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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Going out of my mind, has my cheating ex husband totally f****d my trust or are these red flags with new partner?

239 replies

SadSausage44 · 25/08/2020 13:34

Hi, I'm going out of my mind with anxiety atm about something that had happened re my bf of ten months and a work colleague of his last week and could really with some perspective and opinions please.....
My ex husband lied and cheated on me in the most horrible of ways before I left him. After spending a while on my own I started dating present bf I met him on tinder 10 months ago.
We have a brilliant time, sex, friendship, a huge amount in common. He has 3 children who I haven't met yet, but he has recently told his ex wife about me with a view to meeting the kids etc.
I went to his house yesterday and there was a new plant/plantpot sitting on his windowsill.
I commented on it as it's really nice and asked him when he got it, I'm always at his house and have never seen it before so must be recent!
He said, oh, a friend got it for me.... which friend, I asked? Oh just *** he answered. I asked him when he saw her as he never mentioned it or her to me... and he said oh she came to my house last thursday for a work session, I had to give her some stuff and do some training etc.
So the weird thing is, he did mention last week he had a full on day with work and training etc, but he always works from home and when we were whatsapping throughout the day, he just said he was on calls etc and not once mentioned that this younger, attractive, intelligent woman who he has been mentoring was at his house for several hours. Just said he was super busy on calls and would be hard at work until bedtime.
So I said to him yesterday I found it strange that he hadn't mentioned the fact she'd been with him, if one of my work colleagues had been over I would have mentioned it in passing and it made me feel somewhat uncomfortable, not her being there, but the fact that he hadn't told me... that has now made me feel v uncomfortable about it all!
She's only been working with him for 2 months, I've found her online, she is very pretty and he has written a glowing commentary on her work skills.
When I asked him why she had bought him a plant, he said it's because she knows I'm moving house.
He gave me a cuddle and said I have absolutely nothing to worry about, we went for dinner and I've tried to put it to the back of my mind.
But alarm bells are ringing and I can't work out if it's because my head and ability to trust are in tatters because of what my ex did to me or if in fact it's not cool and I should listen to my gut about this...
I should add he told his ex wife about me the day this girl was over at his house so surely if he was having second thoughts or anything was going on he probably wouldn't?
I'm not going to see him for a week now as he is super busy with his kids etc but now I'm just suspicious about bloody everything and I'm terrified of ruining an otherwise amazing relationship...
Aaaargh, hate this Confused

OP posts:
EinsteinaGogo · 25/08/2020 20:18

I'm really sorry to say that it does sound very odd, OP.

Firstly - why on earth have they recommended each other on LinkedIn? Extremely strange behaviour if she's only been working with / for him for 2 months. Much more usual to recommend ex-colleagues than current, especially new ones.

Secondly - of course it's not normal for him to omit that Rebecca / Sarah / Pauline was in his house with him that day. It's BIG NEWS when anyone comes round at the moment, let alone a work colleague in unusual circumstances.

Sorry OP. Something is not right and you're right to pick up on it.

SadSausage44 · 25/08/2020 20:34

Ok, so after another look on the site, it transpires they worked together for a while last summer, hence the work recommendation.
She is now working with him again at a new company, has been for 2 months, perhaps it is true it's just a working relationship, I still find it strange she's bringing him housewarming gifts for a house he hasn't moved into yet and she spent several hours at his house and he omitted to mention this when we were chatting.
In all other areas he is the most attentive, kind, gorgeous man to me.
I'm a bloody mess and need to get a grip. I'm so traumatised by men, perhaps I'm tarring him with the same brush.
I wont know without really grilling him, asking to see messages etc and I'm not going to do that.
I have to decide whether to just trust him or leave.
Awesome.

OP posts:
Lillygolightly · 25/08/2020 20:37

I don’t think he has necessarily cheated, but I’m certain this isn’t all innocent either, and he’s leading himself subconsciously or knowingly down the path of temptation.

What I imagine or think is likely to have happened...they have gotten close at work, probably just friendly but some mild flirting peppered in, but not so much that he is certain she actually likes him like that. He had probably suggested training/work at his place, have lunch/brew/chat etc. An easy invitation for him to float because under the guise of work she can easily say no, and he has the excuse of just offering as it being easier for her to understand XYZ in person or some such excuse. Maybe he didn’t really expect for her to accept this invite and is perhaps a bit shocked that she did. Younger, attractive, if I were him I wouldn’t presume she was interested.

