Feel like husband doesnt care. 2.

[Chickencuddle]

Continuing from other thread.

I have recieved an email from womens aid lady. She said she thinks it's definitely abuse. She will ring me later to arrange a meet up to discuss options. I've told her I want to leave. She said she will help me.

Im making you a cup of tea, plate of biscuits and squash. So sorry things are hard for you today @Chickencuddle this maybe one of the hardest times ever, but it will pass and you will feel better xx

Listen, my ex was sexually inappropriate around the kids and pushing it somewhat when they were even sat on the bed.
They were 2.5 and 9 and one day I legged it with just a carrier bag (to a relative)
The youngest doesn't remember how shit it had got but the eldest does and he's 21 now. Your children will know how you are putting them first and improving their life massively at a later date and just because this is all new and scary should not make you bottle so quickly.
You are so strong, you love your kids and if you go back to this wankstain you are messing with their lives and mental health for a hell of a long time!
STAY WHERE YOU ARE it will get better!
Soz for the lecture I've been in similar circs.

@chickencuddle. Keep posting lovie. You’ll be feeling all sorts of things at the moment but it’s important to remember you have done the right thing. People here will probably be able to tell you what sorts of things you’re going to be feeling because they’ve been though the same. All of your feelings are going to be completely normal and expected and you may find that you have a bit of a wobble because for the first time in ages, your mind isn’t in fight or flight mode. It’s not under constant attack or on constant guard so it’s going to have space and time to start processing things. When you can, speak to some of the other people in the refuge because they will have gone through the same. Keep posting and let yourself see how strong and amazing you are for what you have done.

Oh well done @Chickencuddle! Right now it's understandable you feel uncertain but hang on in there! Did anything happen last night, did he contact you? Stay strong, you've done the very best thing for yourself and your children. Stay in touch on here, we're all rooting for you

Huge well done OP! my mums net wouldn’t work yesterday but I was thinking about you!! Baby steps, it will feel better! Xxx

Well done. This is absolutely the best thing for your kids and yourself. The refuge is a stepping stone to a happier life without abuse. You can now role model healthy relationships and your kids can grow up in a healthy environment. Your ex is likely to be the Disney dad or only have minimal weekly contact and that manageable compared to previous living conditions. Your kids will most likely vote with their feet eventually

You’re an amazing mum, you’ve done it. You’ve done a whole night and woken up the other side. Give those babies cuddles and play as you do, you’re so creative in making things fun for them. This time is about YOU, for the first time in your life you’ve put yourself first. I’m so so so grateful for the people over these two threads that have nothing but support, love and understanding for you. Hold on to this. No one has forced you to see things as worse than they are, they’ve helped and guided you to do the right thing for yourself and for your children. You deserve this new life. Everyone is here for you every step of the way. Don’t be scared of repeating yourself or sharing your doubts. No one will be fed up of hearing it. Talk it out. Always. Sending you the biggest virtual hug and know these aren’t just messages on your phone. We’re real people who really care about you xxx

You are bound to feel like that. You have just done a huge thing, any big decision will leave you questioning yourself. Plus you are all alone together for 48hrs. So at the moment you can’t get the help and support that you need to settle those thoughts and you can’t see that your kids will be okay. But you will soon.

Just keep going, do what you can with the kids to keep them entertained. Maybe write that list if you haven’t already. Anything to help until this part is over. It’s such a shame that you have to isolate, because it is making it harder but it will be over soon.

The decision you have made is to stop being sexually abused, to get your kids out a sexually charged environment, to stop your kids from being shouted at and treated cruelly, to stop being controlled. Just keep thinking about these things, re-read the threads and don’t doubt yourself.

You are so brave and such a good mum, your children are obviously going to mention him etc. That is natural, but don’t think that the questions, or requests or even complaints are a sign you have done the wrong thing at all.

It’s just change and it’s just for now. Everything will become easier

You are amazing !!!

Sending you a DM now

Xxx

Try not to think about him. When you feel your thoughts spiralling to regret, switch them to the not too distant future. Imagine you and your DC in your new home, baking or making cookies, you all singing and dancing round the kitchen. You are all out for a walk, little DS splashing about in puddles, or at the beach jumping over waves. Your DD excited about a sleepover with a new school chum or just you and her in a duvet nest with popcorn and a movie. Sunday mornings with the four of you snuggled in your bed watching cartoons. Even a phone call with one of your college chums trying to figure out yesterdays coursework. You have a bright future, free and happy, calm and peaceful, filled with love and laughter. It's right there for the taking, don't look back, only forward now. ☘️

The peace and the happiness that lies ahead

The mother and how she made it out and kept her children safe

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@Inaseagull 🥰

You are brave OP.

Just so you know, this thread is getting close to 1000 posts and will be full. Please start a new one for continued support. 💙

So so proud of you Op!! You did it, you saved yourself and your DC. Take it one minute at a time.

Hi, Chicken. Another de-lurker here. I've read your threads and I'm so proud of you for getting out of your horrible situation with your disgusting, controlling H.

You've finally done it. Well done!

I, too, have an actual tear in my eye to think you've finally broken free. The only way is up. I don't normally post in relationships but felt I had to show you my support.

Are you doing ok Chicken?

Hope you and DC are doing ok - just wanted to say I think you are amazing - both as a mother and a woman. Well done

Another checking in to see how you are getting on?

Hope you’re ok. It must be so hard having to isolate. You’ve done the right thing - keep strong. You’re an amazing mum

Another thinking of you and hoping you're all getting on ok

Oh @Chickencuddle, please check in and let us know you're OK... been thinking about you all day.

Im giving you a big warm hug right now @Chickencuddle. Close your eyes , I hope you can feel it x

@Chickencuddle morning lovely, how are you doing? Are you able to come out of isolation today?

Yes able to come out of isolation today. But no staff I'm until 11. So wont be before then might be around 1.30 which was the time I arrived.
Feeling really conflicted and confused and unsure. Sorry for not posting.

I can't imagine what you're going through. Today will hopefully be the day you get the clarity you need! Don't apologies, how are the DC? Xxx @Chickencuddle