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Original poster

Worried about my sons dating life due to his size

273 replies

ComputerDad · 29/09/2020 15:26

Hello Everyone,

This may be an odd question, however I worry a lot about my son ( Dont all parents!? ) and I just want him to be happy.

My son is a small young man, hes just under 5'7" tall and weighs about 61 Kg. He is 17 years old and not likely to grow any taller or according to the doc.

This normally wouldn't concern me, however I have seen posts on Mumset about short men, and my Wife mentions to me often that she loves how tall I am ( I am 6'2" ), and never liked men unless they were over a head taller than she was.

I worry that he will struggle in life due to his height, and have trouble finding women that like him.

He is a handsome young man, with thick dark hair and thick dark facial hair, with Italian features from his mothers side of the family. Even still, I am worried, by the way I have heard woman talk about smaller men.

I have no experience with this, as I have always been large, and never had to think about my size when trying to date woman.

Am I being irrational? Is this something that I should even be concerned about? Is there anything I can tell him or advise him when it comes to woman and his size?

Id appreciate any input you can provide.

OP posts:
Dastardlythefriendlymutt · 30/09/2020 05:52

I'm 5'3"(5'2.5" if I'm honest). I've never been bothered about height.

The only person I dated who went on about how tall and desirable he was, was a twat.

Your son sounds fine.

SozBabes · 30/09/2020 06:02

He isn't undateable but like most people he will not be everybody's type and that's his bear to cross. Best to get on with it as nothing can be done.

WellTidy · 30/09/2020 08:42

Has anyone mentioned Jamie Callum and Sophie Dahl yet?

Lexilooo · 30/09/2020 08:58

Firstly he could grow a bit more, I carried on growing until 18 and boys stop later. Probably not much though.

But honestly 5ft7 isn't really short. I like tall men but dated a few that were around the same height as me because they were nice guys and attractive in other ways. It is just one factor.

Plus he will still be a head taller than plenty of women. The average height of women in the UK is 5ft5, but lots are much shorter.

DrDetriment · 30/09/2020 09:02

Don't worry. He's not that short and sounds very handsome.

meatn2vegg · 30/09/2020 09:24

Loyalty, honesty, a decent moral compass & a sense of humour are far more attractive than how tall someone is IMO

Lexilooo · 30/09/2020 09:24

Also please do not make him conscious of his height. Men with a complex about their lack of height can be really nasty. I have worked for two and both were really nasty bullies.

Plenty of short men are lovely, but ones who feel they have to compensate for their height are awful.

Zakana · 30/09/2020 09:25

My DP is 5’8” and a quarter 😂😂😂 his description, and my 21 year old son is about the same, both are confident and handsome and neither has had any problem attracting the ladies, don’t worry, your son will be fine, personality, respect for women, family values, good morals and kindness are very attractive traits to most women, I’ve been with my DP for 30 years next March!

OfTheNight · 30/09/2020 09:30

My best friend is 5ft 9 but her husband is 5ft 3. Prior to meeting her he didn’t have any issues dating. I think if he’s a nice man, it’s not an issue. Plus 5ft 7 doesn’t sound all that short to me.

JumpingJamboree · 30/09/2020 09:34

The average U.K. man is only 5'9 and the average U.K. woman is 5'3 so he really isn't that far away from his average height and a lot taller than the average woman.
If he is a nice guy, his height won't be an issue. Many women say they want someone tall but in reality, what they want is a nice guy who will treat them right. I have previously dated guys the same height as me (5'9) and my husband is taller at 6ft. It really makes no difference to me how tall someone is as long as they are nice and kind.

Mosasaur · 30/09/2020 09:37

You said he’s handsome so he’ll be fine. Not many women would say no to 5ft8 Zac Efron.

Pokske · 30/09/2020 09:38

Just to say... I'm a 52 YO, 5'6" woman and I have dated men from 5'5" to 6'5".
Both my parents were 5'4" but my mom looked taller because of a more "lengthily build".
There are other things in life than how tall you stand.

TroysMammy · 30/09/2020 09:50

Move to Wales, the average height for women is less than other parts of the UK.

I'm just under 5ft and my Aunties were shorter than me. My exH is 5ft 7in and it never bothered either of us.

MrMeeseekscando · 30/09/2020 10:06

The sexiest man I've ever known was shorter than me. I'm 5'6"
The women that write off someone because of height are missing out!

