I've wasted money and made myself obsessed.

[Marmalade414]

I've been a real idiot the last month. I'm currently wide awake as tonight was the night everything needed to stop.

I developed a strong intense crush a month ago. Was so sure the man felt the same. In my desperation I turned to a psychic who I've used before. I do trust her. She picked up he liked me and saw him opening up. She said he was recovering from a relationship though so was going to take a while to untangle things.

Then I discovered esty readers. How stupid am I! I've tried 8 this last two weeks. Absolutely every single one fed me different stuff.

I was so desperate to know. Then today I realised how stupid I've been. Nothings happened. He didn't approach me. . I left an honest review on a psychic page because she told me he'd give me his number. He didn't. She has since been private emailing me to say she will deal with my review publicly. Then she's tried to say he knows my address and just because I'm impatient doesn't mean it won't happen. Then she told me she didn't think my personality is nice like she read after all. Charming!!

Anyway I'm upset at my stupidity. But also I'm upset at how desperately obsessed I got over this man.

I went back to the psychic I trust tonight. She said a spirit is blocking him because he's too much like the men in my history. Apparently he's gone from being a sweet guy ready to open up but nervous. To abit of a player.

I'm so stupid.

These people don't have any special powers, and most of them know it. The ones who believe they do are delusional.
Google 'cold reading'
One of these charlatans recently preyed on a friend of mine, and he's ended up believing a dead relative spoke to him and it has negatively affected his mental health.

There was an interesting book someone wrote about similar services which might resonate with you. www.amazon.co.uk/Psychic-Junkie-Memoir-Sarah-Lassez/dp/1416918388?tag=mumsnetforu03-21 It can even be a form OCD takes.

Do you tend to feel anxious about the future or about situations? Maybe therapy would help you.

I'd advise whenever you get the urge to contact a psychic, remind yourself of what you've written here. You could write down all the reasons you know it's bollox and the downsides of doing it, and look at the list when you get the urge to have a reading. Best wishes. xxx

And yet you still have a psychic you trust....

This is literally all bullshit. I don’t think it’s a good idea to pursue this guy, I do however think it’s a very good idea indeed to look into some serious therapy.

@Besom she absolutely IS a bad person. She's been threatening the OP by saying she 'knows' her address and saying she doesn't have a nice personality. Horrible nasty bullying response to someone vulnerable.

OP please stop trusting this charlatan (and anyone else who claims to be 'psychic'

People may think they are psychic, but they can’t prove it. So if they charge money, they are scamming you. If you pay them once, they will keep stringing you along.

Have you spoken to this man, tried to get to know him better and see if anything develops? It’s the only way to find out.

Don’t feel stupid. We all make mistakes. Shame on those like your ‘psychic’ who take advantage.

Thank you. I'm not normally like this. I'm normally just happy and get on with my days. It's ridiculous. I have spoken to him yes. He's working for my friend over the road and he's been flirty and chatty to me. But he's not doing the same to her. My friend doesnt know how I feel because I really don't want to be discussing anything silly about crushes with her. Especially about a man working for her. I haven't been able to pluck up courage and go over to him. He's always with other men. It's hit and miss when I see him. but he seemed really into me and I felt like we both just knew it was something. My friend did say he had been talking about me to her right at the start of my crush. But back then I just laughed it off.

But then I started thinking about my life and how uneventful it has been this year. It's obvious why 2020 hasnt been the best.

But I lost myself in the idea of maybe this could be the start of something. I visioned us chatting and stuff. But I have children so I expected it to be a gradual slow process. I hoped he would be looking for something similar.

There have been times he's been looking at me with the biggest smile on his face and it's like he's frozen. But then he never comes any closer to leaving a number. I really can't bring myself to go over to him. Especially because I have my kid with me alot. I feel so stuck.

I think he might be there a couple more days. But then he will be gone for good. So I have started gearing myself up to forget about it.

I think he's possibly about ten years older than me. So I half hoped he would be more prepared to come forward. But perhaps he doesn't even want too.

I just felt convinced and got desperate. The messages have all been mixed. He's gone from good. To shy. To a player. To not interested. To bad. One said id fall pregnant by him. So ive been truly fooled.

The lady emailing me last night was really rude. I have definitely been played by all of them. I have been burned and will never go back. I've deleted my esty account

Op. With respect, this is utterly bonkers.

I don't think this is about him, I think this is a reaction to stress, feeling low etc
Try to discount the psychic thing, they are not real- and they have played on your need for security and knowing something good is going to happen. Write them off as a scam, and as you say, delete the accounts - as for the man, let him go - in a few weeks you will think ' god that was all mad'
I really think this is a stress and depression reaction/obsession

I think it's stress and craving excitement. I have been a full on idiot. Sometimes you just want to feel there's more don't you. I did genuinely feel that he was really interested and perhaps abit shy. But neither of us are doing anything about it so it has to go. I feel like he could have ten personalities after all the readings too.

