Is it ever right to hit a woman

[Meadow1203]

Just this really. My ex partner is adamant that if a woman hits or slaps a man then it is ok for him to retaliate. He is 6 4 and a very strong man, just a slap would be potentially dangerous. He said he has always advised his daughters never to hit a man as they should expect to be hit back. I am not condoning violence btw, just interested in views on this.

Hitting anyone in retaliation is not good. However, the people doing the original hitting tend to get away with it.

I'm not someone that retaliates to anyone, unless there's a real threat. But I'll admit, I secretly cheer when someone gets a lesson (gets hit back) for being a twat, and hope the lesson sticks, man or woman.

@LexMitior

The reason that it is an unsavoury question and indicative of character is that a man knows his power. Or he should.

You might get similarly concerned if your ex told his daughters that men may feel it acceptable to keep having sex with them if they say no during sex.

These kind of remarks are indicative of someone who is looking to justify their own power over someone else. Or is it fair warning about men? Either is damning, isn’t it?

Why is the finger pointed at an imaginary "everyman" character here, responding to a question?

Why is it even a question? Why aren't we saying in response "why did the woman think it was ok to hit someone in the first place"?

Somehow, you're managing to justify women assaulting men by criticising responses to hypothetical questions.

Why are we, as a society, so accepting of women hitting men? I know my son would never hit a woman but if I ever found out he'd been hit I'd certainly go and repay the favour.

In a perfect world, there would be no violence, and nobody should ever hit anybody else. We do not live in a perfect world. DH and his sisters trained in martial arts from a very young age. Although she doesn't look it, SIL could do serious damage to most men if she was of a mind to. There are many women out there who are strong enough or skilled enough to hurt your average man. I was raised to never, ever raise my hand to anybody. The only situation where I could imagine myself hitting somebody would be to protect my daughter. DH and his family were raised differently. If DH ever initiated violence against a women I would LTB, but if it were in protecting me or our dd, I would deem it acceptable. There is a video being circulated of a group of feral women at an airport in the US beating a women and her bf whilst he (perfect gentleman) uses his body to protect her. Not once did he strike out at the women attacking him and her, even though at least one of them was huge. DH would not have shown such restraint and I would be glad of that. I abhor violence, but I can see some situations where it may be the least bad option.

I haven’t justified anything. As I pointed out earlier, the woman who slaps a man has assaulted him.

However, the power differential between men and women which is a matter of biological reality which may result it a very different level of harm being done.

The law doesn’t regard your son and a woman who is 50 per cent weaker as the same. That is because it considers the crime and the offender. If the offender is much much stronger then there will be questions as to whether there really was any justification for responding.

You sound somewhat hot tempered. Would you really go and hit a woman who had hit your son?

To those deluded posters saying that ALL men are stronger than women and that women cannot do any real damage to men, what kind of a misogynistic outlook do you have on life? Go out in Doncaster or Manchester or Glasgow on a Friday night and see how much damage a women can do! We are not alll delicate little flowers. I am woman, hear me roar

Of course it’s not right, but it’s not right for women to hit and slap men either, so in that case, while I wouldn’t condone him for hitting her back, she’s an idiot for hitting him first and shouldn’t be surprised if someone’s instinct is to fight back.

I don’t subscribe to the idea that women are delicate flowers. This isn’t anything to do with that. If you are telling me there are women beating and hurting men then they need the law like anyone else.

But if a woman slapped me, I would not regard that as a threat sufficient to punch her or strike her back. If I thought she was about to threaten me to the point my life was impaired, then I could strike back and the law would accept my defence.

It's not a good look that your partner is looking for ways and situations where it would be justifiable for a man to hit a woman. Agree with @DishRanAwayWithTheSpoon on this.

And when you get women who are “one punch killers”then I will accept that there’s a parity of risk. I’ve been hit by men and women. The man was far stronger and more dangerous.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-12335201

abcnews.go.com/US/woman-trial-killing-rapper-punch/story?id=13724992

An awful lot of people on here focusing on the strength and size difference between men and women. Very little talk of the psychological damage of being hit by your partner. For the record I am a bloke who was in a physically abusive relationship for about 18 months before I got out. She had a fearsome temper, was insecure and very jealous which sadly manifested itself in physical attacks on me. Most of the time I could restrain her, or I just stood there like a lemon while slapped or punched me until she had calmed down. Occasionally she caught me with a real stinger, most of the time however, it did not hurt and what bruises there were I could pass off as something I picked up off the rugby field. I used to play semi pro rugby, was a big in shape bloke and she was a 5ft 4 women almost half my weight. Mentally I was broken, my self esteem shot to pieces and my confidence gone despite outwardly seeming to have a good life. It took me another couple of years before I even considered dating again. Very few people believed me when I finally started to speak about the physical abuse and again the conversation would be around how a big bloke could be a victim to a little woman. Size means nothing if even the softest of blows wrecks your mental health.

@dadshere - I think there are quite a few facts in those stories which don’t quite make the woman involved a one punch killer on either account. Though that looks like the headline...

@DillonPanthersTexas- totally agree. The effect of being hit can in the course of a relationship, mentally destroy someone. It is very hard to talk about, particularly where there is an obvious power disparity. The truth is that you don’t need to be physically strong to abuse; you need to feel entitled to hit.

People who argue they are entitled to hit are problematic. Frankly, to stay within the law you have to get smarter than that.

It's a bit weird that this is on his mind and being said to the women in his life

In what context has it come up?

Why isn't he teaching his kids that violence no matter who it's from is not the answer?

Would you really go and hit a woman who had hit your son?

If I witnessed, yes I would.

If I knew who had done it eg a girlfriend then I would go and have it out with her. If that escalated then yes, I think I would. Basically, don't dish it out if you aren't prepared to take it.

I've seen so many young women hit men. It's seen as acceptable and it just really shouldn't be.

Just because biologically men and women are different it shouldn't mean that men should just have to tolerate violence against them, just as women shouldn't have to tolerate it. It should not be seen as almost acceptable, certainly tolerable, when a woman hits out just because she's a woman.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras

What? You are the justice league and beat people up on behalf of your son?

Have you ever actually done something like this? You are exactly the kind of person people should worry about. You prescribe yourself your own laws for yourself.

You have said something very silly. I doubt this is more than bravado.

[quote LexMitior]@Hearhoovesthinkzebras

What? You are the justice league and beat people up on behalf of your son?

Have you ever actually done something like this? You are exactly the kind of person people should worry about. You prescribe yourself your own laws for yourself.

You have said something very silly. I doubt this is more than bravado.[/quote]
Why am I the justice League? And no, I wouldn't beat someone up. If I witnessed a woman hit my son then yes, I would slap her on his behalf because I know he wouldn't retaliate.

Again, don't hit someone unless you are prepared to be hit back.

Okay. What you have said is, I’m happy to commit a crime of assault on someone who has not touched me.

No provocation, no self defence, nothing.

Just get in there and give a slap. You are of course the person who looks to find reasons to hit!

@DillonPanthersTexas

I'm really sorry that happened to you. That disgusts me to here about what she did.

Men who are being abused by women face the stigma and disbelief from society and that has to change.

In self defence, yes 100%

@LexMitior

Okay. What you have said is, I’m happy to commit a crime of assault on someone who has not touched me.

No provocation, no self defence, nothing.

Just get in there and give a slap. You are of course the person who looks to find reasons to hit!

Yes, I know it's a crime. The person who hit first also committed a crime - do you think the police would be interested in doing anything about it?

Well why isn’t your instinct to actually report a crime rather than commit one yourself?

Does your slap have to be in the heat of the moment to be okay? Or can you wait and then give her a slap later?

Honestly, I’m assuming this is just bollocks.

Under no circumstances whatsoever should a man strike a woman.