Feel like husband doesnt care. 2.

[Chickencuddle]

Continuing from other thread.

I have recieved an email from womens aid lady. She said she thinks it's definitely abuse. She will ring me later to arrange a meet up to discuss options. I've told her I want to leave. She said she will help me.

No offence you make a lot of excuses for this vile being

Ughhh I hate him

He's horrible @Chickencuddle and I look forward to hearing about your escape as soon as you feel able. xxx

this is close to the most dreadful situation I ever read. 🌺

Please take refuge OP

How are you doing OP? Your latest updates show just how horrible your husband is. I’m honestly scared and upset for you - you deserve so much better than him.

I'm ok nothing bad has happened really just a few shouty things which he got angry at little things and he has now asked me to do a lie detector test to show I havnt slept or kissed anyone else. Its £400 such a waste of money. But feel like I have to do it to keep him happy.

You are fucking kidding me! This is so humiliating! I can’t believe you are so exhausted that you are entertaining this ludicrous idea. What a paranoid, small human your DH is.

OP why are you trying to keep him happy at the expense of everyone else including your children

what do you think would happen if you said no

I'm not keeping him happy at the expense of our children I'm keeping him happy FOR my children. If he is upset about anything or annoyed or whatever he is shouty and short tempered and everyone suffers.

When are you supposed to have slept or kissed someone else when you haven't got 2 minutes to yourself? He knows this, it's just another way of controlling you.

Could you send a link to these threads to the lady from WA so she can read it?

I suppose I could but it would be very embarrassing and I dont think she would have time to read it. They are super busy. I could email her but not sure what to say.

Oh OP, you feel that you have to keep on making excuses, justifying his behaviour and your responses.
It's like watching someone trying to bail out the Titanic with a teaspoon. This ship is going down and you're going down with it unless you abandon it now and save yourself and your children.
I truly hope you can find the strength because I fear for you all otherwise.

I'm only doing it temporarily until I get out. I have the meeting with wa lady in 2 weeks. I'm not really sure how to get out and im hoping I will feel clearer after meeting with womens aid lady

There's nothing go to be embarrassed about & I think you should tell WA everything you've posted on here so she knows how bad it is.

Can you see her quicker ? 2 weeks is a long time

When I spoke to her that was the earliest because due to school being off i cant meet her with my 3 children in tow and then she had a week of training or something so that was the earliest day we could get. She did say i could email though. I emailed her at the start kind of bullet points of things that were going on.

If you send her the link she can decide if she has time to read it, if you don’t send it then she can’t possibly read it. Sending it will take seconds, I really think you should do that. Something like
Hi I can’t really talk over the phone and its hard to put it all together into one email but I have found an online community that are supporting me a bit, and been telling them. This link is to my thread where I explain lots about what he does, just bit by bit. I’m sorry it’s so long, there is an option to just read my posts.

No way !!!

I'm so so alarmed to read this
Lie fcking detector test????

You will stump up the money ??

I say this from a good heart

You are putting. Your kids at so so much risk
This is highly unfair

Excuses after excuses

You Sound lovely and decent by the way
And like you have nothing to worry about

Please please get out
Please

I went back to the loser 25 times and after the last time I had a police officer shred me to the pieces with how stupid and risky I had been
She was so right
Didn't like to hear it at the time but she had a point

Your abuser is truly awful

You need to get out and go to a refuge. I know it’s hard. I know he’s made you question everything and if the abuse is bad. IT IS. You’re being raped in your sleep. You aren’t allowed a second to yourself. You can’t even make a phone call to a friend without him having to know.
These two things are enough to be terrified, enough to cause you and your children irreparable damage, and enough to warrant getting out of there ASAP like now and going to a refuge.
Stop worrying about whether any single event is abusive enough. You are being raped in your sleep. This is enough. More than enough. You need to get out now, immediately. Your children rely on you to protect them. You need to do more than wait for this woman. Call the police even and say you’re being raped and sexually assaulted. You need to get into a refuge. They will help you get your life together without him. Your children will be so so so much better off. Please listen to us all.

@Chickencuddle

I suppose I could but it would be very embarrassing and I dont think she would have time to read it. They are super busy. I could email her but not sure what to say.

I think it's a really good idea you send her the links to your threads. What do you have to be embarrassed about?

I feel really embarrassed. I sent the link and explained why and also that I want to leave but not sure how.
She replied to me just now saying she would prefer not to read mumsnet thread as she thinks these types of forums can be "Judgey" she reminded me we were meeting up in 2 weeks and could speak then. She finished by saying ti contact police if I am in danger.
I feel stupid and silly. Of course there are women in real danger and real need. I feel like I'm being so over sensitive. I just feel like crying it was hard for me to send that and I just shouldnt have bothered.

What the hell is going on with WA these days? It sounds like they are never available and now this

I can't believe she said that to you. She doesn't need to read everyone else's opinion she only needs to read your posts. You shouldn't feel embarrassed. You are taking steps in the right direction

Wow I’m so sorry she said that to you. I am judging very hard here personally and it’s not you!!

She wasnt saying you were not in danger or need.

She was saying I think (possibly rightly) that reading a thread such as this could actually not be helpful for her in terms of bias and she would rather do it face to face. If you face danger in the meantime call the police

Maybe though take out your posts and send them to her?