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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feel like husband doesnt care. 2.

999 replies

Chickencuddle · 28/09/2020 13:48

Continuing from other thread.

I have recieved an email from womens aid lady. She said she thinks it's definitely abuse. She will ring me later to arrange a meet up to discuss options. I've told her I want to leave. She said she will help me.

OP posts:
stockpilingallthecheese · 15/01/2021 08:35

I haven't posted before but have been following your story feeling absolutely horrified and repulsed by your husband and how you've been made to live - and the fact you perceive it as normal or not that bad!

There is a better live for you and your children and it could start for you today! Yes it will be incredibly tough but one baby step at a time.

Wishing you luck, bravery and strength today. You have everyone here rooting for you, I'm sure including many more who haven't posted yet.

Quartz2208 · 15/01/2021 10:24

Good luck today - we are all behind you and however hard and awful it is going to be it is the right decision to make for you and your children

Welshgal85 · 15/01/2021 10:33

Are you okay OP? Thinking of you today. You can do this xx

dontgetmewrong · 15/01/2021 10:38

I'm also thinking about you today. You can do this Thanks

Chickencuddle · 15/01/2021 10:39

I started packing everything but I'm finding it difficult with the kids. My littlest keeps unpacking everything and other two are wanting me to play with them and asking for constant snacks. I've stopped for a break because it was just impossible. They are not the type of kids to want to sit infront of tv for ages. Planning on getting them all a snack and trying to finish in a bit. I domt feel as bad as yesterday but I still dont know if this is the right thing to do but I have to make a decision now and this is the decision I've made. I'm so scared for the kids I hope they wont hate me.

OP posts:
InkieNecro · 15/01/2021 10:47

Don't delay, make it a game for them. You don't have to be neat, just 'who can get xyz and put it in the bag fastest and shove everything in.

I left last year, you can do it too. I had to run around the house throwing things into bin bags and that's absolutely fine! Just shove everything into bags and go, take the money and also any paperwork you come across. Don't read through it, it takes too long. Just take it and you can post it back if needed.

Cavagirl · 15/01/2021 10:47

They won't hate you Chicken, they will thank you. You are so brave to be doing the right thing instead of the easy thing.
As someone said upthread, take it hour by hour, minute by minute, at the moment.
I'm absolutely in awe of you, you're such a strong person and a bloody brilliant mum.

welldonesquirrel · 15/01/2021 10:55

been watching your story all along. You can do this. Please stay strong we are all rooting for u 💕

greyinganddecaying · 15/01/2021 10:58

I agree with PPs, make it into a game. Eg "ok DS, your turn! Pick out your 5 favourite books/toys and put them in this bag" - while you throw some clothes into a bag.

Do for each. Then once a bag is full, put it out of the way/in the car.

If you forget something it's not the end of the world.

Your husband is a horrible bully & you need to get out of there.

Welshgal85 · 15/01/2021 11:00

They won’t hate you OP, you are a great mum and they love you. They are safe and happy with you. I agree with others,try not to worry to much about the packing, just put what you can into bags and go. The sooner you are at the refuge the better and the team there will help and support you.

KittyKattyKate · 15/01/2021 11:05

You can do it, OP. Your new life starts today Star

notapizzaeater · 15/01/2021 11:12

They wont hate you. You are protecting them.

Lolapusht · 15/01/2021 11:17

Chuck stuff into bags, give them sweets/snacks to occupy them and stop for a drive thru McDonalds once you’ve left. Keep going. Keep packing. Focus on getting everyone away and getting somewhere safe. Xx

Yellowswan · 15/01/2021 11:18

I absolutely promise you they will not hate you. They will love and respect you for wanting a better life for them.

I’m so pleased to hear you are feeling better than yesterday, sometimes the thought of doing something that scares us is way worse than the reality.

Deep breath and get your things together as quickly as you can, keep the momentum going, nows not the time to stop and think.
Practical head on today.

You have a whole army of people behind you here, I know it’s not the same as irl, but we are all thinking of you just the same x

Catmaiden · 15/01/2021 11:27

Dear Chickencuddle, you can do this!

Just get most important stuff in bags, bags straight into car, get the kids involved, bag straight into car.
And if all else fails, just get you and the children out.
Stuff doesn't matter, at the end of the day as it can always be replaced
but you and the children can't.

You can do this!

Fartintheloft · 15/01/2021 11:36

You are doing well @Chickencuddle just keep taking those deep breaths and keep packing the best you can. You can do this, they won’t hate you at all, far from it. We are all here for you Flowers

ReallySpicyCurry · 15/01/2021 11:37

Come on missus. You can do this. Total belief in you. Flowers

ReallySpicyCurry · 15/01/2021 11:39

Just run round with a bin bag firing stuff into it. Grab kids and go

Screenburn · 15/01/2021 11:40

OP, you are an amazing person. I know you can do this. Is there anything that they will all watch, even for 10 minutes? You can get a lot done in just a short time.

