Gone off men permanently

[Wynterbaby]

I just am sick of them. Coming on here makes it worse to be fair. Society is ridden with shitty men who treat females like their servants and abuse them mentally/verbally/financially. Make their other half pick up most of their slack including parenting duties. Feel they can judge the female body and critique it when the most judgemental ones usually have a chode or additional flab themselves but we just accept them as they are.
I realise there are some good ones but I am being absolutely serious when I say I’ve met a handful of men in my entire lifetime who haven’t made me feel disgusted or uncomfortable in one way or another.
I just am at a point where I’m so aware of how superior they really do think they are and without reason.
I don’t think I can get over it and I really do feel like I’d rather be alone forever with my DD then ever deal with a mans shit ever again. I’ve been single for 2 years and it’s been absolute heaven. And coming on here reading how so many women are abused in so many ways at the hands of men makes me so angry and realise what I’m choosing is the right thing.
Does anyone feel the same or do I need therapy and a bucket of wine?

I feel similar. You do read about the worst of them on here, though. I'm married, we have our own issues which we're working on but if I do end up single again I'm never ever going to live with a man again. Lies, porn, judging women, moodiness, dependency, wife work, lack of good sex, eating all the food, laziness, sometimes I can't bear it.

I do think we tend to see mostly bad examples here, since it's a place to vent and look for support. Also most of us are women here, so we'll see moans about men. In reality there are quite a lot of horrid women out there I suppose.
If anything, I think I am starting to feel more endeared towards DH since joining MN, despite having our own issues here and there.

Same here, I'm sure there are decent men but it's not worth the numbers game trying to find them as men often only show themselves when you're invested or after a long period of time. Plus I've said before on here I don't want to put up with their bad habits. I don't really like modern life with social media and porn and drinking, online dating, sexting it all leaves me a bit cold, so unless I happen across an old fashioned gent who is kind and doesn't expect to be the centre of my life, I'll pass

I love DH but if something was to happen I doubt I could be bothered to start a new relationship. It seems like you have to wade through a lot of crap to even have a chance of finding someone decent.

If you will never interact with men in your life and are genuinely happy to never be in a heterosexual relationship, keep at it. Otherwise, you could probably do with therapy or at least some editing of your bookmarks.
You're posting on a forum specifically for women to describe problems they're having with their relationships. What would you expect to see?

I’ve already told dh if ever anything happened to him I’ll never live with another man, I just don’t want the hassle, as much as we get on I’m lucky I loved being on my own and would do it again.

I often think that if me and DP broke up that would be it for me. I'm not a generally social person and I don't feel like I need a partner.

Sometimes I do see people on here who put up with terrible things and I just get so sad. I want women to have a good standard of how they are treated and to not be afraid to be on their own.
A shitty man is not better than being single.

I look at the violence, anger, greed, that men as a class have rebelled in since time immemorial, and despair of them. There are individually lovely men - I've met several - but numerically I've met more arseholes, and without doubt men and in particular white heterosexual men, are responsible for more misery in this planet than any other group. It's celibacy for me now.

Revelled in, not rebelled in!

Yeh I kind of agree and what I read here does add to that feeling.....
If I could be bothered I might be a lesbian but I will probably get a cat and take up knitting instead.

Now I have 2 DC I can’t really see a reason for a new relationship
I’m only 6 months single admittedly , but am financially Independant

I mainly went and stayed with exDP as o wanted kids . That not an especially admirable truth , but it’s the truth

I think deep down I always wanted DC more than a partner

Ditto! I've started similar threads myself.

I think being single can be Women's Liberation.

If some amazing man comes along I might consider him, but the first sign of that (it seems virtually inevitable) disrespect or narcissism etc, they will be in the bin.

I'm never ever going to live with a man again.

Absolutely. For me it's the moods. I put up with enough of living under a cloud/walking on eggshells from my father, then some from partners. Nope!

Also my pet hate is all the sexual coercion many men try. That is another crime worthy of the bin immediately.

I’m glad I’m not the only one. And @NoMoreDickheads the sexual coercion is rife! Every male partner I’ve had has tried pressuring me in to sex and got grumpy about it at some point. I asked one to use a condom and he tried entering me without it thinking I wouldn’t realise. These are seemingly ‘nice’ blokes on the surface. Totally done with the shit that comes with them

Sorry you have had this experience, but I can't agree.

I don't have relationships with men who disrespect me, and once I developed a sense of self have only had relationships with men who have treated me in an acceptable way.
I have an adult son who treats women with great respect too.

The main issue, speakout, is that a sizable minority of women attract mostly or all abusers, due to the previous abuse they've suffered. It's not something they control - think of a frightened animal. We can tell it's frightened by its demeanor, and abusers can tell if a woman is pre-groomed by her "tells".

There was a study done in NY and abusers were played video of different people and they all chose the same few people to mug - due to the way these people walked. It marked them out as good victims, easier victims.

Some women will have been repeatedly abused their entire loves and that isn't their fault. They have been selected for it.

I hear you OP.

I’m with you. Recently separated from my DH because he was controlling, smelly, lazy, selfish and throughout our relationship, never did his fair share of housework, or child related things. He was also moody & nasty when he didn’t get his own way. Put up with that shit for over fifteen years. Never again.

I'm done with men after 2 lousy husbands. I own my own home and have a career. I'm sick of sponges, sexual perverts and body fascists. Latest husband went off with a DOM and spends his life on a lead. Twat. My cat is much better company. I'm not looking for another man.

PicsInRed

I understand what you are saying, but that message is not very empowering.

I truly understand abuse. I was married in my early 20s and endured beatings, abuse, rape. It took me years to wake up.

But now that I am awake to the whole issue I no longer tolerate men who wish to control or abuse me.

Thankfully the world is full of good men who respect women.

I'm with you, OP. Yes, there's good ones about it stands to reason but in general they're not up to much.

I understand what you are saying, but that message is not very empowering.

Not all truth is empowering. It's a fact that once abused, a person is more likely to be reabused, due to circumstances created in the original abuse(s).

When a woman encounters nothing but users and abusers, it can be actually rather empowering to say "Know what? I'm calling it a day".

Accepting defeat is empowering??

I'm coming round to this myself. I'm divorced but have a long term partner who doesn't live with me, and frankly, the thought of living with him makes me miserable.

I’m in a similar position. I don’t really care if rejecting men is empowering or defeatist or not, it’s the first thing I’ve done to prioritise myself in years.

Wynterbaby, that condom fuckery sounds like a violation of the terms of your consent, so rape or sexual assault. I hope you’re okay.

I know this is a forum for women seeking relationship advice, but am still regularly surprised by the awfulness i read on here.

I haven’t gone off them. I’ve had one very long relationship - marriage - in my life, which ended due to emotional abuse. I’m really hoping I get to experience real love and a functional relationship.

Whether it happens or not is another matter!