He’s not mentioned this to you because well In broad terms he is doing nothing wrong really, he’s simply invited a colleague over to get some work done. I think he didn’t mention it because I think he didn’t want to implicate himself or feel guilty, because in the back of his mind the reason why he’s invited her is precisely because he likes her.

I’m not saying his intentions were to cheat, but I think his intentions were less than pure, and perhaps he wanted to see if there was anything there (if he’s in with a chance) when spending time together alone and in person. She probably bought the pot plant to be polite and because he was hosting her.

I think the fact he also chose that day to tell his ex about you is also very telling indeed. I wonder if he did this as a way to keep himself in check, to tell himself that what he is doing is innocent and not in fact what he is actually doing, which is considering the idea of cheating with young pretty colleague. He’s just trying desperately to keep up that narrative that he is a good guy who is getting serious with you, and telling his ex about you is proof of that.

I don’t think he can probably even admit fully to himself the reason why he invited this colleague over, let alone admit it to you. It seems he’s deep into convincing himself that it’s all innocent.

I think this is why your spidey senses are tingling OP, not because he’s cheated but because it feels like he almost intends to, or is at least fantasising about it.

All that is by the by though, because what really matters here is you, and how you feel about things. If what I’ve written is true, is it enough for you to leave him? Or would you rather just hope he never cheats and stay? Is him actually cheating a complete dealbreaker? What are your boundaries OP? Where do you want to draw your red lines, something to think about.

I’m sorry if what I’ve typed out had upset you Flowers

SadSausage44 · 25/08/2020 20:44

I'm honestly not upset by anything anyone has said, bar couple of silly posts.
I have so much to think about and wish I'd dug a bit deeper yesterday when we were talking.
I want to believe, so much, that he would never do anything to hurt me.
I'm perplexed about this whole silly situation which could easily have been avoided by just telling me what he had really been doing with his day! It does make me wonder about his true intentions and if I will ever be enough for him and his ego.

OP posts:
Whathewhatnow · 25/08/2020 20:50

Does he have a big ego, Op?

Q: is he bothered and upset by the latest turn of events or pretty chilled and unconcerned? Is he worried that you are feeling sad?

SadSausage44 · 25/08/2020 20:53

He comes across as very, sometimes overly self confident.
My confidence is shattered and on the floor.
He tells me I am beautiful but I'm not going to lie, he has a wandering eye and has blatantly checked out younger pretty girls in front of me on a few occasions. I just laugh it of and pit my uncomfortable feelings down to being insecure after being left in the most horrible way by my ex.

OP posts:
SadSausage44 · 25/08/2020 20:55

He was concerned, hugged me, kissed me, said I had zero to worry about and sort of joked to the dog that I was a little bit jealous and I don't need to be.
He then held me all night as usual and was his lovely normal self as I shut the conversation down by saying if he tells me not to worry then I'll believe him, conversation done.

OP posts:
MollFlanders2020 · 25/08/2020 20:57

Oh bless you, your poor thing. Your intuition is there to warn you to get away from people and / or situations that will destroy you if you hang around for too long. Deep down you know this man’s up to no good. The fact you’ve been cheated on before means you’re more adept than most at spotting the signs that something’s wrong: you’re not paranoid at all.

I feel for you because I’ve spent the last year asking myself if I were being paranoid (based on past experiences of being cheated on and lied to) and I foolishly gave my man the benefit of the doubt. Last week I made a discovery (I found something in his flat that belonged to a woman - which he didn’t bother to hide) and the scales fell from my eyes. I now know that he lied about why his very long marriage really ended, why one of his children doesn’t have much to with him, and that he didn’t go on holiday alone after all. He’s been seeing another woman all along. It hurts because I’ve never met a man like him before and we got on so well. I should’ve listened to my instincts after just two dates that something was off and saved myself a year of anxiety.

It’s not worth making yourself ill over a man. Release him into the wild and be kind to yourself. Next time you’re with someone and your spidey senses start tingling kick him in the nuts and run.

