Gone off men permanently

[Wynterbaby]

I just am sick of them. Coming on here makes it worse to be fair. Society is ridden with shitty men who treat females like their servants and abuse them mentally/verbally/financially. Make their other half pick up most of their slack including parenting duties. Feel they can judge the female body and critique it when the most judgemental ones usually have a chode or additional flab themselves but we just accept them as they are.
I realise there are some good ones but I am being absolutely serious when I say I’ve met a handful of men in my entire lifetime who haven’t made me feel disgusted or uncomfortable in one way or another.
I just am at a point where I’m so aware of how superior they really do think they are and without reason.
I don’t think I can get over it and I really do feel like I’d rather be alone forever with my DD then ever deal with a mans shit ever again. I’ve been single for 2 years and it’s been absolute heaven. And coming on here reading how so many women are abused in so many ways at the hands of men makes me so angry and realise what I’m choosing is the right thing.
Does anyone feel the same or do I need therapy and a bucket of wine?

@RightIsRight

Ive never met a nasty man. You won’t believe me but it’s true. The world IS full of nice men. To say it isn’t is laughable and I feel sorry for you

Tbh, if you've only met them, you've got no idea what they are really like at home, with a few drinks in them. If you've had relationships with them, well, good on you, you've had good relationships with nice blokes

There ARE plenty of nice men out there. We, on this thread, are mostly saying that we don't care. They can stay out there. We are happy on our own.

I think ‘a lot ‘ of men (not all by any means) age badly too, become either really needy, mean, Moody or constantly moan about stuff and very fixed in their ways. Hence why you see so many miserable looking older couples. I’m sure some women do too, but I’ve found far less women who do.

Not sure I’ve ever met a “good” man. Even the ones I think are ok have at some point done something to disappoint me. I’ve been single 6.5 years, I’m 39. I’ve got no intention of having a relationship again.

@Zaphodsotherhead i agree, meeting men socially tells you nothing really.

There was a good quote in a jane austen book about asking a plain woman for her character assesment of a man you are assessing. Very astute.

I see the 'not all men' brigade are here be nice if women could just say that they dont want a man and the stress they bring with them without being made to feel guilty or reminded that there are 'good men' out there (personally never met one yet). Imo Theres more to life then men/relationships, freedom and independence means more to me than washing some blokes undies and having to deal with the dance that is dating/relationships, iv personally had enough, age 40 with 4 kids and 2 crap marriages im done....and yes im raising sons, awesome sons, who'l go out into the world being able to wash their own god damn undies!

@RightIsRight

Ive never met a nasty man. You won’t believe me but it’s true. The world IS full of nice men. To say it isn’t is laughable and I feel sorry for you

Really? You've never met a horrid person who was male? Are you saying you've never met a nasty person, or that the only horrid people you've met have been women?

I get that there are plenty of good men (of course there are), but we're supposed to believe you've never ever known a horrible one? I wouldn't believe you've never met a nasty woman either.

There is something seriously wrong with the way men are reared. They seem to have an embedded sense of themselves as the centre and women as 'resources'. They are not encouraged to think outside of the box emotionally or understand this type of self work is as important as career achievement or having good mates. So many are seriously fu*d up about everything, but they turn it outwards and dump on women and women absorb this crap and blame themselves. Job done.

I would also urge any mother of boys to offer a strong pro-active role model, be yourself, follow your own interests, get them to think. My ex and his brother were ruined by a stay at home mum who wanted nothing more of them than to love her above all else, stifle all expressions of untidy feeling and be polite.

If as a mother you don't teach them to understand you are a whole and separate thinking human being (but still love them) and not just a resource (for attention, things, food, domestic duties, comfort) then you just unleashing another limited man on the rest of us.

Yea - I say lay off them.

Yes, this is true. So many men have treated me like a resource to be plundered.

And yet somehow i dont hate men. Ive just decided to stop looking and it has made me happier.

@rosabug i agree with you. My son is only just 14 and he has to cook his dinner and clear up. Im at work all day.

The only nasty men I've met are the ones I have had the pleasure of time with . Time has revealed every man I've ever known to be somewhat to very unpleasant.

I have met loads and loads of lovely men as well (short amount of time spent with them) , that's probably due to the fact I have long blonde hair and I have large breasts. A lot of men (not all) are nice to me all day long , but that's generally because they want to have sex with me.

Not saying this to sound like I think I'm special . I'm not , it's not enviable. It's pathetic . Slimy, gross men thinking they have a chance. I feel uncomfortable a lot of the time. From boys at school trying to see what my bra size was... Onto my boss just looking at my chest instead of my face. Cringeworthy , it's awful.

My father wasn't a nice man either .

I hope there are nice men out there though. I hope to find one , one day.

So many men (not all - please obviously) are actually disabled emotionally because of their sex drive. It makes them do creepy horrible things. The drive stifles the ability to act/think humanely where women are concerned. Rather than endlessly moaning and blaming - I think we need to talk more about what makes men this way (sexually and emotionally) and how we as a society we can change them or help them deal with this stuff better.

Education - obvs - some really serious radical forward thinking - both sex and emotional. Unfortunately this country is in the grips of Daily Mail thinking. Punitive, finger waggy and whiny. God help us.

IDK, I think they're choosing to act that way. Otherwise it'd surely be universal, save for a few with hormone imbalances?

I'm with you OP. I've been single for nearly 19 years now and it would have to be a very exceptional man that would make me consider living with him.

Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.

@Zaphodsotherhead

I haven't given up. Given up what? Yes, I've given up men, but that doesn't mean I've given up on having fun, looking good, going out, enjoying my life. I can do all of those things without a man.

Bitter? At the way I've been treated, yes. At mankind in general? No.

Happy? Most assuredly yes.

Totally this!

Oh and I'm not celibate either. Like a PP, I have plenty of fun and casual sex. I just don't want a relationship that goes any deeper than this with any man, at this point in my life.

I totally agree with you as I've had a lifetime of abuse from men and have been single 4 years now.
Occasionally I get lonely but I'm fine the next day.
It's not meant to be I think x

This. With absolute bells on. Even the seemingly intelligent, respectful to their partners, gentle and loving ones. Its soul destroying to witness.

It's true, many men are unbelievably two faced. There are a lot of come across charming and kind and it's all fake.

I currently know of one who is flirting with and has propositioned a younger woman from his work behind his wife's back. Even more sickeningly, the young lady is friends with his wife too, who is none the wiser. It's disgusting.

Social media has been an eye opener for me these past few years. The misogyny from so many of them, some men and boys actually really hate us just because we're women.

I was assaulted by boys from my school 25 years ago and they made it clear to me I was just there for their pleasure. Those experiences have never left me.

I have good, decent male family members, but I married completely the wrong type of man in every way. Lazy, abusive, deceitful, weak. I'm not sure how I ended up making such a dreadful mistake - naivety I suppose and inexperience.

Thankfully I got out of it pretty quickly (Mumsnet helped me recognise the abuse). Now all I can hope for is that I raise my DC well to be more like their uncles and less like their dad....