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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DP cross there's no food

999 replies

droopyears · 06/10/2020 19:24

My DP of 4 years has just had a go at me because there is no food in the house. He doesn't actually live with me.
He knows I do my food shopping on a Wednesday so am usually pretty low on a Tuesday.
He seemed really cross that there wasn't a huge menu of snacks available Confused
I just wanted to vent really

OP posts:
LivingDeadGirlUK · 12/10/2020 20:45

Well it sounds like your rid of him now, get your locks changed if you haven't already, and get his stuff boxed up and dropped off. Then enjoy having one less child to look after.

AlwaysCheddar · 12/10/2020 20:59

Get your key, get his stuff out and don’t look back.

picosandsancerre · 12/10/2020 21:17

Wait for him to tell you that its your fault that he left as you told him to if he wanted. You have asked for space and his behaviour on return is to behave like this. I was hoping he might have brought flowers, apologised and brought some food to make a meal. But nope a games console

AcrossthePond55 · 12/10/2020 21:23

First and foremost, change your locks or lock barrel. Don't bother contacting him to ask for your key back.

You do know his 'flounce' is a ploy to get you to 'beg' him to come back (on his own terms), right? So I agree with others to bag/box his stuff up and take it to his mum's or to his work and just drop it off. No further discussion is needed. You owe him no explanations.

JimmyJabs · 12/10/2020 21:32

He's got shit timing, hasn't he? After a weekend when his mum told him he needed to sling his hook, he should have been round to yours with a huge bag of groceries and a massive apology, and be going all out to be nice to you and your kids. But he's such a petulant wanker that he can't even bring himself to behave nicely when it's in his own interests. What a tool.

mummmy2017 · 12/10/2020 21:37

Just read this and smiled.
So if your DP doesn't get his own way, fed watered and shagged he gets annoyed and goes home.
Yep you have three teenagers.

excelledyourself · 12/10/2020 21:47

He tried to guilt trip you into letting him come over last week when you expressly said you needed space. Then completely disregarded your instruction not to enter your home and collect his things. Yet when asked to play nice while his chicken dinosaurs and smiley faces are being made, he throws a complete bitch fit and storms out.

His time in your home is all on his terms.

I'll stop posting now. I just can't believe someone is this entitled and brazen.

picklemewalnuts · 12/10/2020 21:53

Very lucky he didn't keep the act up a bit longer. You may have let him move in 'while he was looking for somewhere else' because 'his mum was being so unreasonable and hard to live with'.

RedToothBrush · 12/10/2020 22:00

@droopyears

I do know that his Mum was in an awful mood this weekend and at one point told him that he needed to move out Hmm
That or he's trying it on to move in with you full time.

Make sure you get the locks changed now so you don't have to deal with when he lays the guilt trip on you about how he's got no where to live.

RedToothBrush · 12/10/2020 22:01

@AcrossthePond55

First and foremost, change your locks or lock barrel. Don't bother contacting him to ask for your key back.

You do know his 'flounce' is a ploy to get you to 'beg' him to come back (on his own terms), right? So I agree with others to bag/box his stuff up and take it to his mum's or to his work and just drop it off. No further discussion is needed. You owe him no explanations.

^ This
MzHz · 12/10/2020 22:08

Honestly, you actually want to shag this massive baby?

Come on! You know he’s an absolute prick now, your kid will learn that Mum deserves better than this manbaby

How else do you think your kids will learn what a decent relationship looks like

Don’t Stay with an idiot because of the kids, LTB because of the kids

forrestgreen · 12/10/2020 22:13

Did he turn up with groceries or money for food tonight, or did he presume he'd have free food, WiFi and electric at your house?

Original poster
droopyears · 12/10/2020 22:20

@forrestgreen He turned up empty handed (other than his console)

OP posts:
Isthisit22 · 12/10/2020 22:22

Wow, he really doesn't give a shit about you.
Please don't give him anymore chances and take some time out to raise your relationship bar

chipolte · 12/10/2020 22:33

OP, I’ve read the entire thread and have found it so upsetting. You sound like a loving mum but getting rid of ‘DP’ will have a far bigger impact on your kids mental health and wellbeing than their sports or anything else. They really don’t deserve what they’re having to put up with.

If his mum kicks him out, he will try every trick in the book to get you on side, eg Buying food for a bit, marriage proposal etc.

Change those locks, put all his stuff in a box and END IT.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 12/10/2020 22:34

I think he's just very selfish and inconsiderate. I imagine he does care about you and your children but you all come second to him and what he wants.

I think younger people can improve when they are clearly told how they are acting is affecting others but I think it's harder for older people as they are more set in their ways.

Xiaoxiong · 12/10/2020 22:38

Wow when I saw that his mum might kick him out, I thought he'd be in there buttering you up, buying shopping and giving you some money to convince you he was responsible enough to let him move in. He can't even keep the act up enough to get his feet properly under the table.

Kick him to the curb, OP. You must be seething - I'm seething for you!

and a great chance to explain to your DS that nobody treats you, or him, so badly and gets to stay in your lives.

AdoraBell · 12/10/2020 22:46

So he’s really showing his true colours now.

When he starts to guilt trip you and demands a “good” reason to dump him, nothing will be valid from his point of view, you don’t need a reason. It isn’t working for you, so it’s over. And stick to your guns.

PickAChew · 12/10/2020 22:47

You definitely need to be honest with the kids. No need to go into detail, just be clear that "I didn't like the way he treated us". They will identify with the shit bits from this.

Original poster
droopyears · 12/10/2020 22:48

His Mum will never kick him out (despite what she says)

Yes I'm absolutely raging that he behaved like that with my DC tonight, all hell would break loose if I treated one of his DC that way

I've told my DC I'll take them out for dinner tomorrow night, and to be honest I can't wait

OP posts:
TwentyViginti · 12/10/2020 22:49

More of the same. I feel sorry for your DC.

PaterPower · 12/10/2020 22:50

So he had £48+ (depending on the version) to spend on FIFA but can’t shell out to replace the food he’s eating at yours?

Life’s good when you have two women subsidisIng your life!

Original poster
droopyears · 12/10/2020 22:50

I'm not sure how my youngest will react as they are extremely attached. After he stormed off back home by eldest actually said to me I don't understand why someone his age behaves like a baby Hmm

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 12/10/2020 22:52

@droopyears

I'm not sure how my youngest will react as they are extremely attached. After he stormed off back home by eldest actually said to me I don't understand why someone his age behaves like a baby Hmm
If your eldest is saying that, your youngest might surprise you and get it more than you realise. Especially if he realises he gets more of your time and money!
wheretoyougonow · 12/10/2020 22:56

Well done on your decision. Your children will be fine. If they ask you can say it wasn't working (because he acts like a babyGrin)
Any break up is hard though. I hope you are ok and it's OK to feel sad once the anger wears off. Just don't go backwards Thanks

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