When my oldest started nursery I was 37. Previous to this I had always worked and my peer group all had their babies in their twenties, so when he started nursery I knew no-one even though the school was local..
I had two other babies. One was 18 months and the new baby was 12 days old.
I saw the other mums in their little friendship groups. The young ones tended to migrate to one another and of the others they all seemed to know each other.
It's nice to be able to relate to someone about bringing children up. You can feel isolated even though you are busy.
Some mums would be friendly and ask questions and then blank you.
I found going into the playground to be awkward at times especially when someone who had said hello looked the other way.
Eventually I accepted the territory for the want of a better word and relaxed a bit.
When my children made friends I would talk to their mums and did make friends but not anything close.
One mum went out of her way to be friendly because my son was pals with her little boy. We would walk home together after school. We got on well. We were friendly for a while - you know, we would sit together at school performances, save seats and that sort of thing. I thought she was OK I really did, and then one day I came into the playground and she was walking towards me. I said 'Hi' and she totally blanked me.
I thought she had not seen me.
Next time saw her she looked straight through me.
She stopped speaking to me completely. I did not know why. Then I saw she had got in with a group of other mums so I was ditched:)
Then one day when we were all queueing outside nursery for our children she came up to me and started talking as if nothing had happened. this is after six months of total blanking. I looked at her -the barmy bitch - and ignored her.
Like I say these are parents of children at the same school, and not a friendship group. You live and learn.
I met other mums who were fine, but most of us were busy and worked so we did not have time for the cliqueyness and the silly posturing.
There was one other time when I made a huge mistake. I was on friendly terms with another mum. I thought she was lovely. She had two children, and the youngest was the same age as my youngest. She was really pretty and always nicely dressed.
One day walking into the playground I saw her and she looked very pregnant. I had no idea. I asked her if she was, which was a common question with mums of babies.
She said 'no I am not', so I apologised profusely. Oh what a stupid thing to ask
After that she ignored me and when I came into the playground to collect my children she was always with a group of mums who stared.
I am glad those days are over