards.

OP, this is puzzling. You desperately hope that this man reciprocates your crush. You hope that he will give you his number and that “this could be the start of something.” Although your friend has already mentioned that he compliments you, you don’t want her to know that you are interested and you refuse to ask her to pass along your contact details, even if he inquires. You are blocking all positive action via your friend.

I’m wondering if you have a partner.

If I had a partner why would I be hoping to date a man right outside. That's ridiculous. Not sure how that would work. I'm just shy. Not confident about how he feels. He with loads of men. We don't get the right moment to actually talk enough or get to that point. I was hoping he would make a move but he hasn't. So I'm moving on.

It wasn't my intention to make you feel like a freak, I felt it was important for you to see how far beyond the realms of healthy this obsession is and that it is absolutely not just a crush or anything near that.

I'm upset at how desperately obsessed I got over this man.

You've been angry and dismissive of people who have suggested you need to perhaps have some counselling or really think deeply about why this happened, even though you yourself felt it was serious enough to start a thread about it.

I think maybe you wanted people to say they've done similar but it is a very unusual thing to do, to the extent I genuinely think counselling would be a good idea. That's not a huge insult, loads of us have counselling when our behaviour is unhealthy or troubling - there's no shame in it.

Id laugh if it wasn’t so abhorrent! I work in a medical role and can guarantee we don’t let random strangers into the delivery suite or stop “racing to surgery” for someone to come and deliver a message.

The person who wrote this has 100% been getting ideas off the tv...

Generally, i’m quite happy to let people do whatever gives them comfort. If they choose to believe X is working for them, then grand as long as its not causing harm.

However these psychics do cause harm and they know they do. For money. Despicable.