I know it's bonkers. I can't believe i let myself get to this point.

OP - this man could be married. He could be gay. He could have a long-term partner.He might find you interesting/nice/fun. He might fancy you. He might enjoy you fancying him/the ego boost.
He might be a player. He might be an utter cunt.
But what is certain in this situation is that psychics are con artists and there is nothing genuine about any of them.

But neither of us are doing anything about it so it has to go. I feel like he could have ten personalities after all the readings too.

The readings are bollocks, with all due respect. You’re doing this man a disservice by attributing any of what these people said about him to his actual personality because they made it all up!

I also don’t particularly understand why you weren’t remotely abashed at seeking the guidance of multiple charlatans to tell you what you wanted to hear about a future relationship with a stranger, but can’t bring yourself to actually speak to him and find out if he’s remotely interested in you? Honestly, why is that conversation so hard to have? If he says he’s not then what’s the worst that’s going to happen, he’ll still be gone and out of your life forever but at least you’ll know 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Krazynights34

Yeah he won't be gay. But yes to all the other things. I would have liked to have found out. But yeah they are usually players men. Not usually a knight in shining armour over the road. They wants anything real.

I do know deep down. It just for a while felt like the start of something.

Did you post about this the other day and were considering putting your number on the cement mixer? Using the psychics has been an expensive lesson unfortunately. The only way to know if he’s interested is to ask him out! What’s the worst that can happen? He says no, you won’t combust on the spot! Either give it go or move on, it’s not healthy to be so fixated on someone like this!

Absolute madness.
He’s just a normal bloke who is doing a job and if he sees someone he fancies, such as you, he smiles at them And cracks on with working. He probably hasn’t got time to down tools and come and chat so bob off the psychic mumbl jumbo , pluck up the courage to talk to him and give him your number saying you’d like to meet up when he’s free. Simple

I don't get the opportunity to ask those questions because he's always with other men. It's not the easiest thing to do. Sometimes when they are further away he gets more confident. But only for a minute. It just isn't an option to stride over and ask him how he feels. How humiliating with all his mates stood smoking and listening.

Otherwise yes I would ask.

@Brieminewine

Nope this is my first time posting about him. He doesn't have a cement mixer either.

My friend got obsessed with her boss. A psychic told her that they were linked through previous lives and they would end up married. In the end he had to fire her due to her stalking and weird behaviour. She acted like she was his wife instead of his employee. All thanks to believing a psychic.

Please don't use them anymore. You need to live your life without trying to forsee it. It either doesn't exist or doesn't work.

I think psychics are charlatans and fakers, sorry.

The only way you'd know of he's interested in you is asking via your friend (which she may not want to do if she's interested in him) or approaching him yourself.

However - I would stress that some workmen are in flirt mode when they're working around women, do it as standard, and may not even be single.

So the one you trust may not be a bad person exactly but she is just guessing at things.

She's taking money from people for guesswork, playing on their insecurities. She is awful, a lying scam artist like all psychics.

You sound very bored, lonely, maybe depressed and fixating on this bloke .... But he may well not be single and even if he is, he may well not be interested in a relationship. Even then you shouldn't have all your eggs in one basket for your social life and happiness with a relationship. Sounds like you need to see what you could do to expand your hobbies, activities, social life etc., Not easy at the moment but nonetheless you can see if there's anything you can do, or plan to do in future.

Leave your details with your friend and if he is really interested he will call!(without his mates listening)

Learn from the experience so it hasn't been a waste of your time and money.

I've done stupid stuff and after much regrets - repeated the same mistakes. Fool me once etc.

@charliebear78

Leave your details with your friend and if he is really interested he will call!(without his mates listening)

I was about to post literally this.

Or just tell your mate you like him and ask her to put the feelers out.

It's not embarrassing- it's just life. If he's not keen, so what? Not like you flashed your knickers at him

I can't believe Etsy does that either! Agree with idea of leaving your number with your friend.

I'm not depressed. Abit bored and abit if a dick head yes. But not depressed. I'll be fine when I'm over it. I appreciate all your replies so thanks. Certainly not going to become a crazy stalker about it. I just thought he liked me and got feelings that's all. But I also am aware that men are flirts in some cases and he might be checking out women on all jobs. My friend doesnt want him she's married. She told me he was talking about me to her when he had spoke to me twice. Said how nice he thought I was. But who knows. Maybe he o my meant is as chatty and stuff.

I am ready to forget about it. I just need a few days to unmuddle it all. But today I feel acceptance which is a great start?

I don't normally get crushes either. So this is out of the blue for me. Not many men impress me with first impressions.