I've wasted money and made myself obsessed.

[Marmalade414]

I've been a real idiot the last month. I'm currently wide awake as tonight was the night everything needed to stop.

I developed a strong intense crush a month ago. Was so sure the man felt the same. In my desperation I turned to a psychic who I've used before. I do trust her. She picked up he liked me and saw him opening up. She said he was recovering from a relationship though so was going to take a while to untangle things.

Then I discovered esty readers. How stupid am I! I've tried 8 this last two weeks. Absolutely every single one fed me different stuff.

I was so desperate to know. Then today I realised how stupid I've been. Nothings happened. He didn't approach me. . I left an honest review on a psychic page because she told me he'd give me his number. He didn't. She has since been private emailing me to say she will deal with my review publicly. Then she's tried to say he knows my address and just because I'm impatient doesn't mean it won't happen. Then she told me she didn't think my personality is nice like she read after all. Charming!!

Anyway I'm upset at my stupidity. But also I'm upset at how desperately obsessed I got over this man.

I went back to the psychic I trust tonight. She said a spirit is blocking him because he's too much like the men in my history. Apparently he's gone from being a sweet guy ready to open up but nervous. To abit of a player.

I'm so stupid.

If psychics had any real ability, a service would be available through a charity or on the NHS.
If he is interested, he will find a way to chat to you.

Find a reputable counsellor and book a few sessions. Ask the guy out for a coffee.

OP in the nicest way it sounds like you have developed some addictions—a man you barely know, and wasting your money on crooks.

You haven’t even gone on a date with the guy, there’s a good chance if you did you wouldn’t even like him. If it means that much to you, then just ask him if he wants to go for a glass of wine some time.

ALL PSYCHICS ARE CROOKS. seriously. They’re treating you like a mug, stealing your money and telling you what you want to hear. It’s not healthy and you need to demand some basic respect in life!! Stay away from people like this!

Trying to find this group of people so did a google search - Etsy not Esty. And here's one boasting about how she makes money on it medium.com/unlearning-to-learn/how-much-ive-made-on-esty-in-the-last-three-months-2c33d6268c10

A magician friend of mine showed me how to do a 'psychic reading' apparently there are universal statements everyone agrees with. It's all a big fat con.

As for him I've seen this a lot too - almost certainly in a relationship. Go and chat to him if you want but be ready to hear about his wife or girlfriend after he realises you like him. Men flirt and get crushes but usually make it clear they are taken if they think it's reciprocated.

Just tell your friend to offer him your number.
What a waste of money, how can these ppl possibly tell you anything about a complete stranger?
I can’t understand why your go to was a string of ‘psychics’ rather than speak to him.

Op you even had a psychic change their mind about you! And the one who decided a spirit was “blocking him” when her predictions didn’t come true. They’re basically admitting they make it all up. Remember a lot of people need money at the moment. If people will believe and pay someone who goes on Etsy claiming to be a psychic, then people will do it.

I don’t think you’re stupid as it’s very common to think being psychic is real - and of course unexplained stuff does exist which means it’s easy to believe in all kinds of other paranormal stuff that isn’t real. But you can stop wasting money and actually use what money you have to get happier instead of obsessed and unhappy. I agree with pps that reading about how “psychics” operate might help.

As long as you learn from this and stop going to psychics, there’s a silver lining.

As for the man - you can’t control whether he likes you or find out his thoughts. You just can’t, it’s a fact of life.

Forgive yourself

Yeah I have developed a stupid obessesion. But I deleted it all now and I'm stopping. I have no desire to do it anymore. If I hadn't had the readings done I wouldn't have focused on it as much as I have.

I think we've all had silly crushes before. They do feel abit heavy when you are in the thick of having one. But I'm starting to wake up.

Yes he could be alot of bad things. I appreciate your inputs on those things. I know there are plenty of cheats out there and men after sex. What can I say. He made me feel good about myself.

I will be wiser going forward.

The whole thing is bananas.

