I’d rather be dead.

[despairingandunhappy]

I hate DP.
I have never known a man so financially abusive in my life. He blames me for us having no money yet leaves me with £11 a month to live off after bills are paid. We’re 4 days before payday there is no food in my house and 10p in my bank. And all I have is him moaning about it, “he’d be better off in prison”
I’ve got fuck all. I’m glad we’re on lockdown cos it gives me an excuse to not go out. I don’t want my friends sending me pics of clothes they’re buying or holidays so I’ve come off social media. I need this off my chest because I’m about to explode.

I’d rather be fucking dead.

Yeah my friend has gone so weird with me because I spent £80 on a pair of trainers, she’s stingy as shit and doesn’t like hearing about anyone treating themselves so so odd

If you haven't been in touch with her for months then I'm sure it's nothing to do with the trainers, so I wouldn't worry. She's probably just getting used to you being in touch again.

No that’s the weird bit I speak to her every day haha

@gottastopeatingchocolate
Very good point

And good to highlight this so as you can think ahead about all the what ifs

My bastard abusive ex taking me to court now and it is pretty dreadful
Wishing you the best

Fingers crossed he stays well away
He may be too afraid to get court involved as you can say ok now time to tell all to the police?

But you never ever know xxxxxx

You deserve the runners, wear them with pride 😊. So good to hear you’re settling in and enjoying company of a positive nature

How are you doing OP?

I’m doing well, been out with my mum for a long time today and I’ve had a good day, I’ve bought a coat!

Any news from the ex or inlaws?

Well done OP. You sound so much more happy, positive and confident in your posts now. You have come a long way in a short time.

His mums still doing my head in, my blood just boils when I think of her so I’m gonna tell my IDVA id like some counselling

That sounds like a really good positive decision, which is exactly what you need to be focusing on now.

You’ve got away from him and all the negativity he brought into your life. It’s down to you now what path you follow and what you invite into your life. If you can exorcise all the bad shit, process it and leave it behind you then you’ll find yourself waking up every day feeling that bit happier.

I hope you can access all the resources you need. You’re being very proactive in looking after yourself. Hope life is being kinder to you and you’re feeling happier now.

My IDVA is going to sort out some counselling because over this past few days I have become so angry at him and his fucking family. I spent all night sat up with my mum on the phone last night just talking about what they’ve all allowed and how furious I am. I just wish they’d leave me alone. They’re like a fucking cult I swear to god

You are going to feel a lot of stuff. Counselling is a good idea - in fact it's a must.

Anger is good though. Stand up for yourself.

It’s all pouring out now which is good, and counselling will help you heal.

I was rehomed Friday. It’s a one bed ground floor flat round the corner from my mums and is just a temp but I could be here for a few months. I love it and it’s all mine. However I’ve gone fucking batty in B&M and my mum had to bring Me my tea tonight and some shopping as I’m skint until Tuesday 😂😂

That’s wonderful news @despairingandunhappy, you sound so happy.

Oh fantastic news op!
Not the bit about the food.
Enjoy your peace x

Leave him right now and make an application for universal credit. You'll be made a priority for housing if you don't have a joint mortgage or tenancy. You'll be in such a better place in a few months. He's draining you of all life.

Oh I just read your update... Soooooooo happy xx

That is great news. Enjoy your new home.

Wishing you lots of happiness in your new home xxxxx