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Original poster

DH had sex with a prostitute

289 replies

TurkeyTrot · 21/08/2020 22:20

He seems to think that because he told me, apologized and didn't enjoy it much, it is somehow ok.
I think he's a massive twat and we need to split, but the logistics are complicated, as in we would need to give up the family home and decide where the DC (3 teenagers) would live and who with.
They don't know about it and DH doesn't want to separate.
WWYD if your DH told you that?
Would you split? Would you tell the teens why, so they didn't think you split for no reason?

OP posts:
Mammatino · 21/08/2020 23:17

Goodbye arsehole. I’m sorry you’re going through this, he has no respect for you or your family.

PyongyangKipperbang · 21/08/2020 23:18

Why did he do it?

Not that it makes any difference, it is still the end of the road (I got caught up in logistics trying to leave my abusive ex, its not that bad once you grasp the nettle) but I am curious as to his reasoning.

PyongyangKipperbang · 21/08/2020 23:19

I agree with PP that it is totally different to a pissed up ONS. Thats shit but you dont accidentally give someone money to stick your dick inside them. You just dont.

This was a decision that was made and then planned.

Voice0fReason · 21/08/2020 23:21

He told you to offload his guilt.
So he's a shit for doing it and he's a shit for telling you about it and expecting you to be ok with it.

All you need to tell the kids is that he did something that you find unacceptable and unforgivable.

The relationship would be over for me.

Tistheseason17 · 21/08/2020 23:21

So sorry Flowers

whereistherum · 21/08/2020 23:23

@angelofthelight

You've not said if it happened before he got together with you?
This is what I was going to ask. Has it been during your relationship or before?
0hforfoxsake · 21/08/2020 23:29

It’s a dealbreaker for me.

Get some legal advice on the housing situation, don’t assume you will have to move.

GisAFag · 21/08/2020 23:30

Nothing is so complicated that it cannot be worked out unless you don't want to put the work in.

SandyY2K · 21/08/2020 23:32

I wouldn't stay in the marriage. I couldn't...because I wouldn't want to be intimate with him ever again... so it would be pointless. I wouldn't let him touch me again.

I'm not sure I'd want my kids to know he slept with a prostitute... they don't need that burden of knowing their dad is so disgusting. I world want to protect them...but I'd be clear there is a reason for the split and it's not my fault.

thepeopleversuswork · 21/08/2020 23:37

@GisAFag

Nothing is so complicated that it cannot be worked out unless you don't want to put the work in.
eh?

Her husband paid a woman to put his dick into her behind the OP's back and now its up to the OP to "put the work in"?

Why on earth would anyone want to "work" for a lying cheat who thinks women are to be bought and sold and that he can talk his wife around this on the grounds that he "didn't enjoy it"?

I've seen some apologist shite on MN in my time but that's a new low.

whereistherum · 21/08/2020 23:44

@thepeopleversuswork

I read it as the OP has said splitting would be complicated and what GisaFag means is its not complicated to split , if you put the work in e.g get finances in order, figure out the house

PyongyangKipperbang · 21/08/2020 23:45

[quote whereistherum]@thepeopleversuswork

I read it as the OP has said splitting would be complicated and what GisaFag means is its not complicated to split , if you put the work in e.g get finances in order, figure out the house[/quote]
Thats how I read it too.

Immigrantsong · 21/08/2020 23:46

OP how would he feel if you did the same???

LTB

Catmaiden · 21/08/2020 23:47

Deal breaker for me . Would divorce the shit.

Chaotica · 21/08/2020 23:49

I'd split and I'd tell the DC why in a matter of fact way, otherwise they may blame you. (Speaking from personal experience here.)

I'm so sorry it's happened to you OP. If you want to hang on to your self-esteem, I wouldn't advise that you stay and try to make it work - chances are your DH will do it again (just to see if it's really so bad) and then you'll have to replay all this all over again.

yolio · 21/08/2020 23:51

Why did he tell you?

I'd be out the gap as they in my country, no questions, no apologies, over,

Trust is gone, So sorry my love.

Let the lawyers sort it out. Sorry, but am still baffled that he told you.

KatherineJaneway · 21/08/2020 23:51

He thinks things will be OK as he has fessed up?

Shedpaint · 21/08/2020 23:51

Was this before he met you or during your marriage?
If the former why is he telling you now?

If the latter then I’d be leaving immediately and would tell the DC he had been faithful and any specifics they need to ask him about not you.

PegasusReturns · 21/08/2020 23:57

I’d leave without a doubt.

Far quicker than if he’d cheated with an non prostituted woman.

I’d insist he told the DC why but leave it up to him whether he left it as I’m a cheat or I’m a cheat who has sex women where the consent is dubious at best.

2pinkginsplease · 22/08/2020 00:00

He’d be leaving, he doesn’t get a choice in the matter, he’s slept with someone else and we would split and my teens would be told that it was because he was unfaithful!

I want my son to know that cheating is wrong and if you are in a relationship you don’t do it and I want my daughter to know that she doesn’t ever have to put up with a lying cheating shit of a partner!

ExclamationPerfume · 22/08/2020 00:07

His stuff would be in bin bags in the garden. It says everything about what he thinks of women. Disgusting creature.

peteneras · 22/08/2020 00:18

Would it be any less painful for you if she wasn't a prostitute (say) another unattached or even a married woman?

Happymum12345 · 22/08/2020 00:22

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. You will survive & be ok again. So will your dc. Flowers

Alphamayo · 22/08/2020 00:30

Why did he do that? There's always 2 sides to a story.

To put into perspective of what I mean, I'm good friends with a couple where it's a sexless relationship because his wife has 0 sex drive and basically is never even in the mood even when it happens once a year after 2 mins max she'd be complaining and asking is he done yet. She is reluctant to seeking treatment together claiming he is the one with a problem. He ended up thinking about (not sure if he actually went through with it) sleeping with a prostitute just to fulfill his need. He said he knows there will never be any strings attached with a prostitute and it's a need of a human being, that he loves his wife but a need is a need he can't be masturbating all his life.

I don't know whether he is right or wrong here since she was reluctant to be seeking medical help and was saying why don't he just go buy a doll. They can't separate for their own reasons but that's another story.

Otherwise if he did it for no good deep emotional reason and came back because it wasn't good, then LTB. There is no excuse to cheating on a good wife I wouldn't even bat an eyelid, have a second thought or look back. Teenagers are very understanding when what you want to say is worded right so just think about what you're going to say to them and just pour your heart out, they will be supportive.

chickenyhead · 22/08/2020 00:32

There is no deep emotional reason to pay to use a woman's body. Have a wank

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