@Aerial2020
What another poster said about looking at yourself and your internalised misogyny is a valid point.
Choosing a man to have children with is so important . Not only are you are tied to them for the rest of your life but you would want them to be the best father they can be. You are actively seeking a man, as you call it ' old fashioned' or (outdated more like) to want the woman to do all the domestic chores, work and take care of the children. And you want to do it too!! How on earth is that attractive or appealing? Or being the best possible father? Most men, even when working full time, will do the best to share this. Because they want to and it's part of marriage. The ones that don't are the dickheads mumsnet is full of women complaining about.
And to walk into that life as something you want and choose rather than build as a team. Absolute bonkers.
Because Aerial, not everyone is like you and me, and that's fine.
Some women actually enjoy house chores. They find it deeply satisfying to keep a nice house and to be a husband pleaser - they really exist! However, the danger lies in idealising this kind of marriage when it so often comes with its own downsides. The op need to be prepared for that and needs to decide what price she is willing to pay to get it. It may be that she likes the idea of staying home a lot now, but after a while, it might soon fade. After all, if she's on a very high salary, my thinking is that she's a very competent, driven, ambitious, conscientious individual.
My concern is this (and I'll try to describe this as best as I can) - when women totally stay at home, that is then their job. It's a job that is 24hrs a day, but at least there's no extra responsibilities on top of that to stress them out when they're with the children or in the downtime when the children are sleeping.
When a woman works part time though, she is occupied in a normal job half the week, and is ALSO often expected to be the main manager of the kids as well. It often doesn't start out like that, but I think it often does.
In a fairer household, a man would think 'hmmmm'.....she works 3 days out of 5, so when I'm at home I still need to do xyz because she's occupied like me in a job the rest of the time'. Unfortunately, I don't think this is how it works most of the time.
I think for a lot of people, once someone shows that care of the children, they then are pretty much 100% in charge of them and take on all the mental load of looking after them, no matter if they're in a part time or not. I think this is why so many women are so stressed. Because they work part time, the children are still more their responsibility compared to the full time working father, and this on top of a demanding part time job must be really stressful. I think whether they plan for it or not, it's simply faster for that part time parent to do most of the mental childcare (like remember doctors appointments and such), but it doesn't mean it's fair or healthy.