Is this a penis beaker??????

[Thereturnofthepenisbeaker]

This is in DP’s bedside drawer! We live in our own separate houses, but I stay over there twice a week. Went to get my hairdryer out his drawer and opened the wrong one by mistake, and there it was. The rest of his drawers (like his house) are neat and tidy with no crap in them, so cannot see why on earth it’s in there. and no, I haven’t asked him. Yet.
It’s a water bottle cut in half with silicone round the top. I’ve popped a vape pen in to give you an idea of size. It also some very very short hairs on the silicone.
He has ED issues and told me spends most nights when I’m not there choking the chicken. Is this some sort of cock ring? Or penis beaker?

It's very shallow isn't it?

Is his knob very short and fat?

Just told dh what a sailors worm jar was...he told me to never speak to him again

He would probably faint if he ever knew all the crap we google on here

I can't believe I've just seen a photo of someone's home made wanking device lol

@Jocasta2018

If it is what I think it is (like most of the other posters on her)e I hope you're not going to be using the vape pen again...

Just checked on lovehoney and you can get fleshlights from £40-70 - maybe you could buy him one? They have ones that help build up stamina which could ease his ED?

I've also just seen that there are shower wall mounts for fleshlights. Grim ideas now running through my mind🤭!

Anticipating a flurry of MN posts: Just seen on our search history DW has been on LoveHoney’s website. Recent searches include ‘fleshlight’, ‘sailors worm jar’ and ‘dragon butter’ WWYD?

Good old mumsnet has given me a right chuckle this morning.

Embarrassingly I've just posted about this on a thread about sending a flak of cauliflower soup for school dinners.

I'll get my coat...

@Hopeisnotastrategy

Embarrassingly I've just posted about this on a thread about sending a flak of cauliflower soup for school dinners.

I'll get my coat...

Go home! You’re drunk

I wouldn’t be sending this to school in any case

so he's no good in bed, on dating sites and too cheap to purchase an actual genuine product for his own satisfaction

Move on...move far and move fast!!

@Soubriquet Go home! You're drunk! 😁

🤣🤣🤣 Not guilty, the sun's not over the yard arm yet! 😄

@Lobelia123

FFS - you are so out of line. Stop invading his privacy - whatever it is, put your salacious glee away and leave it alone, its actually none of your business. People are allowed to do and have things in private that are not held up for public inspection and ridicule and you have no right to be in his business like this. Its nothing to do with you.

Name changed OP here

And I am entitled to not be lied to. I was in a (Previously) sexual relationship with him, so where he put his Dick was very much my business.

No it’s like a Soft little worm. When ‘erect’ it’s like a longer droopy worm,

Hey your name change is back

And longer droopy worm...lovely

Can’t see why you would stay with the bloke

So my search history for this week has been upped a notch to include Urethra sounding and sailor worm jars. My brain and browser history needs cleansing.

@TitsOutForHarambe

Penis beaker is the wrong term - it's a makeshift flesh light, or whatever else you want to call a fake vag.

Why is everyone being so weird about it? Is It disgusting and pervy if a woman has a vibrator?

Ok without getting too pedantic, he was putting his dick somewhere else instead of me and lying about it. And it’s also far too big for his soft little length of play dough. that is weird

I don't agree this is your business just because you have a sexual relationship OP

If he was sleeping with other people, yes, but what he does on his own is his business

I don't blame you for putting this on Mumsnet though

It looks like a home made flesh light. The homemade aspect is the most unappealing aspect of this, if it was a proper one at least it would be akin to a vibrator.

But the way you talk about this man “chocking his chicken” and his “soft little worm” is weird and degrading. You either hate him or this is some sort of fetish post (degrading him for sexual pleasure).

I posted that before reading OPs bame chsnhed updates (I clicked show all OP and saw like 3 posts so didn’t see the updates she made from another account). Hope you bin him off properly
OP.

Maybe leave a note in the Blur Peter Vag?

🤮🤮🤮

This thread just keeps on giving

Life’s too short to be with someone you don’t respect.

“You either hate him or this is some sort of fetish post (degrading him for sexual pleasure).”

In light of “her” last two posts I’m going with fetish, but probably more likely to be a man posting.

Whatever floats your boat mate.

@Hopeisnotastrategy

Embarrassingly I've just posted about this on a thread about sending a flak of cauliflower soup for school dinners.

I'll get my coat...

😂😂😂is this in the DM yet?!

I've no idea whether this is a fetish thing nor whether OP is genuine or a troll.

But if you assume they are a genuine poster AND what they are saying is true, then you have to accept that:

(1) OP says partner posted dick pics on the internet. Now I accept the idea of "what he does in his own time with the assistance of some kind of sex toy is his business" is a valid point BUT posting pics on the internet is searching for other new (or concurrent) relationships and that is cheating

(2) A more nebulous point is,the more you divert your energy away from one source of pleasure (OP) due to concentrating on another form of pleasure(s) the more likely OP is going to be sexually frustrated and it is doomed. IE if OP and her partner were having fantastic sex on a regular basis and felt desired she is much more likely to have been able to laugh off (or at least not feel angry / despise him for his home made gadget.
(3) By a similar token although the home made gadget looks a bit cringe, if the lines of communication had been there in the first place where he could say "I have ED" then OP might have been able to say what can we do/ can I buy you something off the internet etc. Instead he seemed to try to solve it himself which just looked duplicitious when she found the hidden home made gadget.

Not saying this is the case here but its like saying "well i look at porn 23 hours a day and the last hour I try to have sex with you and itdoes not work, so Ive just decided to go back to looking at porn (or cheating or whatever) = total lack of trust and no communication.

You're welcome

Ruth Westheimer

Ok without getting too pedantic, he was putting his dick somewhere else instead of me and lying about it.
And it’s also far too big for his soft little length of play dough. that is weird

Why are you still trying to flog this clearly dead horse?

Update: thanks for all your comments (even the moaners, you’re all entitled to your opinions and it’s good to get balanced opinions).
I’ve been through his phone. With his permission. He’s been using sex workers from since before I knew him, and during lockdown cam girls. All young enough to be his granddaughters. His search history is full of pure filth including dogging, so yes, moaners I can really see your concerns for his privacy are quite valid.
His defence is that he “doesn’t get embarrassed about his floppy dick and extremely premature ejaculation with them” and that they were “ just spunk buckets” to him. His words, not mine. His only concern was not that he’d hurt me and lost me, but whether I would tell anyone. And yes, I suppose I have, but very much anonymously. Most of you won’t know him in real life, but sadly for any sex workers you may have had a very brief meeting with him and his floppy friend.
This post was never intended to be funny or ‘classic’, what I now know has broken my heart. But thank you for all the funny comments, despite everything they made me laugh.
I will be disposing of the vape pen (I wouldn’t dare use it outside in case one of you lot saw me and recognised me 🙈) and I’m definitely name changing after this!!!!!!
Ps watch out single moaners who sympathise with him, he’s coming to a dating site near you, with or without his clothes