Is it ever right to hit a woman

[Meadow1203]

Just this really. My ex partner is adamant that if a woman hits or slaps a man then it is ok for him to retaliate. He is 6 4 and a very strong man, just a slap would be potentially dangerous. He said he has always advised his daughters never to hit a man as they should expect to be hit back. I am not condoning violence btw, just interested in views on this.

Revenge isn't a good look, is it?

If someone hits you, the response should be to get out of the situation, not hang around to exchange blows. And if this is in the situation of a relationship, once there's violence it's FUBAR and time to quit.

It's never ok to hit anyone, except in self defence so women shouldn't be hitting men either.

In self defence, it's different.

@PumpkinP

Thanks AnneLovesGilbert I’ve seen it enough on here over the years. I’m glad it’s not just me who has seen it, as it comes up a lot. I’m not lying or making it up. Why would I? It’s always “well he must have pushed you to hit him”

It's not just you and you aren't lying. Situations are always twisted around to.somehow blame the man, even when he's utterly blameless.

@JuanNil

How many people have seen this before?

This video went viral years ago. Obviously it's funny. But it's also very interesting! The man got completely piled on for hitting a woman back after she slapped him. He was so distressed that she should be allowed to hit him and yet he can't hit her back. I could understand his frustration, to be honest. But I can also understand the deeper implications of why you should never encourage men to hit women.

Why's that funny? She was completely and utterly wrong for hitting him and the other men were wrong for piling on too.

She was a vile piece of work

I agree, however the law doesn't forbid hitting someone if the force is justified and proportionate to protect life and in self defence. My point still stands tho.

@DeltaAlphaDelta

I agree, however the law doesn't forbid hitting someone if the force is justified and proportionate to protect life and in self defence. My point still stands tho.

Sorry, quoting my reply didnt work.

We're not really talking about self-defence tho here, are we?

The premise is - if a woman hits or slaps a guy, it's ok for him to retaliate. Which is just revenge, not self-defence.

@category12

We're not really talking about self-defence tho here, are we?

The premise is - if a woman hits or slaps a guy, it's ok for him to retaliate. Which is just revenge, not self-defence.

Agreed!

Never ok to hot anyone, always better to use flight than fight in a situation where you are under threat. And, if being hit by someone smaller than yourself, there is always the option of restraint until they have calmed down.

@category12

We're not really talking about self-defence tho here, are we?

The premise is - if a woman hits or slaps a guy, it's ok for him to retaliate. Which is just revenge, not self-defence.

But why is a girl or woman hitting anyone?

Why as a society do we basically think it's ok, comical even?

Looking at that YouTube clip that's linked - that woman is vile. Should he have hit her back - no. But who thinks it's fine to just lash out at someone like that? Does she do it to anyone that she takes a dislike to? Funny how no one had a go at her for doing first with no provocation.

He said he has always advised his daughters never to hit a man as they should expect to be hit back.

This is his advice for his daughters? This.

If his daughters are your daughters too (or maybe even if they are not) you should have a word with them, advising them that they should avoid men who they may feel the need to hit. That if hitting a man will save them from harm, then it may be the right thing to do. that a man who hits them back in retaliation (rather than self-defence) is a man to avoid - and has probably been waiting for an excuse. That their dad might be setting them up for some very bad views on male/female relationships.

I don't agree with anyone hitting anyone.

Some people on the thread seem to think retaliation is the same as self defense. It's not. Hitting is never ok.

The reason that a man is in more trouble if he hits a woman is the strength difference and the capacity to kill.

If a woman picks up a weapon to even the perceived difference, then this argument disappears.

The strength disparity between men and women is huge. Men who are mature handle their power with responsibility. The idiots who talk of the right of retaliation are just seeking excuses to prey on someone weaker.

It's never ok to hit anybody. The ones who make a big fuss of 'not hitting a woman' are the ones most likely to hit anybody and everybody in my experience.

Well he's a twat isn't he!! It is NEVER right to hit a women in any circumstances

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras the premise of that show is based on sub/Dom dynamics. The woman is an actress. The men applied to the show to be 'dominated' for some kind of competition. All very weird and I'm very glad we don't have those kinds of shows in the UK (or at least I hope not ) But why would you apply to be a sub on a show like that and then get upset at the actress doing her job. Given the context of the show and the clip, that is why it went viral for being funny. I didn't make the final decision there.

