Couples who got together from uni

[SwahiliSongs]

If you know of a couple (or perhaps you) who have met their other halves at uni, are they still together? Happily?

I got together with my DH at 18. I'm now in 30s and I sometimes wonder how things might have turned out otherwise.

My sister met her DH at uni and they seem very happy, they are in their 40s now.

By the way, they don't have to have gone to uni i just mean it as a shorthand for 18 to 21-22, because i think younger than 18 is too young and older than 22 is still sort of ok in my view to start a serious relationship

Met dh on the second day of university aged 19. Still together 18 years later.

Met at first yr of uni & started going out. Still together after graduation. Did think it was unusual though & aware that people grow & change a lot in their 20s so didn't get married until 28. In our 30s now with dc & very happy.

Oh, and I know an older couple who met through mutual friends while at different universities (he was at uni with her sister).
They got married right after his graduation because it was the only way for her to live with him in doctors accommodation in the 60s.

Quick registry office ceremony, pub after, handful of guests.
Only two photos from the day and they are after they’d been drinking for a while, she’d already taken her hair down and discarded her shoes.

After a couple of years she got bored (new doctors work long hours) so she left him for a European lover.

4 years later he travelled to Germany to talk to her, told her he loved her and asked her to reconsider. They’ve been together ever since.

Now in their late 70s/early 80s, they are the most solid couple I have ever met, their marriage has survived more than one trauma that would drive many apart. They bicker a lot, but they never tire of each other’s company. 60 years of marriage (if you don’t count her 4 years abroad).

So meeting someone young definitely doesn’t mean they aren’t the right person to settle down with, just that you might not realise how right they are without someone wrong to compare them to!

I met my DH at uni in the second term, on a field trip. I was 19 and he was 18. We got together within a few weeks and apart from a brief “break” of a month or so when we were in third year after a difficult summer apart we’ve been together very happily ever since, which is 11 years. We got married 2 years ago. We’re still head over heels in love.

I love how we’ve kind of grown up together a bit, have so many shared references and friends, know each other’s families super well from staying in the holidays etc. My only slight concern is if we were ever to break up, we’ve never been single as adults and have so many friends in common - I’d have to learn how to be alone again. But hopefully that will never happen, and we are quite independent.

I think it helped our relationship that we didn’t rush into being too “grown up” - we didn’t live together for a year after university even though we’d already been together 3-4 years, we then lived in house shares so still had a fun young lifestyle; we travelled separately some summer holidays at uni, he was happy for me to work in the USA for a few months, I had a few months off work and went travelling without him a few years ago. It meant we could grow up as independent people and luckily that meant we grew together, not apart.

I’d say maybe a third of our friends met at uni, and almost all are very happy and stable in their relationships. We’re at the age of babies arriving. So far no divorces or major breakups - I think most of our friends are very committed.

older than 22 is still sort of ok in my view to start a serious relationship

Can you explain what you meant by that OP?

I know couples who got together at uni and then split, and others who remain together. I didn't really meet anyone suitable for me until my mid 40s. He was early 50s and had had a couple of serious relationships in his 30s/ 40s. We're very happy together and I can see us growing old together. I don't know if we would have got on quite so well had we met when younger. We've both learned from previous relationships that haven't worked out. We've both realised what our priorities are.

Ultimately there are billions of us on the planet and many different combinations of possible relationships. If you've met someone right for you for whatever length of time, just be glad of that.

My BFF was with her ex husband from 14 at school
Unfortunately by 30 they both had affairs and split up mid 30s. Neither of them had had a relationship before eachother and I think that they would have broken up before if she hadn’t got pg by accident at 18.

Most of my friends and family met at university, or before, when they were at school.

Nearly all are still married and in the next few years will be celebrating golden wedding anniversaries.

I did. We’ve got young adult/adult children now and are still married and happy 85-90% of the time. That’s not to say I think we could/should be happier. We are individuals and I don’t think we can expect sunshine and roses 100% of the time in very long term relationships of any kind (marriages, friendships, families). They all need compromise & respect to oil the wheels. Obviously both sides have to be equally prepared to put the work in but there will always be tensions in life, it’s how you work through them that really counts. It very much depends on the individuals too, not all young people are desperate to sleep around. There’s no way of knowing whether they’ll resent sacrificing their youth for marriage once they’re older but that’s life isn’t it? We make decisions based on the now, sometimes we regret them, sometimes we don’t. We live and learn.

As for marrying young and feeling trapped/7 yr itch thing. Maybe, it certainly seems to happen for some people. I had a bit of that but fortunately managed to work through it and come out the other side.

Having said all that, I wouldn’t want my children to marry or settle down in a LTR at a young age. It worked out ok for me but the odds aren’t stacked in the favour of early marriage and I’d rather they focused on what they want out of life, having some fun and getting a career set up (which is what they are doing).

this is my experience of 40 year olds in the City. All gagging for affairs, it's gross.

My experience of this is more that the men come into money, get arrogant & feel entitled to a "hot" bit on the side. Where they met their partner seems irrelevant.

I met DH at 19. I think we moved way too fast and there are so many things I wish we had done before kids. The reality is though, DS was a miracle baby (told we couldn't conceive at age 21) and without him I'm not sure we would have stayed together and been as happy as we are now.

I met DH when I was at uni, I was 18 he was 24. 10 years on we are happily married with a 7 month old.

Not at uni but I met my husband when I was 12 and we have been together since we were 14. Split up when we were 18 for a little bit ( being in a relationship from being so young for 4 years is unusual therefore he freaked out a little) we got back together and we've been together another 13 years.
I don't feel as though I've missed out, I feel very lucky that we've been able to grow up together and know from a young age that this was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
My parents have been married 40 years from the age of 20. My in laws have been married 35 years. There are a few members of my family who have been together since 15-16 and are very happy.

Are you unhappy in your relationship OP? Or do you feel as though you have missed out? Xx

OP, I don't think getting a succession of posts from people who got together at university and either stayed together happily or didn't is going to be of any use to you. If you are unhappy in your relationship, that's what you should focus on.

On the other hand, it's perfectly natural to have the occasional moment of wondering how things might have worked out otherwise. I have similar thoughts about other significant decisions, like turning down a scholarship to study at an Ivy League college, or leaving a country I'd lived in for over 20 years.

The sort of ok comment is weird. Do you think that 18-22 is the perfect window for a relationship? That narrow 4yrs?

Do you think that’s just to quiet your worries about your relationship? If you tell yourself that you met your DH within this optimal window then you’re ok and this sense of ‘what if’ isn’t anything to worry about?

not me but 2 sets of friends. First were friends at uni, got together after it finished around 23, married with 2 kids, been together 12 years. Second got together in first year, still togther married with one child, been together about 16 years.

Oh my goodness, thank you so much for your posts, I didn't think this many posters would answer. I have read them all.

Baddoc, I am so sorry for your loss

What I meant about "22 is sort of ok to start a serious relationship" is what I imagine about my own self being perhaps more ready at 22 having graduated, worked, experienced the world a bit. I didn't mean it in an offensive way, sorry.

Thank you for the stats link, I will have a look.

Thank you everyone

Met my now DH at uni at 19, married at 24, now been happily married with two DCs for 10 years.

Got together at 15, went threw a hell of a lot for our ages and naturally grew apart. Split up 10 years and one month later so I know what you mean.

I met my ex husband at 18. I went to uni and he didn't so we had a couple of break ups over those years but then went on to have a baby and get married but split up not long after when i was pregnant with second.
However 2 of my friends at uni got together in freshers week and seem to still be happily married now with 3 kids so totally depends on the people.

Oh you mean ‘sort of ok’ like ‘more socially acceptable’

My in laws. Met at university, still happily married and in their 70s.

Met DH at Uni, still together. We did have some bumpy patches in or late twenties though - I know what you mean about it being young to start a serious relationship, you do change as you get older, so I guess it depends if you both change in a way that means you still suit each other! Our bumpy patch was because we had a time when we had different priorities, but we found they came back into alignment. Now we’re happily married with 1 DD and twin boys on the way.

We have quite a few friends that met at Uni, but I’d say those that are still together mostly got together towards the end of Uni or actually after Uni finished.

We are 30 years in. Years 3-7 were long distance and we saw each other maybe once a month.

Met at uni 14yrs ago and now happily married with two kids about to celebrate 4th wedding anniversary.