Online dating in your 50's

[Fiftyandmore]

I've seen (but not read!) the thread about online dating in your 40's, and wondered if anyone would be interested in a similar thread for online dating in your 50's?

I'm 55 and giving this a go for the first time. I have to be honest and say it's soul destroying! I seem to get a lot of likes but not many result in conversation, let alone dates! And some of the conversations are just "hi" or "you ok?".

I've also found that I barely see anyone I'm attracted to. On the rare (very rare) occasions that I do, it's not reciprocated.

Anyone else in their 50's happy to share their OLD experiences? :)

I like lying on the sofa, watching films and eating chocolate - maybe I should change my profile pic to reflect that? 🤣 I couldn't do any worse than I am with my smiley pictures which neither involve chocolate nor lying down.

Really quiet round here. The likes I get from men don't interest me in the least; the likes I send obviously don't interest them. I get a list every morning of possible matches so I sent a like to one of them this morning and a few minutes later saw that he had been deleted from the site. I'm imagining that he was being offensive in response to my like (not bothered if he isn't mature enough to be polite) though not sure if the moderators act that quickly? I've sent a couple of messages and had "thanks but no thanks" responses so clearly there are some polite men out there. Fed up with OLD to be honest.

@Reeeallyoldbird when I check my likes in Match, for some that have only just liked me it says that their profile no longer exists, and that's without me even messaging them, so it seems to be some sort of weirdness in the system.

Other than that, I totally hear you re lack of interest in both directions. Have managed to join FB dating and a nice man from about 300 miles away popped up; anyone local is over 60, which I'm just not ready for.

Further updates from the FB frontline: men under 60 appear to be chefs or Christians. Or both. I have no problems with chefs but I draw the line at religion. My profile says atheist. But no more fish! 😊

Well I'm with you all on the "OLD is shit" bench today!

I had a date arranged for 11 today. I really really didn't want to go as I'd been finding his messages increasingly annoying and arrogant. Plus he was one of those who did the "I guess you're busy" thing if I didn't reply in under 2 seconds. However, believing him to be keen, even though I didn't want to go, I forced myself. AND THE BUGGER DIDN'T SHOW! Did I mention that I didn't want to go myself?!

And just now another one I've been talking to for a couple of days has told me that we're obviously looking for different things. We'd been chatting quite nicely I thought, PLUS I had kindly refrained from pointing out to him that he was obviously confusing me with someone else (which was clear from some of the things he was saying). I think my downfall was again having the audacity not to spend 23 and a half hours out of every 24 on the site, and therefore not replying to his (very lengthy it must be said) messages.

And I am heartily fed up of all the hi/how are you/how's your day/what you up to messages. HEARTILY I say!!

Apologies for shouting. Just off to see where the nearest nunnery (or do I mean convent?) is!

Just off to see where the nearest nunnery (or do I mean convent?) is!

A no show!! What a bugger. Forget the convent and hit the sofa with wine, chocolate and The Crown - seeing a supposedly fairytale romance turn into a dysfunctional relationship you'll be grateful to be single.

Thank you @Techway, very sound advice and much better than a nunnery (probably).

I'd like to invite all my lovely thread friends to join me on my sofa (you might have to bring extra alcohol) in order to celebrate, or perhaps in order to help me forget, that tomorrow is my birthday. Another year down :)

@Fiftyandmore, yay...a birthday on the thread, that's a first. Sorry the timing is lousy and you can't go out to celebrate.

OMG The Crown! I'd forgotten season 4 was starting. Thank you!

@WeWantTheFinestWines Set atheism as a ‘must have’ in your preferences on FB dating. I did that and asked for degree level education and ‘completed’ it in about 5 minutes.

Match has a problem with fake profiles occasionally so don’t take their disappearance personally. Tell tale signs are: minimal profile content, like you without viewing your profile, out of your age range, single pic with model looks. Match also presents profiles of non paying members. You should search and filter by last logged in otherwise you could be wasting your time.

Sorry you’ve had your time wasted @Fiftyandmore.

Hi everyone
I’ve been reading the thread for a few weeks, while I hum and haw about whether to try OLD. I’m 58, divorced, kids grown up and youngest only home in holidays.
It’s been a looong time since I was with anyone and I’m so many ways I am very happy living on my own. I have lots of fantastic female friends, and rarely meet men irl. Just not sure if I can face old ( of the generation that has never ‘dated’- used to just get to know someone slowly, through friends, or get off with someone at a party etc) but at the same time I think I would like someone to spend time with, or at least I do t like the thought of being on my own forever.
Thanks for all your chat and help to each other, it’s helping me to think about it too!

Wow HairyArsedMan I've just done those two things. No more University of Life for me! I wonder if I'll miss out on anyone leaving those things blank though.

Fiftyandmore if I don't remember tomorrow, then Happy Birthday now for tomorrow. I'll be round with choccies, flowers and booze presently. You'll have to budge up on the sofa though.

soyabean welcome to the thread. You join us at a difficult time. Today, OLD is officially shit and there's a bench to prove it. You will find happy times and happy daters on here too though. And lots of support always.

@WeWantTheFinestWines I set all prefs as ‘must haves’ as ideals for a first pass ... then switched off must have on the ones I was not too bothered about (degree educated) and did a second pass.

Thank you all for birthday wishes. I'm expecting you all here extremely soon or else I'll have drunk all the Baileys (I've upgraded from gin for tonight).

@soyabean you have joined us just in time for a nice civilised quiet evening of reflection .

Happy birthday @fiftyandmore! I have a glass of wine by my side. Cheers!

@Fiftyandmore Happy birthday for tomorrow!

Birthday wishes from me 🥳
I will join the bench with some gin

I logged onto Match last night after a long absence.. logged off after about 10 mins as could not be bothered by the rouges gallery... can anyone tell me is it possible to how to hide my profile on Match rather than suspend so I look quietly without all the winking/ notifications

🥂😀 happy birthday

@Fiftyandmore - happy birthday (is it too early at 7:18am? )

Happiest of birthdays @Fiftyandmore - or should that be @Fiftyoneand more? 🥳💐

@Fiftyandmore have a brilliant day 🎁🥳💐

Happy birthday Fiftyandmore! A fellow Scorpio I see. Mine is following shortly.

Well, the potential date, who specified he wanted a feminine and not overweight woman on his arm got short shrift from me. He replied with "You're overthinking things. At least I'm being honest."

Blocked.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry when I see the profile pictures of uninspiring men on my screen. I really don't want to play this sad game anymore.

@Fiftyandmore Happy Birthday.
Not turning up is just shit. When I did OLD a few years ago I arranged a date with someone who was meeting me in his car in a neutral place. He pulled up next to me, looked at me and reversed at speed out of parking space. It upset me for quite a while but I now know it was about him, not me and I laugh about it.
I have a meeting from Fab today. We are meeting in a park for a walk or coffee. Will report back.
Had a phone chat with a road worker last night. I was expecting the usual high energy semi shrieking, self promoting, slightly love bombing weirdness Ive had the last couple of weeks from different men. Instead I got a measured, balanced conversation and I didnt feel a need to entertain him. Im a fairly quiet, reserved and slightly awkward person and fairly serious but Ive noticed recently Ive been ramping up the entertaining part of my character, probably through nerves and feeling self conscious. Talking to this man last night I didnt feel the need to do that.
I am also not going to do that on my meeting today. Ill just be myself and see how it goes.
I may look like Im being successful but none of these men so far have been anything other than flakey. Plus I only work 2 days a week so have a bit of time and Im a v quick typist. The crutches I have to use so far, have not put anyone off.
Im not sure who it is, but someone had a date lined up with a man who wanted 'feminine and not obese'. I was wondering if that went ahead?
Happy Wed everyone..

@Redfox You have to upgrade to incognito mode for that