As a general rule builders and plumbers are flirty and chatty because they’re bored at work. Flirting with housewives is a perk of the job.

You don’t even know if he’s single. Even if he were he might not be looking for anything serious. Even if he were looking for something serious he might not want to take on someone else’s kids.

As he’s working for your mate and the job ends soon, she can ask him if he’s single and give him your number. If he doesn’t call you have your answer.

[quote MaliceOrgan]@Besom she absolutely IS a bad person. She's been threatening the OP by saying she 'knows' her address and saying she doesn't have a nice personality. Horrible nasty bullying response to someone vulnerable.

OP please stop trusting this charlatan (and anyone else who claims to be 'psychic'[/quote]
I thought that was a different one from the one OP 'trusts'?

I'm pointing out that even if they seem nice - they might well be nice in other areas of their life as my relatives are - it still doesn't mean they are not full of shit. They may well even believe their own shit which makes it all seem more valid. There is danger that people seperate 'nice' ones as 'trustworthy' and different to obviously deceiptful scammers. People still wasting their money which might be ok if you are having a laugh on a hen night but clearly damaging for you OP.

Xpost - good work OP. Next time just ask the bloke not 20 psychics.

I feel like he could have ten personalities after all the readings too.

It's almost as if complete strangers who ask you to give them money don't have any special insight into someone they've never met.

Anyway I'm upset at my stupidity. But also I'm upset at how desperately obsessed I got over this man

Getting over a crush is really not the urgent issue. Learning from this experience so you don't fall victim to scams in future is far more important.

Personally I would say just ask him out. If he says no you have lost nothing. There is nothing embarassing about fancying someone and being direct about it.

It's not regulated and I could should I be of such low moral fibre and greedy take a short online course and suddenly become to 'psychic' set up very easily....I don't believe in conning others though - it takes a certain type of scum to do that.

How could it be regulated? What would constitute legitimacy? Anyone who could demonstrate they were genuinely psychic would become a millionaire in weeks.

You don't need a course to do cold reading, there are loads of videos showing you how for free. I haven't practiced in 20 years but the very rare times I still do it I can fool anyone who wants to believe or struggles with critical thinking.

@Marmalade414
Psychics are just after your money, sadly.

They prey on the worried, the desperate, and the grieving.

Look up ''Derren Brown Psychic'' for how he exposes these charlatans.

It is quite appalling.

Cold reading... Internet searches, &c &c.

People consult a 'Psychic' about three main things..'Grief' over a beloved person {or animal} , Relationships, 'Health' or 'Career.'

I questioned the authenticity of them on Facebook, and one replied
''What about your Father?''

A leading question, for sure.

I didn't respond.

She offered me a free reading, which was kind, but I didn't take her up on the offer.

Look at the gazillions of Psychics and Tarot readers on you tube, they all predict different things for the same situation.

Forget the psychics. Give him your number, or if you can't get him alone, ask your friend to. Maybe he's interested, maybe he's just a flirt. One way or the other, take control of the situation and find out.

Try to move on. I second the counselling. If he is a genuine nice man try to step back a bit and develop a friendship. Either ask him out or simply be available.

Not knowing what will happen is part of life. If you knew everything it would be both boring and, probably, scary some times. And you 'd probably be trying to change bits! We all would!

If you feel the new for something 'spiritual', lots of churches have services on zoom you can plug into.

Whatever it is you are searching for, one man won't be the whole answer so take your time and value yourself.

You are not stupid.

I’ve seen the live audience ones exposed, when you book tickets online they have researchers who comb your online presence and then ensure you get chosen in the audience and the performer is fed all your info on his earpieces.
It’s all about £££

These people are chancers and liars, don’t waste your money. Some of them believe their own nonsense but the majority just want your money and/or see it as a bit of lighthearted fun and expect that’s how you should see it too.

Maybe a laugh on a night out (already questionable) or a holiday, but not serious professionals you should engage with about serious life issues.

@MyTelescopeBroke

You're be better off spending the money on counselling. And I mean that sincerely.

