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Original poster

Yet another date that went nowhere.

201 replies

UnaCorda · 03/08/2020 19:40

Aaargh. Had OLD #7,023 yesterday. I liked him. Of course he's not been in touch. He's not going to contact me, is he?

So fed up of this. I've been single forever. Why does it seem so easy for everyone else? Most people I know didn't even have to resort to OLD, and most of those who did seem to have got together with the first person they met.

I don't want to be alone forever. It sucks.

OP posts:
seensome · 04/08/2020 12:17

If you really want to see him again? Just message back, great, let me know when you're free.
Then leave it up to him to choose another date/time
Don't chase it and find other men to date, if he wants to put in the effort he will. Good luck

Original poster
UnaCorda · 04/08/2020 12:23

@seensome

If you really want to see him again? Just message back, great, let me know when you're free. Then leave it up to him to choose another date/time Don't chase it and find other men to date, if he wants to put in the effort he will. Good luck
I do, but I feel rather wary now after the long delay.

No, I won't chase it.

OP posts:
CausingChaos2 · 04/08/2020 12:30

Definitely join the dating thread on here. If you’d like to see him again then go for it - but I’d definitely recommend lining up other dates too so it isn’t so disappointing when one doesn’t work out.

PornStarOvaltini · 04/08/2020 12:53

If you like him, say when YOU are free (and would like to go out) and tell him to let you know if that works. It must be tiresome for guys to always have to plan the date. Take control, & if it doesn't work - no loss.

Also...People can be busy or not great at messaging. On the Daters Gonna Date thread a PP was annoyed by lack of messaging but realised it was just a trait and when they are together it's great.

Come on Una! Give it one more go.

simone1863 · 04/08/2020 13:00

He probably likes you and assumes if he's too quick he'll look needy and put you off x

Notcoolmum · 04/08/2020 13:17

@simone1863

He probably likes you and assumes if he's too quick he'll look needy and put you off x
This is the sort of bullshit we tell ourselves and our friends. It's not true. If someone likes you they will show you.
Bunnymumy · 04/08/2020 13:24

I think this is a situation where too much reading into things has gone on early on. Just try to relax into it and enjoy yourself.

If he starts dicking you about worth always taking ages to respond or something making you feel like you have to beg for scraps of his attention then drop him like hot coal. But one late response isnt a big deal.

Pay attention to your instincts...but not your anxieties.

MorningNinja · 04/08/2020 13:25

I think you're overthinking this. You can't call an overnight response of 12 hours delayed!

Just go with it and enjoy getting to know him.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 04/08/2020 13:28

OK so first you're concerned he hasn't responded and isn't interested.
So he's responded and said he is interested.
But because it took him overnight, and you sending a message, you are still concerned?!
Are you interested in him OP? If so then go for it!

But if you can't hack anyone behaving in a manner other than what you deem ideal, then yes, you may not be able to cope with dating at the moment.

BlokeHereInPeace · 04/08/2020 13:33

For fuck's sake, perhaps he had other stuff to do. Sort something out with him now. Go out to eat tonight, money off.

Justwalkyourfineassoutthedoor · 04/08/2020 13:40

You are massively overthinking this. If you liked him and enjoyed the last date arrange another one with him and see where it goes but stop over analysing every little thing.

littlebirdieblue · 04/08/2020 13:43

Oh Una, just chill a bit you've had 1 date, honestly I'd be more worried if he was bombarding you with messages than not replying straight away to 1 message you sent last night. Reply and arrange the next date. If you have to initiate the date after this next one, then I'd probably rethink, but for now just relax.

Brightyellow · 04/08/2020 13:49

I would reply and let him know that you’re up for another date but let him arrange it in case he was just being polite. It’s hard to tell from what you’ve said.

BlueRabbitWasNaughty · 04/08/2020 13:51

I wouldn't write him off just yet - he could have been out last night, glanced at the message but not had a chance to reply till today. If I'm out or have friends with me, I wouldn't reply to messages on my phone because it's rude!

amiascrazyastheysay · 04/08/2020 13:52

Can I just say I got totally antsy about meeting up with a guy after a first date, he totally wanted a second. I think he must have smelled my enthusiasm and it put
Him right off (😳) Anyways I just wanted to say I'm
Right here with you and it's hard going. Try and keep busy and plan as much things as you can this week so you're not constantly looking at the phone. Ps I really hope you meet someone nice

Original poster
UnaCorda · 04/08/2020 13:52

@littlebirdieblue

Oh Una, just chill a bit you've had 1 date, honestly I'd be more worried if he was bombarding you with messages than not replying straight away to 1 message you sent last night. Reply and arrange the next date. If you have to initiate the date after this next one, then I'd probably rethink, but for now just relax.
You're absolutely right, but I've had such a shit time with men and I'm sick of it. I'm too old for this crap.
OP posts:
Original poster
UnaCorda · 04/08/2020 13:57

Pay attention to your instincts...but not your anxieties.

There's a difference? Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
UnaCorda · 04/08/2020 14:11

@Brightyellow

I would reply and let him know that you’re up for another date but let him arrange it in case he was just being polite. It’s hard to tell from what you’ve said.
He said, "Hi, I had a great time and enjoyed the walk and conversation with you. Smile I'd like to meet up again."

So conflicting advice about whether or not to let him organise the next date!

OP posts:
forumdonkey · 04/08/2020 14:47

You're dating and it should be fun. Get on with your life and stop making these men/dates your focus. You've met him once, so he's virtually a stranger. Just enjoy your dates.

forumdonkey · 04/08/2020 14:50

What's your problem? You liked him and he wants a second date. Sorry OP you're creating your own misery.

Just reply, that'd be lovely, when were you thinking?

lilybetsy · 04/08/2020 15:01

honestly I would ping back a quick message saying ' Great, when suits you' or something equally relaxed and then get on with other things . ..

rookiemere · 04/08/2020 15:07

Agree with @lilybetsy nice breezy message agreeing you'd like to meet again.

I've been where you are online dating in the past , it's horrible and you do assign far too much significance to someone so early in the process.

I found that keep looking in the meantime, so that if one date doesn't work out you've got another to dread look forward to.

When I met now DH after a string of disastrous dates and non dates, the amazing thing to me was how easy it was. At the end of lunch he got his phone out so we could check when were both free next, so we had a follow up date arranged.

MargotMoon · 04/08/2020 18:26

@UnaCorda

Pay attention to your instincts...but not your anxieties.

There's a difference? Confused

Yes. You are completely overthinking this. Perhaps you aren't ready for dating if his replying that he'd like to see you again is causing anxiety.

I've found that the best OLD experiences are when I'm really busy and not glued to my phone all the time. Which is why I'm not dating atm, what with there being fuck all else going on in my life due to the pandemic. Turn off the last seen on your WhatsApp as well, it adds to anxiety.

Original poster
UnaCorda · 04/08/2020 18:27

Ok, have sent a suitably breezy message saying let's get together before you go away (mid August). Now just have to wait - and try to chill...

OP posts:
Original poster
UnaCorda · 04/08/2020 18:40

Gosh, he's already written back.

OP posts: