How do you split finances?

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NC and posting on Relationship instead of AIBU so that I hopefully don't get a hard time

I'm just wondering how people split their finances with their DPs?

DP is completely against the idea of pooling money- I've tried for years to get him to do this but he doesn't want to. Fine.

So for those who don't pool money together, how do you go about things? I outearn DP so 50/50 wouldn't be fair. Do you do % of income? I earn 63% of the "house money" so should I pay 63% of the bills?

At the moment, the bills are not split equally and even bills which are his responsibility, I seem to be paying for more and more (e.g food shop. I seem to be paying for this now because I use contactless (covid) and he doesn't)

Why is he so against pooling money? My dh and I have a joint account, started when we moved in together before we married, both put in half of all the bills and some for food shopping each month. We still have separate personal accounts as well. Dh earns about 10k more than me so he usually pays for dinner when we go out or takeaways.

We have a joint account too which we opened when we moved in together.
I suggested all our wages go in here and we each transfer x amount of "fun money" for ourselves, but he wouldn't do it.

Instead it became you pay for x bills and I'll pay for y bills.

As I said, I don't think 50/50 is fair. It would leave him with a lot less than me.

Have you written out all the bills each month and worked out how much comes in then see which bills each of you can cover? Seems like you need to sit down and work it out together

He doesn't use contactless? Why not? If he perceives it to be risky, it is equally risky for you, so he should protect you from paying his bills by contactless too and sort it out!

But if you are paying “ his “ bills that’s not fair either !

We pool money.
60% into everyday account for mortgage, bills, food etc.
20% into splurge fo outings, haircuts etc,
20% into savings for holidays, new cars/ kitchens.
Maybe you could try a version of this that suits you?

We have separate accounts that wages go into. Then we transfer 50% of bills each into it. We use a cashback credit card to pay for food and anything else joint but not a direct debit for the previous month, then pay 50% each of that bill.

He earns about 50% more than me, but my wages are still considerable and I have plenty left over so I'm happy for 50/50. In return, he puts a good chunk into savings each month that's used for holidays and big purchases. I put away a small amount into long term investments.

In your situation however, I'd do the same but make the percentages proportional to wages.

Do you have children? Do you both work full time?

I earn more than my husband 60:40
So I pay 60% of household bills except food which we split 50:50. We also pay for our own mobile phones and car related expenses. Whatever is left is ours to spend, works out we have roughly the same spending money each month Which is ours to do whatever we want with.

@Love51 He has just always been like that. Withdraws money and spends the cash. He said it helps him keep track of his spending. I'm the opposite and rarely have cash on me. So with most places now preferring card/contactless it's always me paying because he only has cash.

@Weenurse I've suggested this too. He won't go for it.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers no children. Both work full time. Him 30hpw me 40hpw.

When I was working, we used to split the bills by the % that we brought in. So DH pays considerably more as he earns considerable more. We did ensure that we both had an even amount of ‘fun’ money left etc

Now I’m a SAHM, he pays for everything

Mortgage and all household bills are split 50/50 considering that's what DH would be entitled to in a divorce - then there are "my" bills and "his" bills - eg I earn 3x DH so I pay the childcare, he has some music related direct debits

Although we pay both salaries into a joint account I have a spreadsheet which shows what each of our "spending" money is and that gets transferred day after all bills go out (all go out on the 1st)

We pay proportionately (based on our income) into an account which covers all bills etc.

I out-earn DP, so the way we do it, is that I have a spreadsheet with all out outgoings (bills, home maintenance, holidays) and how much they come to over the year, which we then pro-rata in accordance with our salaries. I pay about 66% of the bills, he pays 34% and then whatever we have left over is for us to spend on what we like. It works fine. I keep track of all the budgeting (I like personal finance) and monitor accounts to ensure all bills are paid etc.

Excellent, so it seems the consensus is split based on income. I'll see what kind of reaction this gets... I think he'll take bad with the reduction of "fun money".

The big problem with pro rata to salary is the mortgage - in the event of a split the house is usually divided 50/50 therefore If you are the higher earner you are going to be financially worse off as you will have paid more of the mortgage but your partner takes some of your share

Mortgage should always be 50/50

DH earns more than me as I work very part time. We don't have a joint account and I don't want one but we do have an account in my name which all our bills, food shops, kids activity fees etc. are paid from.

DH pays twice as much into it as he earns more. The rest of our money is our own to spend on whatever. DH generally pays for meals out and more towards holidays and I pay for stuff when out with the kids.

I'd definitely have all bills and other household expenses coming out of one account and work out a fair proportion each to pay into it.

He's an apprentice cocklodger. Do not have children with him.

And stop subbing him. Have some backbone!

Me and hubby earn about the same so what we did is worked out how much we need each month for bills and food then spilt it so each month we put the same amount in and whatever is left in our accounts is our own.

We have discussed that if either of us earned more we'd keep it this way unless it was a struggle for the person on the lower salary.

Our wages go in to our personal accounts. Each month we both transfer an amount to a joint "bills account". Theoretically this is proportional to our incomes but as we earn roughly the same it's 50/50. The amount we put in is all our annual bills (Inc food) added up, divided by 12 and an extra couple of hundred as a buffer. All bills are paid out of that account and a chunk is funnelled off via standing order to another joint account which we use for supermarket shops and other joint day to day spending (meals out, kids stuff etc). Sometimes this needs topping up but there's usually enough in the bills account to do it without any trouble. When the topping up gets regular we up our standing order.

When we build up a decent buffer we spend it on some work on the house or a holiday. Everything left in our personal accounts is our own and we save individually. So our only joint savings are what's leftover from bills.

Our set up: I have double DH's income. We put the same amount into the family pot for most bills and I pay two big bills separately so we have approximately the same amount left over. But DH tends to save and spend that money on the family anyway.

You don't need to pool money, just both transfer a set amount into the joint account each month and use that for all bills and food, then keep the remainder for yourselves.

Backbone is what I'm trying to find @RhymesWithOrange I am subbing him massively, to the extent that I'm chewing through my savings and into my overdraft every month!

Things need to change and I need to find out the fairest way of doing things.

At the moment all he pays is council tax and food, I pay the rest. I've just scrolled back through my banking though and I've basically paid for all the shopping and more for the past 3 months!

We have personal accounts and a joint account. We get paid into our personal accounts and transfer most of that into the joint account. We earn roughly the same so pretty much throw the same amount into the pot. From the joint account we pay all bills, savings, mortgage etc and use it for when we are out together. We use our personal accounts how we see fit.