SadSausage44 · 25/08/2020 21:05

Mollflanders so sorry to hear you've had such an awful experience...
My anxiety is through the roof, sadly I only feel soothed and safe when I'm with him.
This is not at all good.

OP posts:
Michaelbaubles · 25/08/2020 21:08

You’re not being insecure to not like him checking out other women when you’re there - it’s horrible behaviour! No man I’ve ever dated has done that (I’m not saying nobody ever caught their eye - but they were man enough to know when to hide it!)

I can’t imagine my current DP ever looking that way at another women when I was with him. It’s like wondering if he’d suddenly jump up and dance the Macarena!

MollFlanders2020 · 25/08/2020 21:20

My anxiety is through the roof, sadly I only feel soothed and safe when I'm with him.

That sounds painfully familiar @SadSausage44. I wonder if it’s because when he’s with you he’s 100 percent present and you know he’s not with anyone else? I felt amazing when I was with my man - so very happy - but when he wasn’t there and I was running suspicious thoughts through my mind I felt awful. It’s not easy, but he’s just a man and I’m beginning to think they’re highly overrated and of limited use. Grin Since I’ve let him go my anxiety (which was through the roof when I discovered what he’d been up to - despite his protestations that he wasn’t up to anything) has disappeared. I’m very upset, but I know from previous experience that it’ll pass and I’ll be okay. I’m not going to make myself ill over him.

LadyLairdArgyll · 25/08/2020 21:31

OP the more you share of his personality the more I dislike him as a 'fit' for you my lovely 🌺

Michaelbaubles · 25/08/2020 21:33

I think @MollFlanders2020 is right - it’s like alcoholics; they feel they need to drink to feel good, when actually it’s not having the drink that makes them feel bad. Drinking just puts them back to where they should normally be, if it weren’t for the long term effects of alcohol depressing their mood.

How you feel with him is how you should always feel. You feel bad without him because he is causing the anxiety.

famousforwrongreason · 25/08/2020 21:40

@Weetabixandcrumpets

You know what? I'm going to take my own advice! Grin
Cute Wink
HappyDays10101 · 25/08/2020 21:42

OK, well with all the new information, the question is not ‘Is he a cheat?’ but ‘Why do you fall for cheats?’

famousforwrongreason · 25/08/2020 21:44

@SadSausage44

That's the problem. I've fallen for him completely. Without solid proof I just don't want to throw away all the amazing other stuff. Perhaps I am being hugely insecure and he did absolutely nothing wrong....
Oh love, Ive just seen the updates re tinder and from you etc. you sound exactly like me this time last year.

We get so fixated on finding concrete evidence and in the meantime not only do we bond closer and closer to them, we also drive ourselves fucking deranged looking for clues and questioning everything they do as well as doubting our own sanity. They know how to gaslight us. We're not the first ones they've done it to. They're very skilled and experienced at this game.

I've namechanged on here many times over the last ten years or so but sometimes I look back at old threads and can't believe how I put myself through it.
Repeatedly.
Look after yourself, you know this one iis another shit.
Trust your gut.

famousforwrongreason · 25/08/2020 21:47

@MollFlanders2020

Oh bless you, your poor thing. Your intuition is there to warn you to get away from people and / or situations that will destroy you if you hang around for too long. Deep down you know this man’s up to no good. The fact you’ve been cheated on before means you’re more adept than most at spotting the signs that something’s wrong: you’re not paranoid at all.

I feel for you because I’ve spent the last year asking myself if I were being paranoid (based on past experiences of being cheated on and lied to) and I foolishly gave my man the benefit of the doubt. Last week I made a discovery (I found something in his flat that belonged to a woman - which he didn’t bother to hide) and the scales fell from my eyes. I now know that he lied about why his very long marriage really ended, why one of his children doesn’t have much to with him, and that he didn’t go on holiday alone after all. He’s been seeing another woman all along. It hurts because I’ve never met a man like him before and we got on so well. I should’ve listened to my instincts after just two dates that something was off and saved myself a year of anxiety.

It’s not worth making yourself ill over a man. Release him into the wild and be kind to yourself. Next time you’re with someone and your spidey senses start tingling kick him in the nuts and run.

I could have written this word for word. Why are some people such cunts?
SoulofanAggron · 25/08/2020 22:06

Oh OP, I would've said that you should see this as a red flag and keep an eye on him going forward. You're not wrong and your feelings aren't due to your previous experience in a bad way.

