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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP cross there's no food

999 replies

droopyears · 06/10/2020 19:24

My DP of 4 years has just had a go at me because there is no food in the house. He doesn't actually live with me.
He knows I do my food shopping on a Wednesday so am usually pretty low on a Tuesday.
He seemed really cross that there wasn't a huge menu of snacks available Confused
I just wanted to vent really

OP posts:
chipolte · 12/10/2020 22:58

Long term, your youngest will be far better off. Your D.C. will have more time with you, more money spent on their needs and will feel like you put them first.

newnameforthis123 · 12/10/2020 22:59

@droopyears

I'm not sure how my youngest will react as they are extremely attached. After he stormed off back home by eldest actually said to me I don't understand why someone his age behaves like a baby Hmm
Well I bloody love your son, what a clever lad! Little one will be fine, you'll be happier and there will be more of everything to go round - food, money and most importantly their mum being happy!
PerveenMistry · 12/10/2020 23:00

God, he sounds like a completely selfish asshole. A selfish user who finds women to take care of his needs. Ugh.

This is one more example of why kids shouldn't be exposed to lone parents' boyfriends and girlfriends.

excelledyourself · 12/10/2020 23:08

@PerveenMistry

God, he sounds like a completely selfish asshole. A selfish user who finds women to take care of his needs. Ugh.

This is one more example of why kids shouldn't be exposed to lone parents' boyfriends and girlfriends.

That's uncalled for. How long should parents remain lone parents for, in your eyes?

There are plenty of decent step parents out there. Some of them a hell of a lot better than the actual parents. The majority started out as boyfriends/girlfriends of a single/lone parent.

jay55 · 12/10/2020 23:16

I find it shocking he came round and decided to dominate your main room on a solo activity. What a cock.

PickAChew · 12/10/2020 23:17

@PerveenMistry

God, he sounds like a completely selfish asshole. A selfish user who finds women to take care of his needs. Ugh.

This is one more example of why kids shouldn't be exposed to lone parents' boyfriends and girlfriends.

In fairness. OP said they had been together 4 years. It's not like she had moved him in after 4 weeks. Lone parents are allowed a private life and it's not like droopy is guilty of rushing this.
imgoingtoeatthatmuffin · 12/10/2020 23:28

So he came over to your house to eat your food and play games again, and at no point did you say to him 'don't come over unless you're sorting food'.

I'm glad you're getting rid of him now op but you really need to stop being such a doormat before dating anyone else. Over the course of 4 years your kids have learned that women cook and clean and men do nothing.

BlueThistles · 12/10/2020 23:31

OP you're doing the right thing .. for you and for your kids... this man has been leeching off of you guys for 48 long months ... good on you for seeing through him 🌺

TwentyViginti · 12/10/2020 23:37

@imgoingtoeatthatmuffin

So he came over to your house to eat your food and play games again, and at no point did you say to him 'don't come over unless you're sorting food'.

I'm glad you're getting rid of him now op but you really need to stop being such a doormat before dating anyone else. Over the course of 4 years your kids have learned that women cook and clean and men do nothing.

OP sounds a great parent except for this constant doormatting for a man.
burglarbettybaby · 12/10/2020 23:41

He sits on his ass playing a new computer game GrinGrinGrin
Lives at his mum's buy goes to yours for dinner and sex...

Then doesnt let your child play.

Oh for fuck sake

nickelbabe · 12/10/2020 23:42

@droopyears

His Mum will never kick him out (despite what she says)

Yes I'm absolutely raging that he behaved like that with my DC tonight, all hell would break loose if I treated one of his DC that way

I've told my DC I'll take them out for dinner tomorrow night, and to be honest I can't wait

Please make sure your house is locked in such a way he can't use his key while you're out.

I'm rather worried for your safety

Nanny0gg · 13/10/2020 00:01

@droopyears

I do know that his Mum was in an awful mood this weekend and at one point told him that he needed to move out Hmm
Wonder why?

She's obviously had a bellyful of him too.

Frappuccinofan · 13/10/2020 00:19

It must be hard to fight the urge to text him and tell him it’s over!

I 100% agree that you need to secure your house, whether that’s leaving a key in the door or changing your locks. You need to be upfront and say he’s not allowed to let himself in and you don’t want him randomly turning up.

BusterGonad · 13/10/2020 00:43

This is one of the most frustrating threads I've ever read. Your poor kids op, all that money you've spent in feeding that wanker could've gone on something nice for them, they've had to put up with that prick too. And yet you still can't see what a prick he is. He'll be back. I bet he took his key with him too.

REignbow · 13/10/2020 01:29

@droopyears so he bought a consol over and proceeded to play it in your home whilst you cooked him a meal that you bought...

He was horrible and spiteful to eldest DC and flounced when you pulled him up on it.

Can you not see how awful he is?

Porridgeoat · 13/10/2020 02:10

What a tit

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/10/2020 03:13

Thank goodness you’ve got to the point, where you can see it’s time to split. Perhaps the reason he and your youngest were so attached is because they have a similar mental age. I also think you need to change the locks. He let himself in before when you were out.

lurkingattheback · 13/10/2020 06:17

Your youngest may adore him, but you don't want him becoming like him do you? Your eldest will understand you're making the break for him as well as you. No doubt the BF is expecting you to weaken, apologise and everything go back to how it was. He's underestimated you.

Clutterbugsmum · 13/10/2020 06:47

will spend the next few days working out what to do with his belongings etc

I suggest bin bags dumped on his parents doorstep, change your locks as he will never give up your food his keys. Block his number from yours and your DC phones so he can not emotional blackmail you too take him back because of whatever 'stress' he's under is making him act like this.

I can see why his marriage broke up, you should be grateful you are not married to him and live with him.

KatherineJaneway · 13/10/2020 06:58

Don't forget to change the lock/s.

Bag up his stuff and drop it at his mum's when you know he won't be there. Job done.

Weenurse · 13/10/2020 08:00

Your eldest is very perceptive

EnjoyingTheSilence · 13/10/2020 08:02

Why on earth did he bother coming over if all he was going to do was play on his console. Oh yes, he needed dinner cooking.

I can see why you are now ready to ltb. What a twat

LannieDuck · 13/10/2020 08:05

Have you said anything to him about how he needs to contribute to the food bill and cooking? (and cleaning, presumably)

LilyLongJohn · 13/10/2020 08:11

Did he have tea?

droopyears · 13/10/2020 08:22

@LilyLongJohn No he left whilst dinner was still cooking

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