@Divebar

My personal experience is women in DV relationships tend to lash out in self defence in the end, and the big huge men go running to the police claiming DV against themselves

This is absolutely the case. A woman could have been subjected to violence a hundred times without reporting and the one time she injures him he will report it. It’s a power play and exceptionally frustrating to deal with from a professional point of view.

Then why do all the statistics say that male victims are LESS likely to report DV than female victims??

www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/181867.pdf
www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-45490173
www.mankind.org.uk/statistics/statistics-on-male-victims-of-domestic-abuse/
www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/domestic-violence-as-a-man-its-very-difficult-to-say-ive-been-beaten-up-8572143.html

It is acceptable to hit a woman in self defence. Every human has the right to self defence, even a man.

Well you had better be sure that it’s a realistic assessment of self defence. You can’t claim as a man that you are allowed to hit a woman generally because she hit you. She would have to be a threat to you for you to hit back. And whatever force you used would have to be proportionate.

Nearly all of the cases I see on this page aren’t anywhere near that. They are all stuff like I slapped my partner etc. That is not pleasant and it is assault, but that is not a threat to your life and any man who decides he would like to retaliate in these circumstances is too breaking the law.

Judges are not stupid. The dude who claims he was seriously abused and then punched his partner in self defence when she is 50 percent weaker than he is has some explaining to do.

@PlanDeRaccordement

It is acceptable to hit a woman in self defence. Every human has the right to self defence, even a man.

That's true but these discussions don't generally start with "is it OK to hit someone in self defense?" which might lead to a valid discussion around the laws on self defense, the difference between self defense and retaliation, the legal definition of "reasonable", under what circumstances a court might accept an argument of self defense etc.

When the question is "can/should a man hit a woman if........" they are invariably started/supported by men who feel aggrieved by the traditional view that they shouldn't hit women and they are desperately looking for contrived scenarios where it might be acceptable for them to do so. What sort of man spends time trying to think up legitimate reasons why they might be OK to hit a woman?

@TooTrueToBeGood
I was just answering the OP question “Is it ever right to hit a woman?”
That’s all. My answer to that question is “It is acceptable to hit a woman in self defence”

When the question is "can/should a man hit a woman if........" they are invariably started/supported by men who feel aggrieved by the traditional view that they shouldn't hit women and they are desperately looking for contrived scenarios where it might be acceptable for them to do so. What sort of man spends time trying to think up legitimate reasons why they might be OK to hit a woman?

Disagree this is “invariably” as in “always” the case. All your talk about what kind of man would even ask the question is rampant speculation with the objective of character defamation to make a thought provoking question into something sinister.

The reason that it is an unsavoury question and indicative of character is that a man knows his power. Or he should.

You might get similarly concerned if your ex told his daughters that men may feel it acceptable to keep having sex with them if they say no during sex.

These kind of remarks are indicative of someone who is looking to justify their own power over someone else. Or is it fair warning about men? Either is damning, isn’t it?

@PlanDeRaccordement. I wasn't arguing with you, if that is how you interpreted it. I was simply contributing to the discussion.

I stand by my views but thanks for the challenge. I have seen various discussions on this specific topic over the years and have formed my opinions based on those. I believe it very much is indicative of something sinister and that reasonable men do not feel the need to debate when they might be OK to thump a female.

[quote JuanNil]@Hearhoovesthinkzebras the premise of that show is based on sub/Dom dynamics. The woman is an actress. The men applied to the show to be 'dominated' for some kind of competition. All very weird and I'm very glad we don't have those kinds of shows in the UK (or at least I hope not ) But why would you apply to be a sub on a show like that and then get upset at the actress doing her job. Given the context of the show and the clip, that is why it went viral for being funny. I didn't make the final decision there. [/quote]
Aah, I didn't know the context of the show, but even so, it was interesting to see the reaction that occurred - she was the aggressor but when he hit back he was piled on by a huge group. I really get the argument about men being stronger but in that instance she slapped him, he slapped her back. He didn't punch her so she wasn't likely to suffer a broken bone or serious injury. I think a good rule of thumb is don't hit someone if you aren't prepared to be hit back - regardless of whether you're male or female.