But then PP's said he was the bloke that was still on dating sites while you'd been seeing him for a while/had gone back on, and now you say he eyes up other girls.

You say you effectively use him as a crutch; but sooner or later that crutch is going to go, as he's keeping all his options open. I think it'll be harder the longer it is before he leaves. I advise finishing with him now- get therapy or see your GP if you need more support. xx

lawandgin · 25/08/2020 22:08

@famousforwrongreason - I thought exactly the same about him perhaps finding her attractive and not wanting to give himself away. It doesn't mean he did (or intended) to do anything. BUT, no one has their subordinate to their house during a pandemic for training. I call bullshit. If he wasn't up to no good, he has at least thought about it.

TwentyViginti · 25/08/2020 22:10

I too think OP would benefit from therapy and maybe the Freedom Programme.

You say you effectively use him as a crutch; but sooner or later that crutch is going to go

Indeed.

SoulofanAggron · 25/08/2020 22:12

Sorry I've had wine so probably didn't put that right.

I had an ex- while with him I thought I had a real phobia of rejection (in general, from anyone.) I thought I had such issues about it and was so afraid of it.

In fact it was my 'relationship' with him that made me feel that way, as he was constantly holding the threat of rejection over my head.

Maybe this is similar. He certainly isn't leading to you being relaxed and happy most of the time. You will probably be surprised how chilled you feel when you get rid of him. I recommend doing it before he does it to you.

category12 · 25/08/2020 22:13

OP: My anxiety is through the roof, sadly I only feel soothed and safe when I'm with him.
MollFlanders: That sounds painfully familiar @SadSausage44. I wonder if it’s because when he’s with you he’s 100 percent present and you know he’s not with anyone else?

This ^

You're tearing yourself apart over this man, and he's actually at the root of your insecurity. You've told us how incredibly flirty he is, how he checks out other women in front of you, there's the previous threads about him ...

He's wrong for you. It shouldn't be this hard. Love shouldn't be painful.

Dery · 25/08/2020 22:31

"In all other areas he is the most attentive, kind, gorgeous man to me."

Dear OP - this may well be true. He's clearly someone who knows how to charm. But unfortunately - having seen all your updates and comments from other posters - it sounds like he is equally capable of being attentive, kind and gorgeous to other women.

This is the source of your intense anxiety. This isn't about emotional scars caused by your cheating ex-husband. This is about you realising that you cannot trust your partner and you need someone you can trust. Even if he isn't intending to actively cheat on you, he created an exceptional situation where he spent a day alone at home with an attractive female colleague and concealed it from you until it was dragged out of him by chance. He knows that what he did wasn't right but he still did it. And it turns out that this is yet another example of treating you carelessly.

Some women would be able to cope with this but you are too emotionally invested to do so. You need someone you can trust but deep down you know that you cannot trust this man. While it would hurt you to end the relationship, a relationship which is causing you such intense anxiety - with good reason - cannot be good for you long term. A good relationship makes you feel secure - including when you're apart from your partner.

Upherefordancing · 25/08/2020 22:57

Actually OP I do think this might be salvageable.

From reading all your posts, your BF sounds like a young, attractive and successful man who attracts a lot of female attention and subsequently has an enlarged ego.

But he also sounds quite kind and attentive when pressed, so there's a good chance he genuinely cares for you, but is just being majorly led by his dick at the moment, innocently or not.

IMO if you just alter your behaviour a little and become a bit more aloof and detached from the relationship for the time being, without it seeming an obvious negative reaction (ie be more confident) I think you may find you can turn him around in a short space of time. I say this from personal experience (not my own but friends). It's easier than you think to turn yourself into The Catch!

SadSausage44 · 25/08/2020 23:02

I agree upherefordancing, however this is what I feel I've been doing.
Falling in love with him has thrown a bit of a spanner in the works and I'm finding it hard not to show my vulnerability, which you do need to be able to do in a relationship.
I'll try to reel it in a bit.
He has told me he has abandonment issues and went back on tinder because he was scared I was going to get back with my ex, I was having a wobble I must admit.
I wonder if he needs lots of female attention for some kind of affirmation of his worth...
If he does he's sadly not the man for me.

OP posts:
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