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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP said a very strange thing tonight ?!

712 replies

Underpressure13 · 28/08/2020 20:55

DP has called by tonight to hang out for the evening with me and the kids .
When he came through the door the first thing he said was ‘ok so where are these sausage rolls to reheat ?’
Earlier today my mum who was caring for the kids whilst I worked, cooked some sausage rolls and left the remaining ones we didn’t eat in oven for me to reheat for DP and kids tonight.
There’s no way he’d have known of this as both myself , nor my mum have mentioned this to him today and he knew they were in there without being told or even looking . They hadn’t recently been cooked and place didn’t smell of them.
When I questioned him on how he knew, he just said ‘ oh, instinct I guess’ no further explanation Shock
Is it strange he said that? I can’t quite work this out !!

OP posts:
tiredanddangerous · 28/08/2020 23:28

Trolling about sausages? That's a new one on me!

Hopelesslydevoted0 · 28/08/2020 23:33

This is spooky! I really hope he's just winding you up and he's spoken to your mum or something

AbyssusAbyssumInvocat · 28/08/2020 23:34

Does your mother Regularly cook sausage rolls meaning the two come together so he knew they would be there?

Hairs are up on the back of my neck at the thought of him watching you!

WhenAWrenVisits · 28/08/2020 23:38

Creepy. A friend once found a secret camera in the smoke detector. Do you have one in the kitchen? You could check it.

BoomBoomsCousin · 28/08/2020 23:40

There are a myriad of ways he could have legitimately found out about the sausage rolls, from accidentally bumping into someone who knew about them to someone in the house pocket calling him. None of them are particularly likely by themselves and most can be ruled out if you investigate. But it’s certainly possible he found out by chance. However, bugging a house is very easy if you have some access to it. The vast majority of people would not ever do it but if you have some concerns about him In terms of boundaries/jealousy/controlling character anyway it’s certainly something to consider. It was odd, not just in knowing there were sausage rolls but in knowing they were intended to be reheated this evening.

Shitfuckoh · 28/08/2020 23:47

@WhenAWrenVisits

Creepy. A friend once found a secret camera in the smoke detector. Do you have one in the kitchen? You could check it.
Who put it there? Shock I'm sitting here looking at my smoke detector now wondering how I'd know if there was anything in there! Grin
ZoeTurtle · 28/08/2020 23:51

Honestly, he sounds like the wurst.

FunorFitness · 28/08/2020 23:51

My ex used to spy on me when he was out. He had a 'doggy cam' from Amazon and an App on his phone. Are there any other alarm bells ringing OP?

Underpressure13 · 28/08/2020 23:56

Ok , having put the kids to bed and come to bed myself to read all of your replies ( DP went home ages ago ) I can reply.
So - first it’s a very unfortunate coincidence that this was a sausage type food ( for those who remember that old thread ) Please be assured that I’m definitely not a sausage obsessed person and have long got over the fact that he and that group are not gay, just computer nerds who sometimes send weird photos . That’s been well and truly put to bed a long time ago , a long with other suspicions , which I decided to put down to lockdown stress / too much time on my hands/ slight paranoia / coincidences . Anyway , basically I gave him the benefit of the doubt with all that strangeness and we moved on .
Things have been going along pretty well these last couple of months and I thought we were in a good place until this weird thing tonight , which has freaked me out quite a bit now. We’re getting ready to spend a weekend camping together with my DC and I was looking forward . It’s literally the worst timing for something odd like this to have happened now .
After I initially questioned him tonight , he was very quiet and a bit more withdrawn than usual . He didn’t bring it up again and I couldn’t as we were all in the kitchen all night ( DC’s included ) . I fully intend to bring it up tomorrow and see what his response is again .
It’s hugely unlikely that my mum messaged him- but I will check tomorrow .He works from home on computers and has a stressful job so she wouldn’t have bothered him.
Sausage rolls isn’t my mums speciality- they were going off so i suggested she cook them for lunch for the kids. When I came home for my break we discussed popping them back in the oven as I told mum he’d like to have them probably when he came tonight .
Our front door leads straight into the kitchen where myself and the kids were , so they didn’t have time to tell him and would have forgotten since lunch anyway .
Even if he smelled them upon walking in , even after 6 hours of being cold (they were on the top shelf of a dark oven ground level - he couldn’t have seen them ) Surely he’d have said ‘ ooh did you cook sausage rolls , I can smell them’ or ‘ ah your mum messaged and told me to enjoy the sausage rolls you left ‘etc etc . But ... instinct ?! He just sort of looked half blankly half smirky maybe - like it didn’t rattle him anyway .
I really wish the food type had been different Grin
Anyway - I genuinely have been really working on my trust issues with him - and I absolutely want to believe this is somehow innocent. I’ve had enough drama in this 2.5 yr relationship.
I guess it just scares me now to imagine there could be a way he’s knowing what I’m up to Confused
I don’t have an Alexa but I do have a Bluetooth speaker he bought me which is always at home and almost always on .
Other than that one other weird thing which may link to this was that a few weeks ago we were going through his photos on his laptop and there was one from February which was a picture of the back of my iPhone ( model etc ) I questioned him and he didn’t really have an answer other than ‘ sorry I’m a geek , I thought I might get one similar / was interested what you had ‘. I figured out he’d taken the photo whilst we were out with the kids and I’d had to go and sort something out ( and hadn’t told me he’d done it ) .
I’ve tried to let that slide but it’s been on my mind recently . I wonder if its linked . Yikes. What do you all think . I really hope this is nothing Sad

