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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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To think dp is making a mug out of me?

308 replies

BritishIdiot · 13/10/2020 18:05

Bit of background, dp and I have been together almost 5 years, we have 2dc. We don't live together - his choice entirely. He decided to buy a house last year when I was pregnant for his older son and they now both live in it, but that's a whole other thread! (Please bare in mind his son contributes towards the mortgage and bills.)

He earns well in advance of 50k. I work part time and rely on tax credits. He does contribute reasonably towards the dc every month.

He works Monday to Thursday nights, will sleep at his house until he wakes then comes to mine for a few hours until he leaves for work, he will stay at weekend too.

Anyway now to the point! He contributes very very little towards bills and food. He puts the heating on, has showers, always always cooking something. He can't have cereal for breakfast and something light for lunch, it has to be a fry up then something cooked for lunch like fajitas or he'll eat leftovers I'm saving, then a cooked dinner, followed by eating most of the cake I made oh with ice cream etc. He'll make his lunch for work (leaving us a stale crust and finishing the ham), will eat what we're eating for dinner then take plenty to work (I like to save some to freeze for lazy days!) He'll use bottles of mayo, jars of jam, blocks of butter, packets and packets of biscuits, he eats the kids snacks constantly plus takes them to work, drinks their fruit juice, eats their yoghurt, drinks the cans of drink I buy for my teenager, it's honestly never ever ending. Always helps himself to seconds of dinner, will put the biggest steak on his plate etc. I even buy his beer!! I pay for all of this, all the bills, the rent, all the food and drinks, everything. He contributes £100 a month - IF I ask several times. This month I got nothing as it was our dds birthday so his money went towards that apparently, but yet I still spend hundreds a month on food and he's still eating it.

I've mentioned it to him he says "so you're charging me for eating a packet of crisps and boiling the kettle are you? I bought the pizza last week."

AIBU to think he's a freeloading piss take or am I just bitter???

OP posts:
aSofaNearYou · 17/10/2020 13:17

Just seen your update, SO glad for you OP!

ColleagueFromMars · 17/10/2020 14:43

I'm so proud of you! Flowers

He will try to change the narrative. What support could you get in place that would help you to stay strong?

Others have suggested he may pull the suicide card. If he does, please ring the police and hand over all responsibility to them.

JamieLeeCurtains · 17/10/2020 16:58

I'm sorry, OP.

I honestly thought this couldn't be real at first.

If you want any advice with CMS (child maintenance service) or family court (contact arrangements) please ask. I had to go through it myself, self-representing.

Krampusasbabysitter · 17/10/2020 21:24

Bloody well done OP! Just carry on tackling each day one at a time. The biggest step is to make that first move.

Aria999 · 17/10/2020 22:02

Good! Like others have said I am sure he will jerk you around, don't let him. You've got this.

Weenurse · 17/10/2020 23:34

Well done 💐

Jokie · 26/10/2020 15:30

Well done OP. Hope it's all going ok

willowmelangell · 13/06/2021 18:09

@BritishIdiot I might have missed an update OP. How are you?

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