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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Made my plans to leave next week but am so scared

396 replies

Coco26 · 21/09/2020 19:30

I’ve been making my plans to leave abusive and controlling husband and have been building strength over the last couple of months. I no longer feel guilty that I’m going to leave, I can’t live like this any longer, I can’t stand being anywhere near him. I need to give my daughter somewhere safe to blossom and grow into the amazing woman she is going to be. Not allow her to be terrified and belittled and controlled and not able to enjoy her life.

But now that the date is so close I am so scared and don’t know how to plan the final bits. I don’t know what to put in the letter I plan to leave, whether to answer calls from him. Will I be better knowing what his reaction is? I feel so scared I can’t imagine ever being able to sleep, or leave the house, waiting to see if he finds out where we are and if he’ll try to hurt us. I’m terrified of him coming home whilst we’re getting everything in the car. And the covid situation makes everything worse. The people I’ve told have been really supportive but I’ll be on my own as I’m in an area where you can’t visit people in their home. I wish I could fast forward and be out the other side

OP posts:
annielouisa · 01/10/2020 11:36

Good luck, stay strong your DD will be eternally grateful .

Magpiesalute · 01/10/2020 11:45

You can do this. Happier days ahead. Good luck!

wildthingsinthenight · 01/10/2020 11:49

Good luck today OP!

SheRaTheAllPowerful · 01/10/2020 12:10

Wishing you a speedy exit today Coco, hope it al goes smoothly and you have your feet up in a new place soon x

Mum4Fergus · 01/10/2020 12:16
Thanks
Knittedfairies · 01/10/2020 12:18

Hope all is going well💐

Coco26 · 01/10/2020 12:30

We’re out. Still can’t believe it. Having a cup of tea with my friend to calm down before driving to new place. Still doesn’t seem real

OP posts:
TankGirl97 · 01/10/2020 12:37

So thrilled for you! I'm sure it won't truly feel real for ages but you're free Star

Aimzxo · 01/10/2020 12:46

Well done, I think your amazing and so brave, your doing what you need to do to give you and your DD the life you deserve, you should be proud of yourself, keep in touch xx

AllTheWorldIsGreen · 01/10/2020 12:49

🍾🥂

Cheeringmeup · 01/10/2020 12:50

So pleased for you. Scary and stressful time, but it's all upward from here! Very impressed with your bravery - well done. Wishing you and your DD a very happy and safe future Flowers

RandomMess · 01/10/2020 12:54

Well done!

FizzyGreenWater · 01/10/2020 12:54

OP you are amazing. Well done.

Stay strong and use ALL the help offered - keep people around you. They will be a protective circle. And... do not hesitate to call the police should he try anything at all. Men like this are often complete cowards when it comes down to it.

SuperSange · 01/10/2020 12:55

Amazing news! How do you feel?

JontyDoggle37 · 01/10/2020 13:01

Well done, you’re so strong. Hope you got everything out you wanted. This is the start of your new life. ❤️

BitOfANameChange · 01/10/2020 13:02

That's great Thanks

Joistlooking · 01/10/2020 13:10

Wishing you and DD every happiness Flowers

Jayaywhynot · 01/10/2020 13:11

Crikey, well done, I've been following this thread.
Good for you, keep us updated ❤️

LetItGoHome · 01/10/2020 13:14

Your amazing! Well done 🥳💐

Glinnerisgreat · 01/10/2020 13:14

So wonderful, I've been following the thread under another name (changed due to some activism I'm involved on in FWB).

I kept looking to see how you were and am thrilled you got out. Keep strong, everyone on here believes you can do it and you have real life support. If you need any additional support, there are people on here who can assist and I am sure will help. Please keep coming on to let us support you.

ittooshallpass · 01/10/2020 13:20

Great news OP, I'm sure that cup of tea feels good!

pointythings · 01/10/2020 13:24

I've just read your whole thread and WOW you are an amazing woman! Here's wishing you peace, joy and happiness in your new life.

Solasum · 01/10/2020 13:26

Bravo. Well done!

compulsiveliar2019 · 01/10/2020 13:35

Well done Op.

BrowncoatWaffles · 01/10/2020 13:36

Oh @Coco26 this is literally the best thing I have read today! So thrilled for you. Enjoy your tea and on to new adventures for you and DD.