These people will tell you what you want to hear so that you return and pay to hear more of the same.

No one can possibly know the thoughts, feelings and motivations of others. Especially as many people aren't even clear about it themselves!

@Marmalade414

Really sage advice here.... /\

Crushes are 'Obsessions' ...and my goodness they can be powerful..

BUT...{Big but} They are not rooted in reality.

I had a humongous crush on a man once...It was painful...But I saw him in person and notices something really minor about his clothing, and for some reason my 'fantasy' evaporated like mist in the sun!

{I was young then}

The last 'Crush' {Obsession} I had was very painful too... but I think some of us are drawn to 'fantasy' relationships...Not based in reality.

Hopefully I am beyond crushes these days, {older} but Counselling would be a better bet than seeing a psychic, for sure.

I used to walk past my 'Crushes' house, half hoping to catch a glimpse...Yet dreading to be spotted !

Even now, when visiting mum, I walk past the house he and his family lived in, and it brings back that sharp yearning of being 16 .

Leave your details with your friend and if he is really interested he will call!(without his mates listening)

This.

Bear in mind lots of attached men flirt (and sometimes cheat) with women they encounter when they're out working on jobs in/around their homes.

Workman/bored house-wife sex is a traditional genre in porn for a reason. Some men like to believe all housewives, single or not, are just gagging for sex with a bit o rough builder/plumber/repairman etc.

Oh come on op, all this time and money spent? And you're not going to do anything about it?!
Nooooo....absolutely not! Op, dont let this one go because of your confidence, grab life by the horns!

Give your number to friend to casually give to him, if you dont want friends involved, sod that - go over. Dont think about it, out your front door, straight over to him (who cares about his colleagues?!) And say "hi. I need to borrow you for a quick word" and take him to one side.

Whats the worse that can happen?

Once he's with you, a nice, simple.

"Hi, im Marmalade, ive noticed you a few times across the road. If you want to go for a drink sometimes, this is me."

And press a piece of paper with your number into his hand.

Turn heels and walk back into your house and hide for the next 24 hours

Congratulate yourself for taking initiative and being brave. Have a cup of tea and do something for you and put it to the back of your mind.

Absolutely do not leave this now you've put yourself through all this.

And leave the physics alone. You weren't looking for answers, you were looking for someone to tell you, that you didn't have to do anything to get the guy.

This isn't about anything other than your own confidence.

Oh and BTW, they know nothing of his personality. He might be a complete arsehole, but he almost might be the next big thing.

And I'll tell you what, only you can find that out, nobody else can tell you that.

(Ps. Also remember that most working men won't approach a single lady living across the road, as its just not the acceptable thing to do. They could get in trouble with work, the husband, be accused of harassment, loose thier job, any number of things. Do not expect the work man from across the road to make the first move)

@Marmalade414

I don't get the opportunity to ask those questions because he's always with other men. It's not the easiest thing to do. Sometimes when they are further away he gets more confident. But only for a minute. It just isn't an option to stride over and ask him how he feels. How humiliating with all his mates stood smoking and listening.

Otherwise yes I would ask.

@Marmalade414 Oddly a friend recently saw a very handsome man working in ''A gang of blokes'' like this, close to friend's home.

One was very smiley and actually did call at friend's door!

So...if they are keen, they will try to make contact.

My friend declined the offer, however... Thought it far too risky, and chap might be married &c, but it was flattering.

If a bloke is really into you, he will make contact.

@Marmalade414

I'm really concerned about the replies you're writing. You keep going on about men are flirts, he could be a cheat, he could be flirting with and looking at girls on all his jobs, he could be a bad one etc. You've created a narrative that this guy has wronged you in some way, or is the type of man who would wrong you.

This guy hasnt done anything. He chatted to you, a friend of the woman who employed him for a job. He was nice. That's all he did.

You're the one who created this story on your head, because obsessed, spent hundreds on psychics trying to find a way to get this man and now you're saying things like he could be a cheat and a serial flirted etc.

