Is it ever right to hit a woman

[Meadow1203]

Just this really. My ex partner is adamant that if a woman hits or slaps a man then it is ok for him to retaliate. He is 6 4 and a very strong man, just a slap would be potentially dangerous. He said he has always advised his daughters never to hit a man as they should expect to be hit back. I am not condoning violence btw, just interested in views on this.

It's absolutely right to defend yourself with reasonable force.
If a woman is hitting a man and he hits her away from him, he's done nothing wrong.

Reasonable force is important though, it has to be measured and proportionate to the danger faced by the man.

If a woman ever attacked my son, I would hate for him to not retaliate and take a beating purely because society has conditioned him to believe he's less entitled to self defence than a woman is.

@PumpkinP

If a woman posts on here saying she’s hit her partner people fall over themselves to justify it. I think it’s ok if a man hits a woman in self defence yes.

Not at all.

I've read a few posts by women who have hit their partners or thrown something at them.

The posters all without exception completely tear her to pieces, she's usually told to hand herself in to the police, to leave the relationship, that shes despicable etc etc.

I've never read a response, going oh well never mind, wasn't your fault.

And usually the posts are about what a woman has done in response to her abusive partner.

So no you're wrong, or link to a single thread where a woman has hit her partner and and everyone has 'fallen over themselves to justify it'.

Well we obviously haven’t read the same posts but yes I have seen it a lot on this board, it’s always the man must have pushed her to it, or it is that the man is abusive in other ways so the woman must have just snapped, I’m not going to link any threads, I don’t comment on them as I find it annoying seeing how much people will defend it if it’s a woman and I haven’t got the time to scroll through old posts. But it comes up frequently on here so check yourself.

There was one a couple of weeks ago where a woman threw a remote control at her boyfriend because he was annoying her and loads of people told her she’d done nothing wrong, her uncontrollable rage was totally justified and he was at fault. @PumpkinP is absolutely right. When a woman physically lashes out, or has an affair for that matter, a shocking number of people on here will always say it’s the man’s fault. Don’t be disingenuous @frazzledasarock

I’m swear people on here see women as these delicate little flowers who would snap in a breeze while at the same time bigging up feminism and equality.

I’m from a rough area and I’ve seen a lot of fights. Women can do A LOT of damage in a fight and yes men are just as justified to knock them back. Plus women are most likely to scratch and bite in a fight which can cause all sorts of problems.

I think a better life lesson would be that no one should be hitting anyone, surely.

He is an ex, why do you care what he thinks about this?

Thanks AnneLovesGilbert I’ve seen it enough on here over the years. I’m glad it’s not just me who has seen it, as it comes up a lot. I’m not lying or making it up. Why would I? It’s always “well he must have pushed you to hit him”

No.

It's never right to hit anyone except in self defense and then gender is not relevant. What matters is that any use of any force is justifiable, appropriate and reasonable.

I've seen this debate a few times on predominantly male forums and it's not long before a few men start pitching in to express their opinion similar to your husband's. I see this as indicative of misogynistic views that they feel so strongly about the old "a man shouldn't hit a woman" line that they need to debate it or challenge it.

Personally, I'll hit someone if they are posing an imminent physical threat to me or someone else and the use of force is the only viable option left to me. If that's the case it matters not whether they are a man, a woman or a pantomime horse - it will always be the last resort and no more than is absolutely necessary.

One other point specific to the OP. Retaliation is not self defense.

Let’s get real about people hitting each other. It really is about strength.

A teenage boy is probably 50 per cent stronger than a girl the same age, assuming he’s most of the way through puberty.

As a woman, you will be well advised not to hit a man because you are the weaker party. And if you do get hit as a woman, by a man, that blow is more likely to be a fatal one that will kill her. That is all on physical strength.

It is not the same if a woman hits a man. The chance of damage, particularly fatal damage is far lower. Women who strike their partners in the context of domestic abuse are desperate mostly. The courts recognise this. They understand it, and that power disparity in terms of harm that can be inflicted by hands alone favours a man.

That is biological reality. There are some people who seem to think that equality means smearing over this clear difference where a man can kill a woman far more easily than she could kill him. Thankfully they do not run the justice system.

In my experience, men who give warnings to women not to hit are ready themselves to use their fists.

No.

Two wrongs don't make a right. And it's not self-defence.

NO! Never! Regardless of the situation

Two wrongs do not make a right.

Snap @Interestedwoman!

If women use violence in a relationship, it's usually in response to abuse.

Men who hit women back tend to also be the same men who would hit a woman unprovoked if they were angry enough.

I think the message of "don't hit your partner" that your ex is teaching ia a good message. I wonder about the next part of the lesson - "if you hit them, they can hit you back." It's not helpful and it may lead to her believing that violence is the normal part of give and take in a relationship.

The best message (imo) is: if there is a hint of violence - get tf out of there immediately. It's what I'll be teaching my ds.

Never. Not even in self-defence, because restraining the woman would surely be sufficient?

I dont see how you can hit in self defense really, restrain maybe. Grab their arm, push them but hit?

Its never okay to hit anyone. But as someone who deals with post fight injuries Ive never seen someone come in with a broken jaw after a punch from a woman, Im not sure Ive ever dealt with injuries dealt by a woman. Women cannot deal anywhere near the same level of force as a man

It's not right for anyone to hit anyone. People need to keep their hands to themselves.

The only time it is ok is if you are in danger and you have to escape. In that situation you do whatever you have to do to escape and no more

Ive always found anyone who wishes to have this discussion is basically just trying to justify their desire to hit a woman.

Theres no real need to disciss this hypothetical scenario, unless you want to find a situation where you can hit a woman

The other day, there was a thread where the OP's husband slapped her hard on the leg after she batted his hand away from his nose as he kept picking it.

The general consensus on that thread was that he was well within his rights to slap her for doing that.

However, I don't see what he did as being self defence. And if everything else that OP said was true, she doesn't have a history of being physical towards him. There was no reason for him to hit her. He should have pulled her up on her act verbally, or walked away. He slapped her so hard, she ran upstairs crying.

I personally think what he did was abhorrent. It also raises a lot of questions for me, as then you could argue she was entitled to kick him in the nuts after he slapped her, then he could tackle her to the ground, etc. etc.

So I'm very intrigued and also reassured that this thread seems to have the opposite opinion to that, so far.

I dont see how you can hit in self defense really

Most taught self defence techniques are some variation on block-strike-escape or block-takedown-escape. 'Hitting' is absolutely a valid part of self defence.

"I dont see how you can hit in self defense really"

I would say that the first thing you do is just shield yourself and if you're much stronger than someone you should try to restrain them, but if that's not possible then hitting would be justified. If a woman is running to fetch a knife to stab a man, then I wouldn't blame him for hitting her to stop her. It would need to be quite an extreme situation though.