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Original poster

Child Maintenance

205 replies

lifeisntperfect · 03/10/2020 08:35

Hi there,

I am looking for a bit of advice really. I am bout to split with my boyfriend. We live together and have 2 kids, both under the age of 5.

We both work full time and we are on exactly the same salary per year (coincidence). I own the house we live in and he pays me "rent" each month. He moved in when we first got together.

We have always done everything 50/50 when it comes to the kids. We split nursery cost down the middle and buy them clothes and food etc. I pay my share and he pays his share. No problem there. This will not be a problem going forward.

My question is, if/when we split up. He will have the kids 50% of the time and I will have them 50% of the time. They will have clothes at his house and they’ll have clothes at mine. He’ll feed them when they’re with him and I’ll do the same when they’re with me. Literally 50/50.

However the government website sets that he still needs to pay me £340 per month. Why? Does anyone know? I mean don’t get me wrong I will take the cash but deep down I don’t understand why?

I will have a mortgage to pay but so will he. Gas, electric, council tax etc... and so will he. Gosh it sounds like I’m defending him but I’m not. I just need to understand why he has to pay me and I don’t have to pay him even though we’re doing everything 50/50. I am no push over and I can make sure it’s 50/50.

I will take the money if the system says so but it seems unfair?

Can someone explain to me why he still need to pay me. There was no information on the government website.

Thanks in advance 🙏🏽

OP posts:
GilbertMarkham · 03/10/2020 20:01

Of course if he doesn't stick to 50-50, you can revisit the child maintenance thing.

GilbertMarkham · 03/10/2020 20:03

Young children can put a huge strain on any relationship op. You say he hasbt cheated, he seems to have been fair financially to date and is proposing doing 50-50 with kids .... Are things definitely unrecoverable. Would he be totally closed off to some couples counselling?

user1481840227 · 03/10/2020 20:07

*Yes I'm thinking he pays half of everything. And then on top of that he gives me extra £340.

We are both on £46,000.

The calculator says he has to pay me that amount.*

How does that work if it's 50/50?
Surely you then owe him the same amount?

GilbertMarkham · 03/10/2020 20:10

Ah right so he should pay 300 odd quid for that privilege? I see.

What privilege?

The privilege that poster's ex has by making her do all the school runs, morning and evening (with all.thr implications of that -while technically claiming he does 50-50 .... Yes, absolutely he should be paying some CM to reflect that it is not truly 50-50.

As to the ops stbx - if he truly does 50-50, no he shouldn't pay cm ... Asking ax he truly does and pays 50-50. It was a question to op regarding that.

Not sure what was difficult to understand about that.

GilbertMarkham · 03/10/2020 20:12

*Assuming

B1rdflyinghigh · 03/10/2020 20:13

We have one child who was 7 when we split up. It cost about £200 to run her! with clothes, after school clubs and half term clubs as we both work full time. He paid £100, I probably paid slightly more etc, but I earn more. We share 50/50 ish.
We came to an agreement that we were both happy with.

GilbertMarkham · 03/10/2020 20:51

you asked me to answer a question that I’d already answered.

I haven't asked you any questions.

I haven't @'d you or addressed you at any point. If I quoted a post, I didn't note that it was from one of yours. If it's the one about the labelling of ops ex's transfers as "rent money", i quoted it and asked a rhetorical question (to posters in the thread, not specifically you).

You were speculating on the law

This is not a law forum, most posters "speculate" to some extent but sensible ones add the caveat that the op should seek legal advice .. which is exactly what I did.

and giving the OP bad advice

Since I didn't give her any advice on the subject of a possible claim other than to seek legal advice, that's a nonsensical comment.

it doesn’t matter that the payment is labelled rent, btw.

You must be a solicitor then, perhaps you can gain some advice from you pro bono or through rights of women if you work for them.

GilbertMarkham · 03/10/2020 20:51

(Since you're so keen to help her in this thread and correct other posters).

GilbertMarkham · 03/10/2020 20:54

*perhaps op can gain some advice

TingeOfTheGinge · 03/10/2020 21:13

The child maintenance calculator is only for situations where one parent has more than 50%.

IndecentFeminist · 03/10/2020 21:41

People tend to be outraged about rent if one partner earns less or drops hours to look after kids. Which hasn't happened here.

He was just paying living costs.

Bollss · 04/10/2020 08:11

@GilbertMarkham

Ah right so he should pay 300 odd quid for that privilege? I see.

What privilege?

The privilege that poster's ex has by making her do all the school runs, morning and evening (with all.thr implications of that -while technically claiming he does 50-50 .... Yes, absolutely he should be paying some CM to reflect that it is not truly 50-50.

As to the ops stbx - if he truly does 50-50, no he shouldn't pay cm ... Asking ax he truly does and pays 50-50. It was a question to op regarding that.

Not sure what was difficult to understand about that.

It wasn't difficult to understand. No not doing one single school run isn't 50/50 but that's not what's happening here. It's like you're trying to find a way for op to justify this money.
NiceandCalm · 04/10/2020 08:39

Having looked at the government website it states:-

^You will not have anything to pay through the Child Maintenance Service if you are:
*sharing care equally with the other parent^

On the subject of him claiming half the house, legally he has no rights as you own the property and are just co-habiting. Yes he could go to court and try and claim but it's highly unlikely that any court would make you sell your home when you have kids to support.

This is just info I've found searching the web as am in a similar position.

I wouldn't engage with the thread anymore OP. You know how things stand now and the unnecessary character assassination is awful here.

GilbertMarkham · 04/10/2020 08:39

It wasn't difficult to understand.

Apparently it was ; because I've repeated and clarified what I said - including saying that if op's stbx truly does 50-50 (and pays for everything 50-50) he should pay no child maintenance .... Yet you are still saying the same thing.

Bollss · 04/10/2020 08:41

@GilbertMarkham

It wasn't difficult to understand.

Apparently it was ; because I've repeated and clarified what I said - including saying that if op's stbx truly does 50-50 (and pays for everything 50-50) he should pay no child maintenance .... Yet you are still saying the same thing.

You are still trying to find ways he should pay her.
GilbertMarkham · 04/10/2020 08:43

@TrustTheGeneGenie

No I'm not and never was - my point was that op should be careful about he'd 50-50 arrangements do that she didn't end up in the position the poster I referred to is in.

You are unbelievably obtuse (at best) and i'm not wasting one more second typing replies to you.

GilbertMarkham · 04/10/2020 08:44

*about her

Bollss · 04/10/2020 08:44

[quote GilbertMarkham]@TrustTheGeneGenie

No I'm not and never was - my point was that op should be careful about he'd 50-50 arrangements do that she didn't end up in the position the poster I referred to is in.

You are unbelievably obtuse (at best) and i'm not wasting one more second typing replies to you.[/quote]
I'm not being obtuse at all. I just don't agree with you there's a difference.

Please don't waste your time im sure you're busy trying to find more ways op can claim some cash.

TazMac · 04/10/2020 09:58

*On the subject of him claiming half the house, legally he has no rights as you own the property and are just co-habiting. Yes he could go to court and try and claim but it's highly unlikely that any court would make you sell your home when you have kids to support.

This is just info I've found searching the web as am in a similar position.*

This is incorrect. You say searching the web but you don’t cite your sources.

As stated above, this is a complex area and has many variables. A quick web search by a mumsnetter who doesn’t state her sources should not be considered dependable legal advice.

Note - ascertaining a beneficial interest is different from making the OP sell the house.

waterSpider · 04/10/2020 11:10

In terms of sources, this is a starting point for the house:
www.familylawpartners.co.uk/blog/property-rights-for-unmarried-couples/

TazMac · 04/10/2020 11:16

This is exactly my point.

If there is no Declaration of Trust you may still be able to show that you should have an interest in the property if you can demonstrate that:

There was a common intention between you that you would have an interest in the property and you have acted to your detriment in reliance of this.
Or

You were led to believe by your partner that you had a beneficial interest and as a consequence of this you acted to their detriment.
In other words you would, in most cases, have to prove that following an injection of capital/cash into the property you did so believing that there was an agreement or understanding that this was in return for a beneficial interest in the property and therefore you expect to receive this capital back when the relationship breaks down.

BillMasen · 04/10/2020 19:29

I’m a divorced dad
The cms calculator still requires a payment from the NRP to the RP even if care is 50:50

RP is simply based on who claim s child benefit

Courts have said the NRP needs to pay this, been where care is 50:50

Ask me how I know...

BillMasen · 04/10/2020 19:29

*even where

JaggySplinter · 04/10/2020 19:43

The gov.uk CMS calculstor works out an amount based on number of nights. So having the children for and equal number of nights a year, but where one parent is still the resident it main parent, does mean that the non resident parent pays child maintenance to the resident parent. But that situation is assumes that the non resident parent isn't doing fully shared care.

What you described in OP is fully shared care, and in that case no maintenance is due.

Original poster
lifeisntperfect · 04/10/2020 20:11

@BillMasen

I’m a divorced dad The cms calculator still requires a payment from the NRP to the RP even if care is 50:50

RP is simply based on who claim s child benefit

Courts have said the NRP needs to pay this, been where care is 50:50

Ask me how I know...

How do you know?
OP posts: