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Original poster

DP said a very strange thing tonight ?!

712 replies

Underpressure13 · 28/08/2020 20:55

DP has called by tonight to hang out for the evening with me and the kids .
When he came through the door the first thing he said was ‘ok so where are these sausage rolls to reheat ?’
Earlier today my mum who was caring for the kids whilst I worked, cooked some sausage rolls and left the remaining ones we didn’t eat in oven for me to reheat for DP and kids tonight.
There’s no way he’d have known of this as both myself , nor my mum have mentioned this to him today and he knew they were in there without being told or even looking . They hadn’t recently been cooked and place didn’t smell of them.
When I questioned him on how he knew, he just said ‘ oh, instinct I guess’ no further explanation Shock
Is it strange he said that? I can’t quite work this out !!

OP posts:
imissthesouth · 29/08/2020 22:32

Right let's clear this up, since everyone's in a frenzy over realtek.Its a management software for the speakers, it's on every windows computer yes, but the microphone should not be always active like OP described.

roking · 29/08/2020 22:43

Really hope you get to the bottom of this OP. The sound device thing does sound very suspect

Xanadu44 · 29/08/2020 22:45

Is your laptop always on or would it not be more likely to be linked to your phone?

Wouldcouldcantwont · 29/08/2020 23:02

If you clicked on the icon, the software would have opened and started working (as it is meant to). The real question is whether the software is running without you clicking on it. I’m sorry but I don’t know how to check that.

Namechange2020onceagain · 29/08/2020 23:17

You would have to give permission for the mic to be accessed. Like when you first used facetime on facebook, it would ask for permission to access your video and audio. It is not spyware. But it COULD be used by a program that he installed to be always listening. There is no way to know without getting it checked by a professional.

toiletpaper · 29/08/2020 23:17

Surely the audio thing would only work if the laptop is on though? And if you're connecting via your iPhones hotspot I can't imagine you leave it on permanently or you'd have no gb left.

Namechange2020onceagain · 29/08/2020 23:18

@toiletpaper

Surely the audio thing would only work if the laptop is on though? And if you're connecting via your iPhones hotspot I can't imagine you leave it on permanently or you'd have no gb left.
You would be amazed at what a tech savvy person can do.
WagnersFourthSymphony · 29/08/2020 23:46

Heavens, so much speculation! A tech savvy person would outwit any amateur, so there's scarcely any point in looking. Even if you find nothing, you will still be worried.

What it boils down to is that you have big trust issues with your DP. That doesn't make for a good relationship. Whether they're justified or not (and I'd always be inclined to trust your gut), will you ever be free of them where this man is concerned? If not, and you indicate not, he's not worth the effort. Certainly not worth exposing your children to more time with him.

However lovely and caring he may be, it's not really a question of whether your fears are well grounded or not. Your fears are there. They trouble you. It's never going to be a good basis for a relationship. Best to get out, now, before you get further entangled.

imissthesouth · 30/08/2020 00:02

@Namechange2020onceagain
Have you read the thread? DP has been using her computer and is the admin, any spyware would have been installed by him and HE gave the permissions; not her

ladybird69 · 30/08/2020 00:08

I had this with my ex. He knew everything that I was doing and going. Ie I met up with friend 30 miles away for a Costa , that night he asked me whether I’d enjoyed my costa today! He got off on my going crazy trying to work out how he knew everything I was doing. He must have had computer, phone, house bugged. Wish I’d known that I could have got him arrested it would have wiped that smirk off his face.
Op this isn’t just a red flag it’s a whole banner full of them. Get you and your kids away from him please.

wohmum · 30/08/2020 00:17

@CarrieFour

The Realtek could be the PC onboard microphone though.

You're going to need to leave the computer in one place and make noises around and see if it still picks up.

Realtek is a common brand for in built microphones/speakers on computers.

This _ nothing untoward about the onboard mic picking you up
wohmum · 30/08/2020 00:21

@YellowLellow

Just me who thinks that the fact he knew the sausage rolls were in the fridge means what he said in itself really isn't that weird?
I agree - if you buy sausage rolls, you’d normally reheat then
angieloumc · 30/08/2020 00:28

Whether or not he's spying on you (and it sounds like he is), this really isn't a healthy relationship. Please get out of it, for your sake, and your DC's.

Mummyshark2019 · 30/08/2020 00:38

Ltb asap.

Receptionwoes · 30/08/2020 00:41

There are children here fgs.

Namechange8471 · 30/08/2020 00:42

How old are your kids op?
Please check their rooms/bathroom for recording devices etc. May seem a long shot but you never know.

overnightangel · 30/08/2020 00:53

The fact that you think he’s capable of this shows the trust is gone.
Bye bye

custardbear · 30/08/2020 00:56

I can't believe you didn't just say 'how did you possibly know about the sausage rolls?! '

user1481840227 · 30/08/2020 01:05

Just went back to read the OP in your other post where you went into a full on wrestling match with him to see what was on his phone...it's definitely worse to be covertly spying if that's what he's doing....but even if he's not it's clearly a terrible relationship...you wrestle his phone off him to see what's on it...and you're paranoid that he's spying on you too.

Leave. What is the point in a relationship like that?

WindyRose · 30/08/2020 02:16

Just take your laptop/phone/etc to the police station, they will be able to help, don't stop at a local tech store they could be his mates. The police will want to see evidence so don't make any changes to anything just yet.

Also make sure your Mum knows your 'every' move and keep your children safe.

As I said previously, he's listening to everything in your house and reading this.....again, Hi Mr Sneaky!

Agree with other posters you will never trust him again and I think once you know the depth of his spying, that will be enough confirmation.

Flowers
Inarightpickleandpreserve · 30/08/2020 02:33

My daughter (she’s insanely good at technology but still 12!) just told me how this works, it’s not tech savvy it’s common knowledge if you look it up and know what some of the words mean.

I hope you can see that it’s not a
Tech Savvy Man doing stuff you would never understand because that’s simply not true you can get to the bottom of it

Inarightpickleandpreserve · 30/08/2020 02:35

I know my daughter should not be awake at this hour however has had dreadful ‘starting her period’ and a few floods so I’m trying to take her mind off it with things she likes

Tinkerbell456 · 30/08/2020 03:07

Hmmmm. Is he psychic? 😬 More interesting.

onlinelinda · 30/08/2020 04:51

Such a simple solution. Bin him and wipe the computer.

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