Sorry I forgot to add examples.
A few years ago the violence was escalating. A neighbour got involved, confronted him, and told us they were calling the police. I was terrified. I walked into my local DV one stop shop. It took so much to do that. I'd tried a few weeks earlier but couldn't bring myself to go inside. The woman who saw me made it clear she didn't want to help. She told me she didn't know about the police and to just call them. I was asking for support in dealing with them. I didn't want the police. I was so scared. She didn't do a risk assessment or offer a support worker.
I was persuaded to go back there by a helpline. This time she asked why I'd come back as she'd already spoken to me. I asked for a support worker. She huffed and puffed then told me to call the office next week. Turns out she was the support worker. She offered no support. Told me they didn't help with housing (I'd been told support workers advocate for you). I spoke to the charity in total about 6 hours (over weeks and weeks). I was then told I'd taken hours of their time and they couldn't offer anything more. During the period we were in contact I'd begged for a refuge. Was told they couldn't give me somewhere just in case something happened. Something already had happened many times. They also told me other women managed to get there with terrible injuries when I explained I had no money at all to get there. They made me feel like a fraud but also very very trapped with a violent abusive man and very alone.
Recently tried to do it myself. Approached councils for help due to dv. The ones who are upfront about being unwilling to help are better really than the ones who trick you and waste your time. You only get so many opportunities to call or leave and can't waste time. The pretend nice ones initially make you think they'll help. Eventually you realise a couple of weeks after approaching them you've been passed from one person to the next and nothing actually hapoens. They put up barriers. The one last week refuses to do anything unless I consent to police being contacted. There's no police evidence because they never saw anything. No crime reference. He was released without charge and now the police think it was me being 'mental'.
So I risk police arresting him on a report by the council (they've said they can't promise not to report it if serious concerns) but nowhere safe to go. There's no evidence so he'd be arrested, furious, more dangerous, but the council would refuse to help me because the police have no evidence. He did a no comment interview last time.
Last week I also contacted adult social services. The local DV services had repeatedly advised me to do this. Apparent the dv service couldn't offer the help I needed but social services would. Social services not only told me it was a DV charity I needed but they were horrible too. It shook me. It was a man and he refused to let me speak to a woman instead. He them asked why I needed support. Told me if I was physically capable of calljnytgr police, why did I need support. No understanding at all of how dangerous it will be after he's released and also how much a traumatised person needs emotional and practical support especially with disabilities.
Tried to speak to GP. Lovely and kind but there's only so much she can do. Listen when it's an appointment but nothing more. She referred me to someone who is also very nice but only able to give me phone numbers to call. Places I've already tried.
I was so scared to tell my GP for so long. Always spoke anonymously to dv services. Finally ask properly for help and it's basically a case of if you live in an area with pour support, tough.
I've had several experiences like this. It wears you down. I feel defeated. I can't keep trying.