Shutupyoutart · 15/01/2021 12:12

You are amazing. Keep going one step at a time. Were all here for you x

JarvisCockersLeftEyebrow · 15/01/2021 12:19

How are you doing love? I hope you’re out of there Flowers

Peridot1 · 15/01/2021 12:23

Hi Chickencuddle - I’ve been following your thread but haven’t posted before.

I just wanted to point out a couple of things that stood out to me. You asked about where the coercive control was. I remember you posting before Christmas that he wouldn’t let you watch certain movies with the children - he said he wanted to watch them with them. Sounds nice of him but it’s him controlling what happens in the house even when he isn’t there with something as innocuous as Christmas movies. He was also controlling where toys were kept.

The continuing to touch you sexually and pinching your stomach and pretending to kick you is him asserting his possession of you. You are not a person to him. It’s partly sexual but also domination and possession. You are his possession to do what he wants with.

He is the same with the children. Dominant. Your dd feels she has no voice. And it’s really sad that she sees this at her age. But as she grows up she will start to find her voice. And he won’t like that. She is another of his possessions. She will push boundaries as that is what teens do. And he won’t want that. She won’t be able to grown and develop and mature naturally. She will either rebel completely or end up in a similar relationship.

Your children need you to leave this man. For now and for their future. It will be hard and confusing for them but it will be so worth it.

Madamswearsalot · 15/01/2021 12:25

I've been reading the thread but haven't 'de-lurked' until now. I wanted to add my voice to the other pp's on here urging you on.

I also wanted to say this: the bit of you that has kept you coming back to this thread to log things and ask questions, who has kept you in contact with your support worker, who has started to more strongly tell your H to stop when he's doing things you don't want him to do, who has looked at your children and promised them in your head that you'll get out - that bit is your core self.

This is the bit that wants you to go and keeps pushing you towards that. Because it knows, without a doubt, that you are not safe and that carrying on like this will damage you and your children significantly. That is the real you!

The other voices, who say - other people will think you're silly, they won't think it's that bad, staying is better, it's what we know, we love him we can't leave him, nooone will believe us - those are the traumatised bits of you, the bits who had their boundaries royally screwed with during your truly awful childhood. They can't help but cling onto the life they know because they are scared. It doesn't mean they are right.

I cannot stress enough how you're doing the right thing by leaving. And that the way your H behaves is NOT normal or ok. Really truly, he is abusing you.

And referring back to your understandable worries about upsetting your kids - they might say they want to go home, they want to see dad, they miss him. And that's ok to feel those things and to be sad but you can't let it influence your decision to go. They feel what they feel in the moment, they don't have a view of the longer term impact of their home life. You can see that and as the grownup you make the decision about what's best for them long term.

You are doing amazingly! I can't tell you how proud I, and all of the others cheering you on, are of you right now. Please keep going! There will be a lovely life on the other side.

Fartintheloft · 15/01/2021 13:08

@Madamswearsalot

I've been reading the thread but haven't 'de-lurked' until now. I wanted to add my voice to the other pp's on here urging you on.

I also wanted to say this: the bit of you that has kept you coming back to this thread to log things and ask questions, who has kept you in contact with your support worker, who has started to more strongly tell your H to stop when he's doing things you don't want him to do, who has looked at your children and promised them in your head that you'll get out - that bit is your core self.

This is the bit that wants you to go and keeps pushing you towards that. Because it knows, without a doubt, that you are not safe and that carrying on like this will damage you and your children significantly. That is the real you!

The other voices, who say - other people will think you're silly, they won't think it's that bad, staying is better, it's what we know, we love him we can't leave him, nooone will believe us - those are the traumatised bits of you, the bits who had their boundaries royally screwed with during your truly awful childhood. They can't help but cling onto the life they know because they are scared. It doesn't mean they are right.

I cannot stress enough how you're doing the right thing by leaving. And that the way your H behaves is NOT normal or ok. Really truly, he is abusing you.

And referring back to your understandable worries about upsetting your kids - they might say they want to go home, they want to see dad, they miss him. And that's ok to feel those things and to be sad but you can't let it influence your decision to go. They feel what they feel in the moment, they don't have a view of the longer term impact of their home life. You can see that and as the grownup you make the decision about what's best for them long term.

You are doing amazingly! I can't tell you how proud I, and all of the others cheering you on, are of you right now. Please keep going! There will be a lovely life on the other side.

This!!!! Listen to the voices telling you to do the right thing. How are you getting on now @Chickencuddle ?
Nooz · 15/01/2021 13:44

So much respect for you @Chickencuddle,

One day you will look back and see how right you were and one day you will be there for someone like you.

Like so so so many others here with you, my heart to the space you are making xxx good luck lovely lady

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