To leave France

[CroissantMuncher]

I have a DP (French) I love and a job that is deeply unfulfilling but pays well. We live in France and I can now apply for citizenship: it will take 2 years for that to be processed.

I am bilingual so there is no language issue. I just find myself missing living in the UK for lots of reasons. I feel like I'm done with france and what I would actually like to do is go back to the UK and retrain in psychology.

I'm 34. All my family and friends in the UK say I'm mad, France is so much better (whilst they still live in the UK....), that I'm throwing away my chance at an EU passport post Brexit, that I'm throwing away my relationship (he refuses to move).

I really dont know what to do. On the one hand settled life with DP in France. On the other hand change career and go back to UK. Part of me thinks I could regret leaving so close to getting citizenship. Another part of me thinks life is short.

Anyone been in a similar quandary or have any thoughts?

[quote CroissantMuncher]@Wallywobbles Nope unfortunately I dont have a science or related degree! I already have an (unrelated) Masters which is why I'm kind of reluctant to go down the french BA route all over again. I would prefer a more "professionnalisant" structure like in the UK.

Realise I can't have it all though which is why the decision is so hard!

I dont want to look back in 20 years and think "if only I'd stuck it out an extra 2 years in france".

Equally though I dont want to sit around ruminating while my 30s go by...[/quote]
Yes, we will be considered overseas students but fortunately in the OU prices are the same whether you are home or overseas.

Do you have dc? We are facing having to go back or paying overseas fees for our dc when they go to uni, which would be a non-starter for us.

Kind of gutted tbh.

I'm just going to put this in bold and post again as it could be an important factor for OP!

The rules on the professional doctorate have changed from this year - you'll need to be ordinarily resident in the UK for three years before applying.

@tammy909

I'm just going to put this in bold and post again as it could be an important factor for OP!

The rules on the professional doctorate have changed from this year - you'll need to be ordinarily resident in the UK for three years before applying.

Where did you get this info from? Can you share please? Is is true for all doctorates or just specific fields?

Because if she gets citizenship she can live anywhere in the EU

Not particularly useful if you prefer to live in the UK gwen and certainly not worth wasting another two years plus of your life when you are hitting your mid thirties.

If op has no intention of having a family then it is fine to wait it out for years, and time is not especially important, but if she would like children - time is of the essence. Particularly as she seems far from settled with her dp in and his home region, and is not certain she wants to stay there.

@Friendsoftheearth
I completely agree with you re the socialising. I just feel like one of the things the UK has going for it that maybe people dont appreciate is a very fluid approach to social life. So even in villages you get your pub quizzes and various groups. I've lived in lots of cities in France and the UK too, and I miss that energy you get in British cities where you have all sorts of kind of "random" groups and activities happening most nights of the week. In France I find friendships and socialising are much more linear. People stay home more and stick to their circles!

Thanks for your words of encouragement 😊

@tammy909
Yes I just saw that on the gov site!

If you move back to the UK for several months you risk resetting the citizenship clock to zero. Not sure how long you can afford to be out of the country but definitely check.

@Friendsoftheearth
It's so difficult to know about kids, because I dont feel I want them. Having said that, is that because I'm not particularly loving being in this region and my work? Maybe if my life were different I would. But I guess that's the same for everyone.

I probably need to visualise as well to what extent I could really see myself wanting to come back here to live some day if I did go...

Yes, I left and I regret it.

@SheWranglesRugRats
Apparently its 6 months you're allowed to be out of the country

@Dancingwithdaftness
That's a shame - it's what I'm afraid of. Do you regret it for a particular reason or is it just a feeling?

"Because if she gets citizenship she can live anywhere in the EU

Not particularly useful if you prefer to live in the UK gwen and certainly not worth wasting another two years plus of your life when you are hitting your mid thirties."

I didn't realise she was leaving her DP.
I don't see why living in France and getting her citizenship is wasting her life either. She'd have more options for the future.
She has never said she would never like to live abroad again and if she does end up staying with her DP, she might want to go back there some day and having the citizenship would help.

"fortunately in the OU prices are the same whether you are home or overseas."

I had to pay almost 3 times as much! That was for undergraduate though.

"In France I find friendships and socialising are much more linear. People stay home more and stick to their circles!"

Are you in a small town though? I'm in a city in another continental European country and there are LOADS of clubs and activities here when there isn't a panedemic.

I don’t get the point of distance learning with the OU when you could do the same at a French university for practically nothing.

If you feel like you're done with France then I don't see why people think having EU citizenship is so important. And, post-Brexit, I don't see what will be so different about living and training in the UK?

The UK is fine, no worse than France in different ways, and you obviously feel it is your "home".

@CroissantMuncher but there's always boules on the village green surely? Would that not suffice for now?

@Dancingwithdaftness

Yes, I left and I regret it.

Same here. I've just gone back.

@Rubyroost
😂😂😂😂

If you get your French citizenship that opens up the whole of the EU for work and living - it’ll give you far more options for the future. Having the right to work and travel freely in the EU will be a big plus for a lot of organisations as well, something to think about if you want to do research, attend conferences etc.

@Dancingwithdaftness
You still have two months to get back there

Follow your heart! I wouldn't waste time waiting around for citizenship, I would want to move on to the next exciting chapter in my life but then I always love doing everything in a whirlwind.

@Asterion

If you feel like you're done with France then I don't see why people think having EU citizenship is so important. And, post-Brexit, I don't see what will be so different about living and training in the UK?

The UK is fine, no worse than France in different ways, and you obviously feel it is your "home".

Well, obviously people voted to take away our EU citizenship so it's not important for everyone. I'm surprised you haven't noticed it's important to some of us though. Have you been under a rock since 2016?

Post Brexit and Covid university funding will collapse. Our economy is heading for the cliffs.

It doesn’t really sound like you’re that well versed in what’s going on here if you’re even contemplating coming back now.

Your DH seems rather limited and rigid, is that not part of the problem?

If I were you I’d relocate down south. With or without your DH.

@Mollscroll

and then there is the weather here

OP said she’s in Northern France 😂

which is still South of this country anyway..

France is a big country, so is England. If you are in Northern France, it means Lille or around?

I personally like London because it's a melting pot and you have freedom and pretty much unlimited chances to meet new people. Living in a small town or village in South or North England would drive me crazy.

I am actively looking at relocating because of Brexit, not sure about France but so far the pluses are:

Healthcare (French people are horrified at the idea of our communal wards and seem outraged at the idea to share a hospital room, with en-suite, with 1 person. Delays to see Doctors and referrals don't seem any worst than here).
Housing: much bigger, much cheaper. Central London and Paris might be pretty similar, but you get a lot more space for your money.
Geography: you can spend your winter skiing and your summer on the beach. Access to any other country only a drive away, without fussing with crossing the channel.

My reasons for relocating business and families are financial, and I am honestly more likely to move to Spain or Germany but the UK really comes bottom of the list when you compare everything. I can't think of a single reason why we should stay and try to salvage our business post Brexit.

We'll make new friends, and existing ones are already looking forward to make a holiday of visiting.

I would make the most of my opportunities now, this small island hasn't much to offer anymore.