He hasnt done anything wrong. You have no reason to feel.annoyed with him or to make up stories about him.

He is the one who should be worried about you and your obsessive behaviour over a man who has only said a handful of words to you.

Look, if you like him then ask him out. The worst that can happen is he says no and you never ever have to see him again so no embarrassment. If you dont want to ask him out then that's your choice, but stop creating a story where he is the bad guy because he hasnt asked you out so you're painting him as a flirt whi lead you on and probably does it to everyone. That's just creepy. Stop it.

@oakleaffy

Who are "they"? Are all workmen the same? All the same confidence?

I thought they were all individuals. If one workman asks a woman out by popping over to chap her door, will they all do the same? That's an unusual way to think; assuming all workmen will behave the same way towards a woman they kinda like.

It's not regulated and I could should I be of such low moral fibre and greedy take a short online course and suddenly become to 'psychic' set up very easily....I don't believe in conning others though - it takes a certain type of scum to do that.

In fact there are all kinds of dodgy organisations claiming to accredit psychics, mediums, past life regression therapists and the like.

Possibly the oldest established organisation in the UK is the College of Psychic Studies

below links via the WayBack Machine

It offers consultations in a diverse range of woo woo including:

Akashic Records
Angelic Messages
Astrology
Crystal Healing
Energy Work
Healing
Healing Supervision
Intuitive Coaching
Numerology
Palmistry
Past Life
Psychic Art/Spirit Portraits
Psychic and Mediumship
Remote Viewing
Shamanism
Soul Plan
Tarot
Trance
Probationer Consultants
Visiting Consultants
Skype Reading
Telephone Reading
Sound Healing

source
<a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20190714204333/www.collegeofpsychicstudies.co.uk/consultations" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20190714204333/www.collegeofpsychicstudies.co.uk/consultations

and training in some out there stuff including

Introductory: Personal and Spiritual Development
Angels and Guides
Art
Astrology and Magic
College Integrated Healing Diploma Course
Crystals
Energy and Spirit Release
Energy Work Essentials
Horse Healing
Inspirational & Automatic Writing
Lenormand Oracle Cards
Men's Circle
Numerology
Palmistry
Past Lives
Psychic Development
Psychic & Mediumship: Foundation
Psychic & Mediumship: Intermediate
Psychic & Mediumship: Advanced
Psychometry
Scrying
Shadow
Shamanism
Spirit Writing Circle
Tarot
Tibetan Spiritual and Healing Practices
Trance
Daytime Courses
Saturday Courses
Sunday Courses
Meditation and Mindfulness
Timelines
Recognise & Clear Negative Energy
Feng Shui

source
<a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20190714204319/www.collegeofpsychicstudies.co.uk/courses" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20190714204319/www.collegeofpsychicstudies.co.uk/courses

OP - I have developed obsessions...I sympathise.

It usually happened when I felt vulnerable and / or alone.

Please step away from the 'psychics', ANY 'psychic' - it is not safe to trust someone like this.

Look to your own life and friends, and MN, for support.

Get yourself out of the house and walk, walk, walk. Cook simple but healthy homemade food, nourish yourself - i.e demonstrate to yourself that the person you trust and value is YOU. And invest time in the care of yourself, with fresh air, proper reading, good healthy wholesome food, or whatever you enjoy. Buy flowers or a plant and put it on your table. Call a friend and meet for a drink.

Take care and good luck.

Many well meaning posters here have suggested that the OP should consult a counsellor or therapist instead.

I would advise extreme caution in this respect as many BACP and UKCP accredited counsellors and therapists combine their counselling and therapy with tarot cards, astrology, "shamanism", past life regression, reiki etc.

The OP said in an earlier post that there was a spirit blocking her crush's connection to her.

My advice would be that any mention of "blockages" should be a red flag, whether it is a psychic of a counsellor or therapist.

The cleansing / purging / clearing of "blockages" is usually simply the entrance to a rabbit hole of abuse and exploitation of a vulnerable person