OP posts:
SwearyMaclary · 28/08/2020 23:59

Sausage troll?

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 29/08/2020 00:05

The only plausible explanation is that he is stalking/ listening into your device. There literally is no other explanation other than he and your mum are having an affair and she told him about the sausage rolls but I think you know that's ridiculous. Oh ... or that he's psychic but that's a rubbish explanation too.

Underpressure13 · 29/08/2020 00:05

Please forget the whole ‘ sausage troll’ idea - it’s so far from the truth it’s ridiculous. A coincidence, admittedly yes, but that’s where it ends ( I have laughed a lot at all the jokes though Smile)

OP posts:
BitchTitties · 29/08/2020 00:09

Yeesh, I’m not liking the sound of this. Especially if he’s a computer geek - he’d know exactly how to spy on you!

12309845653ghydrvj · 29/08/2020 00:11

This is mental... it gets weirder now that you’ve had a chat and it hasn’t straightened out. It also doesn’t sound like the response of someone who genuinely said something biazarre and happened to be right—what would be the chances? But he’s playing it down, and that’s suspicious.
You said he works with computers? So thinking he would have the capability to install something is not crazy...

PeraltasWife · 29/08/2020 00:13

If you want to check if hes spying on you, maybe set a trap. Either do something or say something so strange that it would have to pique his interest when you are all alone and see if he brings it up.

MitziK · 29/08/2020 00:15

Why are you still with him? He's creepy and is obviously spying on you because he still doesn't trust you.

That speaker needs to have an accident. And check out things like behind lamps, photo frames, lightbulbs, clocks and switches/plugs behind the sofa.

DopamineHits · 29/08/2020 00:17

I do have a Bluetooth speaker he bought me which is always at home and almost always on

Get rid of it. Google ways to find out whether your phone has been bugged/hacked. And look around very carefully for anything in your kitchen that could be carrying a spy camera.

He's spying on you, aurally if not visually. If your DM messaged him, he would have said so. You need to dump this creep.

PointlessUsername · 29/08/2020 00:18

If you dont trust him anyway, why be together?

RLEOM · 29/08/2020 00:22

Hmmm... there are some weirdos out there! Is your birthday coming up? Is there any chance he had a secret chat with your mum to arrange something special?

itsmeagainagain · 29/08/2020 00:24

@SwearyMaclary

Sausage troll?
Grin
itsmeagainagain · 29/08/2020 00:26

maybe the Walls (sausages) have ears....

ViciousJackdaw · 29/08/2020 00:28

I dunno, it all sounds a bit flaky to me...

Namechange8471 · 29/08/2020 00:35

Oh op he’s clearly spying on you. Please stop coming up with excuses and be serious about this.
At the very least dump the freak, what if he’s spying on your kids too?

chickenyhead · 29/08/2020 00:36

Might have something like this on your phone.

Definitely not a keeper.

DP said a very strange thing tonight ?!
Mothership4two · 29/08/2020 00:39

OP a lot of your posts are about odd things to do with your phone or computer and being suspicious of your DP's behaviour. Even your "gay" thread was mainly to do with how he reacted when you were trying to look on his phone. It all sounds very odd. He obviously has a way of listening in. This is a red flag. All your tech needs to be debugged. Is there anything in your home that could be a nannycam?

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