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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why was DM so weird about puberty, how do I move on?

201 replies

81Hannah81 · 26/07/2020 18:08

I started puberty relativley early I think, started developing about 9, face full of spots by 10, periods by 11. All in primary school basically.

DD1 is 8 now so getting to that age, and when I look back at my experience it seems like my mum just completely abandoned me and it's actually really affecting how I feel about her.

She never told me about puberty, periods or any of it; I was so freaked out and ashamed when I started my period I didn't know I was meant to tell anyone so I didn't have proper sanpro, just rolled up tissue in my knickers. She never mentioned me wearing a bra until she bought me a crop top when I was about 14 and was pretty much fully developed (sorry if tmi).

I was only allowed one bath and hair wash a week, no face wash, no deoderant, I felt so disgusting and was ostracised and humiliated at school because I didn't know how, or have the means to look after myself properly.

If I think of sending DD off to school so sad and confused, with a bunch of tissue in her knickers, I'm just heartbroken. The thought of it destroys me. How could my mum have done that to me?

I don't see me and DD skipping in to M&S for some first bra ceremony, but I want to guide her, say what do you need, what can i get you? I just don't understand why my mum left me to deal with it all alone. It feels like she wanted me to suffer!

I self harmed for most of my teens and ended up in hospital when I was 17 - that seemed to snap her out it somehow, she suddenly seemed to be my mum again.

I've become quite preoccupied with this but can't talk to anyone irl because I feel so ashamed. Did anyone else go through this, or know why it happened? How can i get over it?

OP posts:
MenstrualMatters · 01/08/2020 10:03

Hello everyone. A friend alerted me to this thread. I hope you don't mind me joining the conversation, I am not a Mum myself and I'm not clued in on all the Mumsnet abbreviations (?)- but I am a specialist researcher in menstrual health and rights (I am the founder of www.menstrual-matters.com - an evidence-based info hub, with the catchy strap-line 'No pain, no shame!')

First of all, I am so sorry that so many people have experienced traumatic first periods and other puberty-related changes. Unfortunately, this is still an all too common experience in the UK (and every other country) and has been so for thousands of years, thanks to ancient cultural myths and misconceptions about menstruation. In short, the taboo provides a means to create and maintain sex-based discrimination and gender inequalities. It does this through societal rules that hide menstruation from public spaces, and we (people who menstruate) internalise this as shame - we feel ashamed of our female bodies, our genitals, our menstrual fluid, and even the products with which we manage periods. Shame, shame, shame. [If you are keen to learn more here is a free textbook on this topic- link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-981-15-0614-7]

Period education is inadequate, although it is better than it once was. In many ways it is unfair to blame our mothers/ grandmothers for not preparing their daughters well- they were probably ignorant and ashamed of their own menstruating bodies (although even just a bit of love and understanding goes a long way). Menstrual shame is best described as 'inter-generational trauma', passed on through many generations of families. The good news is that change is happening, and simply learning more about what periods are (and are not), and speaking to others about your experiences, can make a significant positive impact on self-esteem - and will certainly help break the cycle of inherited embodied shame.

So, my top tips are really this- if you do feel traumatised by your first period experience, or subsequent life as a menstruating human being, please do seek professional counselling. This trauma likely has an impact on your self-esteem, relationships with others, and quality of life. You may never receive recognition of your trauma from family members, but a good counsellor should help you feel better anyway.

I also encourage absolutely everyone- including men and boys- to learn more about menstrual myths and how not to (unintentionally) reinforce them- especially this terrible concept of the first period as a sign of 'womanhood'- it is not- it is simply a sign of the beginning of puberty- female bodies are not well suited to giving birth until at least age 15/ 16. Implying adulthood in children as young as 8 years old is gross- it simply encourages the sexualisation of the female body (including little girls). Here is a handy list of the top 10 myths to help you get started- www.menstrual-matters.com/blog/top-10-period-myths/

Finally, I really encourage people to seek evidence-based information on this topic, rather than well-meaning but ultimately problematic sources of 'period education' which unintentionally reinforce beliefs about 'all women' as being somehow more mysterious, connected to nature, in sync with the moon/ each other, or in need of time out of work/ education, due to our normal and healthy menstrual cycles. We are not typically debilitated by our bodies, and they are just as scientifically knowable as male bodies. Similarly, if you do experience very painful periods, or severe mood changes, then you most likely have an underlying health condition (fibroids, endometriosis, cysts, or the exacerbation of a mental health issue, or PMDD- premenstrual dysphoric disorder)- this is not a 'normal' menstrual experience- do not let your family, friends or even doctors tell you it's just 'women's issues' and effectively fail to take you seriously.

I can also recommend a great period book for children - it contains actual images of what a period looks like etc. Written by Robyn Steward for Autistic children, but in my opinion, the best option for all kids- www.amazon.co.uk/Autism-Friendly-Guide-Periods-Robyn-Steward/dp/1785923242/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&s=books&text=Robyn+Steward&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1587561817&refinements=p_27%3ARobyn+Steward&sr=1-1

Please feel free to get in touch if you have any queries regarding menstrual health/ rights that are not covered on the website: [email protected]

Thanks and I hope we are perhaps the last generation to experience this stuff- at least we can help make it happen!

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