SlightlyCheesedOff · 30/09/2020 10:19

What a thing to worry about, honestly OP, height does.not maketh the man. What a shallow awful world we live in.

CandidaAlbicans2 · 30/09/2020 12:35

Well, people can't help who they find sexually attractive so it's not shallow to not want to date someone who isn't their type. Many women prefer men who are at least the same height as them, preferably a few inches taller, which is why online dating is so brutal for short men and tall women. At 5'7" he's not really short anyway, but even if this was a potential issue as long as he's got a great personality he'll hopefully be fine.

TheTeenageYears · 30/09/2020 12:57

@ComputerDad on a recent call with a gastroenterologist DS was asked his height, my height, DH's height and other siblings height. He explained later that if a son doesn't reach the same height as his Dad he hasn't met the standard growth normals for a male and there is usually a medical reason why. At 17 he could well still be growing but personally I wouldn't completely rule out a reason for him being significantly shorter than you. Coeliac's disease is very often a cause of limited growth. I know this is a slight deviation from your question but thought it might be useful.

lockupthepig · 30/09/2020 14:21

He will be ok. My partner is 5,7, I'm slightly shorter but not much! At first when I let him I did think "wow he's short" but now I think nothing of it, i love him and he's a good person so his height doesn't even matter. Some women will prefer taller men, same as some prefer blonde blue eyes ect... we all have different preferences, he will meet someone who won't care.

1forAll74 · 30/09/2020 14:42

5ft 7ins is not small. there are lots of men with this height stature.
You should not worry about your son in this way.

I think that Tom Cruise the actor is 5ft 7ins, and his height as never kept him back from all his achievments, and all the women who like him.

Original poster
ComputerDad · 30/09/2020 15:23

[quote TheTeenageYears]@ComputerDad on a recent call with a gastroenterologist DS was asked his height, my height, DH's height and other siblings height. He explained later that if a son doesn't reach the same height as his Dad he hasn't met the standard growth normals for a male and there is usually a medical reason why. At 17 he could well still be growing but personally I wouldn't completely rule out a reason for him being significantly shorter than you. Coeliac's disease is very often a cause of limited growth. I know this is a slight deviation from your question but thought it might be useful.[/quote]
He is likely significantly shorter then me because of my wife, she is 4'11", and he also looks more like her side of the family then mine.

OP posts:
JimmyJabs · 30/09/2020 16:07

I personally don't care about height, and I know many other women who feel likewise, but equally there will be some who won't date men shorter than 5'10" or whatever. That's their prerogative - we can't all be fancied by everyone and nobody should be entering the dating world with a chip on their shoulder about what other people may or may not think of their perceived shortcomings. I see so many profiles on OLD which say "I am 6'2" - apparently this matters" or "I am 5'6" - if this bothers you, jog on" and both attitudes are so unattractive.

I'm overweight and I know that this will rule me out for a lot of men when it comes to dating. It sucks a bit, of course, but I don't feel entitled to be "given a chance" by someone who just doesn't fancy me because my arse is too big.

TheMarzipanDildo · 30/09/2020 16:17

5’7 would never cross my mind as being particularly short (I’m 5’2)! Nor am I especially drawn to tall men. Different strokes for different folks and all that.

People who irritatingly post their height on OLD are a turn off, however, and should probably cease and desist.

AKissAndASmile · 30/09/2020 16:23

If he hasn't got much facial hair yet he could still be growing. I don't know how the doctor is so sure he's not going to grow more. Is he taller than his mum?

Having said that, confidence is the most important thing. Please don't ever mention anything to him about his height. He should feel he's perfect just the way he is.

AKissAndASmile · 30/09/2020 16:26

Cross posted- I see you've said your wife's height. She is quite small, so not too surprising.

Graphista · 30/09/2020 16:38

The threads I've seen re Male height have been more about men LYING about their height on online dating - it's the LYING that is the issue far more than the height.

I'm 5'2" so most people are taller than me but my ex is 5'6" and I was big into huge heels when I met him so appeared taller than him, I remember our first slow dance me seemingly towering over him - he had absolutely no problem with that and if anyone teased him/us he'd respond "we're all the same height lying down"

2 of my fwb have been shorter men and had no problems attracting women, loads of confidence.

Many celeb men are on the shorter side and don't let it bother them.

As pps say focus on ensuring he is a polite, thoughtful, considerate and fair young man who treats girls/women well - which I hope you'd been doing anyway - and he'll be absolutely fine