Guess what the catch is

[GoneAndDoneItAgainAgain]

I’ve been chatting to a friend of a friend on and off for a few months about a mutual interest. A couple of weeks ago he asked me out for dinner, I agreed and we had a really lovely evening, loads in common and we’re seeing each other again this weekend.

He’s mid 40’s (11 years older than me), divorced but apparently amicable with ex, very highly educated and has a professional, well paid job. He’s good looking, he’s funny, he’s easy to talk to, he’s incredibly intelligent and has been single for over a year since his last relationship.

What do you think the catch is? Am I missing something really obvious? Why would someone like him be single and why would he be interested in me? I’m not being all false modesty or anything but he’s way out of my league in terms of looks (not personality, I’m fucking adorable). I’m guessing micro penis.

Just enjoy it I say! It’s still early days so who knows what could happen but try not to analyse it too much would be my advice. I definitely worried too much in the beginning of my relationship with DP and I had nothing to worry about at all.

Contrary to what some people may say, good men and women do exist, maybe you’ve found one!

Yep I've had friends tell me all about the 'gorgeous' man they have met. Let's just say beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Laughing properly at the ginger Shrek!
Mine looks like David Ginola, no really.

OP- I hope he's lovely

He might have not clicked with anyone.
He might be waiting to recover or distance from his last relationship.
Also I can almost guarantee you are underestimating yourself in terms of attractiveness and how much of a crach you are. Plus probably overestimateing how much of a catch he is.

so I just wanted a good shag now and again, ideally with someone who wasn’t a psychopath.

Op you are hilarious.

Or maybe, just maybe, he's perfectly normal and doesn't have a micropenis. Maybe he gets on amicably with his ex as they just weren't compatible, in a not-at-all sinister way...

@GilbertMarkham

so I just wanted a good shag now and again, ideally with someone who wasn’t a psychopath.

Op you are hilarious.

Yup, great sense of humour. That's probably why the micro penis guy really likes her. The micro penis doesn't have to be a dealbreaker OP!

I think he just hasn't been looking. Like you haven't been looking. Which is fine.

So, you've had one dinner date with him & you're planning on having sex with him this weekend???

Well done, have fun, hope the tackle is all up & running & of a suitable size!!

If what you were looking for was some decent sex & this turns out not to be that, move forward as friends.

Oh & please PM me details if they have an available slightly older brother!!

I feel it's fairly unlikely but he might refuse to sleep with you just yet as it's too soon and he'd prefer to get to know you better.

Perhaps his kids have psychopathic tendencies.

Is it that outrageous to be thinking about shagging someone on a second date? I’m not saying I definitely will or won’t but I probably wouldn’t say no. We’ve only physically had one date (although we have met several time before as we have mutual friends but that was our first one on one meeting) but we’ve been having video chats most nights. Also I have had very little opportunity to get laid in the last few years and am pretty much morally bankrupt.

@GoneAndDoneItAgainAgain

Is it that outrageous to be thinking about shagging someone on a second date? I’m not saying I definitely will or won’t but I probably wouldn’t say no. We’ve only physically had one date (although we have met several time before as we have mutual friends but that was our first one on one meeting) but we’ve been having video chats most nights. Also I have had very little opportunity to get laid in the last few years and am pretty much morally bankrupt.

Go for it, there’s no rules 😂

OP it's your duty to shag him - if it's consensual of course- we are invested now.

I've been morally bankrupt since around 1976. Never done me any harm.

I don't think you have mentioned traits like kind/caring/compassionate/generous (in nature not necessarily with gifts/money) which are all vital to me.

miseryl those traits are pretty vital to me too. I haven’t seen anything to suggest that he doesn’t have any of those traits.

FWIW I think you sound bloody lovely, and am not at all surprised he's into you. Don't sell yourself short

It'll be the kids and the ex. It will likely be a whole lot less amicable when they know about you. If you progress to living together or getting married likely as not the children will be difficult. Even if they don't hate you, you'll prob be annoyed by them. Also Disney dad is a thing.
Having said that, 2 dates in is ridiculous to be analysing and posting about him. Certainly wouldn't sleep with him early on if you're looking for a relationship.

I’m not really looking for a relationship, just ridiculously overanalysing as I have very little else to do with my time at the moment. Lockdown has meant that all my usual hobbies have been cancelled so I’ve taken up obsessing over men I barely know instead.

No money, maybe.

Wouldn't it be great if there really was a red flag smell....

I don’t think he’s broke. He might be, I’m not though so I wouldn’t be too fussed but that unless it’s because he’s a gambler or drug addict or something.

Oh just go for it! What have you got to lose?

And ignore anyone who says don't sleep with him. That's your choice. Plenty of women have slept on a first date and gone on to have a long term relationship.

Aah I love the thrill of the excitement of the start of something new! The debate of will you or won’t you shag on the second date? I think go for it! If you are not compatible in the bedroom you need to find out sooner rather than later!

I’m still chuckling over the micro peen and sex dungeon!

I don't think you have mentioned traits like kind/caring/compassionate/generous (in nature not necessarily with gifts/money) which are all vital to me.

A good shag could check these off the list!